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  1. #1
    Virgil's Avatar
    Virgil is offline Moderator / PUA All Star
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    Default Awkwardness the next day

    Hey guys,

    Last week I was on a holiday in Spain. Me and my cousin were sitting at a table drinking, with a table next to us having a couple of guys and girls there.

    We got invited to the table, and I started having conversations with random people. Boys and girls. At a certain point, a wasted girl sits next to me and we talk. Then she starts leaning in against my shoulder, and I have my arm around her as we move to another location. She seats herself next to me and leans right back in there again.

    When the entire group decides to go home, we all walk to a street where we have to split up. I asked if she wanted a kiss and she answered yes. It became quite a long kiss with her friends cheering and photographing from across the street.

    The next day we went to the same bar, where we see some of the girls from last afternoon. Including the one I kissed. But as I approach and ask one of them if I can sit down, she turns her head and I'm having trouble even locking in to talk to her.

    It seemed really awkward and there was nothing left of last night's vibe with any of them. We decided to leave and look up some of the other guys we met last night, which did greet us friendly and I spent the night talking to the two Swedish girls they had met.

    I discussed it with my cousin and he thinks she was drunk and too willing and so now regretted it.

    What do you think? And how do I avoid or repair the awkwardness that took over when we sat down the next day? I felt like it was the perfect time to throw in a false time constraint, though I hadn't briefed my cousin and he doesn't know PUA (he's an absolute natural).

  2. #2
    spool is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Awkwardness the next day

    I agree with your cousin. It sounds like drunk regret. When awkward moments come up in social situations I first figure out how much I really care in the first place and decide if I'm going to write it off and seek fun elsewhere (option 1) or stick around and diffuse the situation (Option 2). You elected to do the first... which is ok, but lets look at option 2:

    When awkwardness rises I almost always deal with it immediately. If I were in your shoes and decided to stick around I would have just asked in a very sincere manner if she would like to talk privately, and emphasis that it will be only for a moment. The sincerity in your voice matters a lot. If she accepts then she is acknowledging your sincere gesture and is going to reduce her shield and listen to what you have to say. Then you just need to make her feel comfortable around you. Address the situation:

    If she says something like "I feel weird about what happened", then you can diffuse that with something like "We'll how about we both forgive each other and start over by getting to know each others names..." and proceed with a reintroduction followed by great conversation.

    As people here call it... use KINO and make jokes... be yourself. If you make her comfortable enough you can turn the whole thing around in just a few minutes.

    She's just looking for reaffirmation that even though she may have embarrassed herself you are willing to accept her for who she is and not judge her based on what she has done. This is important to understand because once you understand why's about women, you never need to memorize lines as they will come naturally.

    Now that doesn't mean you can't poke fun at her any more... by all means do it. It's fun for her and more importantly... it's fun for you. Just be sure to steer clear of that insecurity of hers until you get to know each other a bit better.

    - Spool

  3. #3
    Virgil's Avatar
    Virgil is offline Moderator / PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Awkwardness the next day

    Option 2 sounds great to test some time. Thanks, spoon!

    It's like Style wrote: she just wants to know you're going to call her the next day because she doesn't want you to think she's a slut. Although in a different context, I guess it's similar to how the girl must have felt.


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