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  1. #1
    snobord94 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Question how to get out of friend zone

    Im in the friend zone with a girl (we will call her Emily) and I've been in the friend zone for about 5 months. She did have a boyfriend when we first became friends and so i was always there to comfort her whenever they got into a fight. In the middle of her relationship she told me she was falling for me but didn't want to leave her boyfriend until she knew that they were completely over. So i waited and finally she broke up with him and i came to her and she no longer wanted to start a relationship with me, she said she can tell me anything in the whole world so she always wanted me as a friend. And she does tell me stuff that she tells nobody else because I'm always there to listen to her but how to i move out of this friend zone and get her back to when she told me she was falling for me.

  2. #2
    Mr8Hyde6's Avatar
    Mr8Hyde6 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: how to get out of friend zone

    When she was with her boyfriend, she had problems that clearly she went to you for consoling and comfort.

    Now, that need to console and comfort is gone because her boyfriend is not in the picture, so she doesn't see you as that person of desire anymore.

    Instead, you have been there for her the entire time. Regardless of how nice a guy can be, if you are put on her list as that friend, you run the risk of being at her disposal.

    You need to get her mind around the fact that you are NOT that guy who will always be there. You demonstrate lower value by always being there for her. Instead, show her that she needs to reassure you of her friendship to you. Freeze her out a bit. Don't completely cut her off, but don't be the same guy you were. You opened up to her completely and she cut you out once her goal was complete (breaking up with her boyfriend). As harsh as it sounds, it was a means to an end.

    I've written before about how, if a girl has a bf, and she seeks something (be it physical, emotional, or mental conenctions) from another man not her bf, she typically has a missing void in her relationship. She will go out and find that, instinctively, and once succeeded, she may or may not go back to her bf. However, the bf is the comfort of it all. You have given her the comfort and filled that void her bf didn't, all by being there for her and her close friend.

    Now, all you have done is the chasing. Chased her the entire time. You have to let her chase you. Freeze her out. Build up a hang out, and cancel it last minute on her. Say something's popped up. Be vague and brief about it, let her mind wonder what it was. Don't be there for her beckoning call. Let her come to you. Get out of the friend zone by showing her you are not just a friend, and that isn't by showing her you care by listening to her every problem. Yeah, girls love that, but they love that quality in friends. Eventually, a bf should offer it. But not right away. You are her escape from her problems, not her vent. Turn the tide of conversation into something more sensual and possibly sexual.
    Remind her of a time maybe you two hung out and if there was a moment where you felt she wanted to kiss you. Remind her of those feelings of attraction. Not just, "Hey, he is here for me because he cares." You need her thinking/feeling, "Hey, I want/desire him."

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