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Thread: 3 Speed Bumps

  1. #1
    Charrua89 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default 3 Speed Bumps

    So I'm working with 3 different girls right now, and I'm hitting speed bumps with all three.

    Girl 1:

    We went to middle school together and one day she randomly hit me up on fb. Eventually, about 2 weeks ago, we went out had a good first date, k-closed but she didn't want to go further on the first date. At the end of the night after I had already dropped her off she texted me saying she had a great time and would love to do it again. I left town for a few days after the date and once I got back I ended up calling her but she sounded very dry on the conversation and seemed to be in a rush to hang up. Also all the texts she has sent me since have been very short, disinterested responses and eventually when I asked her to go out again she never even responded.

    Girl 2:

    Girl 2 is the one that I had built the least rapport of the 3. I actually met Girl 2 while on the date with Girl 1, Girl 1 was in the bathroom so I took the opportunity to talk to this girl, got her number and began texting her. Eventually this past Monday afternoon I asked her if she wanted to grab some drinks that night but she told me she couldn't but that she would be free Tuesday or Wednesday. So on Wednesday I texted her, but never got a response.

    Girl 3:

    Girl 3 is the one I like the most and in all honestly I've noticed myself having some oneitis with her. I went out with Girl 3 last Tuesday and it was a great date, we hit it off perfectly, time flew by, we ended up hanging out for 8 hours and we didn't even notice it. At the end of the night we made out for at least an hour and we were messing around but no sex. We then went out again on Thursday and there again we made out, did everything except actual sex, cause she insisted that it wasn't gonna happen that night for some reason (it might have been partly because we were in my car). But than this week I asked her to hang out on Tuesday and on Thursday but both times she gave excuses that she wasn't in the going out mood. The problem with this girl is that I don't want to ask her out too much because than I seem too into her and she'll get bored, and also I am always the one that is initiating the texts. I really like this girl and can see myself getting into an LTR with her but I don't want to mess it up.

    So I would love to hear you're guys opinions on where I should take it next with all 3 of these girls.
    Last edited by Charrua89; 08-19-2011 at 05:02 PM.

  2. #2
    spool is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: 3 Speed Bumps

    Quick question about girl 1:
    When she sent you her text telling you that she had a good time, did you respond? If so, what did you say?

    Girl 2:
    Don't jump the gun with her. She might be really busy which buys you more time to find some additional girls. Shoot her a text after about three days if you haven't heard anything. Something to the effect of "Hi friend, when are we going to meet up for that drink?"

    Girl 3:
    First of all... keep in mind that there is no such thing as the one. I'd wait a few days and see what happens. If nothing, shoot her a random text that is likely to make her smile. Like a "fun fact" or something. Wait for a response and take it from there.

    There have been times when a prospect of mine has waited two weeks before texting me back to set something up. In the meantime I kept busy with others... just think: "If you snooze, you lose."

    - Spool

  3. #3
    Charrua89 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: 3 Speed Bumps

    With Girl 1 her reply was that "she had a great night and that she'd love to do it again soon..goodnight " with which I just simply replied "goodnight "

    With Girl 2, she's actually moving this weekend out of town to start college so it's pretty much done, I was just hoping to see her once or twice and try and get a quick f-close but it's probably too late now.

    And Girl 3, I'm planning on inviting her out tomorrow to my friends bday party at a club because when she flaked on Thursday she did say that we will go out another day, now if she flakes again this time I think I am just gonna freeze her out for around 2 weeks and then reinitiate. What do you think?

    And the whole snooze you loose thing, I completely agree with. After Girl 3 flaked on Thursday night, I decided to go out and sarge at some bars in the area.
    Last edited by Charrua89; 08-19-2011 at 07:47 PM.

  4. #4
    spool is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: 3 Speed Bumps

    Girl 1 texted you first I assume so her text:
    "I had a great time and would love to do it again!"
    Would best be countered with:
    "We'll be sure to do it again, but I'll going to be out of town tomorrow. We'll be in touch."

    She probably would proceed to ask when you'll be back indicating even more interest and I would not text until the morning so that she has something to think about all night. And your text in the morning will say: "It's only for a few days... hang in there."

    You see... a plain goodnight, even though there was a smiley face at the end is too vague based on her initial text message. You gave her no real concrete indicators of interest to captivate her.

    Saying "I had a good time too" is probably not the best idea and here is why: You want to send women comments that they can read into. By sending this girl the "We'll do it again" message you express your interest in having her company, but she still doesn't know if you actually had fun. This makes it her job to figure out if you really did or did not enjoy yourself.

    Personally, I hate text messaging because there is no voice tone - an extremely important part of communication. The fact that she sounded dry and rushed on the phone proves my point. I actually would have addressed the dry and rushed behaviour by saying something like "It sounds like you are busy so call me when you have a chance to chat." and use a moderately cheerful tone..the tone you would use if you woke up with a pretty good mood.

    - Spool

  5. #5
    Charrua89 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: 3 Speed Bumps

    Another question I have is after a real good Day 2, like the one I initially had with Girl 3, how long should you wait to contact her, how often should you contact her, and how soon should you make plans for a Day 3.

  6. #6
    Charrua89 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: 3 Speed Bumps

    I want to update what happened with Girl 3.

    Well I ended up inviting her to a club this past Saturday and her initial answer was that she wasn't going to make it, but at around 12:30am, once I was already at the club, she texted me saying she was on her way. (Honestly, I didn't want her to go because I was enjoying gaming other women). So at around 2am she shows up, but she came with a guy. Looking back that was definitely a sh!t test. I asked her what was up with him and she told me that he's her neighbor and that he is like a brother to her. I was a little frustrated and ended up telling her that either she is going to be here with me or with him, because I'm there trying to flirt with her and he's just hovering around, he even lit up a cigarette and they began sharing it. Her answer to that statement was to stop being so defensive. I stayed with her for like 10 minutes, asked her dance but she said no, then I said I had to go, kissed her on the lips (to kind of test where I stood with her) and left.

    What do you guys think of this? What should I have done differently? Is this thing dead? Where to go next?

  7. #7
    spool is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: 3 Speed Bumps

    You should not feel threatened by other men. Women go places with friends (male or female) for many reasons. Do not let it phase you. You can even spend a bit of time getting to know this "neighbour" of hers. If he is a legit friend and you can win him over then you can win her. Personally, I would have given the friend the attention to figure out where he stands and go from there. Here is a little clip of something that happened to me:
    I had arranged to meet up with this girl at a club. When she arrived she was with a male friend and introduced him as such. I greeted both of them politely and then started talking to the guy to figure out what his interests were, how him and this girl met, etc. I found out the he was single, straight, and quite entertaining.

    He and I started talking about which girls in the club we thought were hot (right in front of the girl) and all of a sudden she had the look of betrayal on her face. She obviously felt like her friend betrayed her and I thought it was the funniest thing ever. She even would interject with comments like:

    "How can you like that girl... she's got *blah* *blah*"

    After hearing these comments 2 or 3 times the following response left my lips:

    "I'm entitled to my opinion, thank you; however, would you like to prove that you can dance better than her too?"
    We took to the dance floor and the rest is a fond memory.
    - Spool

  8. #8
    spool is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: 3 Speed Bumps

    Moving forward you can try to invite her AND her friend to go out somewhere with you, but this time bring a friend of your own (female friend is preferred). That way she can keep him busy. Most importantly... have fun with it. If you aren't smiling then you aren't having fun. Make sure you give him some attention too and switch to the girl you like when you see fit.
    - Spool

  9. #9
    spool is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: 3 Speed Bumps

    Quote Originally Posted by Charrua89 View Post
    Another question I have is after a real good Day 2, like the one I initially had with Girl 3, how long should you wait to contact her, how often should you contact her, and how soon should you make plans for a Day 3.
    This depends on the vibes I am getting from the girl. Typically if I get really strong vibes on the first date (Monday) I'll schedule something for the weekend at the end of the first date. I'd call the day before the planned time to see if she can still make it.. but she'll probably already have done that 2 days before the date. Then I'll seal the deal.

    If the vibes are moderate I would call to arrange a date and wait anywhere from 5-10 days to set something up.

    If vibes are weak and my own interest is pretty low I'd wait 2 - 3 weeks before continuing.

    As bad as it may sound it reminds me of the UPS shipping tiers.
    - Spool


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