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  1. #1
    DellyM3 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Unhappy Second Date: Everything went extremely well up until...

    the end of the night. WTH did I do and can I fix the situation?!

    Hey Guys,

    Ill explain further:

    So I messaged this girl on OkC about two weeks ago. We started talking and we totally hit it off. We became interested in each other due to a lot of reasons: same interests, same places we've resided in before, music etc... However, the main reason was due to us being both introverts. I'm not an introvert to her degree I'm like 60% and she's closer to 80% and takes therapy for it. I told her I take therapy too but not so much for introversion but more for anxiety. Anyways, eventually for our first "date", we decided to meet up at a Trader Joe's. She said she wasn't really feeling good and would rather hang out at her apt (I think it was just her introversion kicking in so she didn't want to be in a public place). We had a great time, she was showing me her paintings, we watched some netflix, she showed me her yoga skills, and we smoked WEED. I kept kino to a minimum because I wasn't sure how she was going to react. I rubbed her tattoo on her fore arm tapped/felt her knee a lil bit and that's it. No kiss-close or anything else. By the end of the night, I left her place at a high-point when everything is going well - I think this was an excellent move for a first date. The second date is where sh1t went bittersweet.

    I txted her 5 days after and let her know that I'm going to be in her hood. I ask her if she wants to go to an arcade or something. She's sort of a hipster girl and likes games so I thought this would be the perfect idea; it would be an active date and we could do something more chilled afterward... BUT once again, she said she's down but tells me that I'll probably beat her in every game because she'll lose in public places. I said I was down to kick it at her place too, she agreed. Once I got to her place, everything was going good. I escalated in kino by rubbing her shoulders, purposely bumping into her and making her laugh, grabbing her toes while she was showing off her toenails. She was hungry and so we walked over to the Sizzler across the street. For the first time, I paid for her dinner. I don't know if this was a bad move or not. Later when we get back to her apt she suggests we go swimming in her pool and I said sure at first but then I realized nothing to swim in. However, she was really set on swimming! She was pissed (at the situation and not me) at the fact I didn't have anything. She was going through her whole closet looking for anything! She found these old really short shorts that didn't fit her. They were really short on me and I was giving her a hard time/teasing her that I couldn't go out in these - they're going to take my man hood away! I eventually told her fark it, let's do this. I kinda wanted to show off my muscular legs anyway. So we went swimming (nothing sexual happened at this point) it was fun and we got kicked out of the pool by the apartment security guard because it was too late to swim. So we get back to her place and she, out of no where, suggests we take a shower together!! I knew it was going to be all good from here.

    So we get into the shower, however, we're still in our bathing suits. We stroked each other with soap a little but still not so in a sexual way. To this point, everything is going good I was totally enjoying myself. We go back onto her couch and watched a lil bit of Netflix and started smoking some weed and I also downed my 4th beer of the night. Eventually, she said she was going to lay down in her bed and I was welcome to join her - booya right!!???!!? Wrong. I farked up...

    I go lay down with her and I start to hug her and then started to massage her back. She said loved it (I'm good at massages, fortunately). She took off her shirt and let me play with her. We started making out heavily and I don't wtf happened after that. Apparently, she said I started doing something weird with her hand. Somehow I turned her off. She said she's going to sleep. She didn't kick me out or anything, she just said she's going to sleep. I got up and said to her I'm taking off. She got up walked me to the door. Like an idiot though, at the door, I apologized and said "I'm sorry I did that, it's the weed kicking in" she says "I don't get it, how does weed making you do that"? I apologized again, gave her a hug and took off.

    I txted her the very next morning saying: "I was on one last night, I don't think the weed & beer did me good. I still had a lot of fun hangin out w/you yesterday : P" (Smiley face with tongue sticking out)

    I tried to make the txt not sound desperate, however, she still didn't respond. I don't get how everything was going good: 90% of the night was off the hook.

    Does this mean I am never going to hear from her again? It's been 3 days and nothing.

    Should I txt her back again? Her birthday is coming up next week I was thinking about txting her at 12am exactly

    Does she maybe thing think I don't care about her anymore? Or is that me just telling myself that?

    What should I do? I'm getting one-itus (I think) from from this chick. She's awesome and I think she can make an amazing girlfriend. We have too much in common.

  2. #2
    spool is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Second Date: Everything went extremely well up until...

    Looking back to that evening I would have asked her what you did to her hand that turned her off. If she is reluctant to provide an answer (common with introverts), just explain to her that communication is key in any relationship whether it's business, work, friend, or lover.

    If she can't communicate then your relationship on any level will fail regardless of whether or not you manage to sleep with her. I would not say sorry any more, as a matter of fact, it is best to forget about that word. You also made a sad excuse for your actions and basically lied to her. This alone probably is what did the most damage.

    Go forward with your plan about the 12 am birthday wishes as she will appreciate that, but I am sorry to say that you might not be able to repair the damage. If she feels that you violated her trust this early on you are fighting an uphill battle.

    All in all, if things do not work out just keep moving. Learn from what happened and keep moving.

    - Spool

  3. #3
    DellyM3 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 87, Level: 1
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    Default Re: Second Date: Everything went extremely well up until...

    Quote Originally Posted by spool View Post
    Looking back to that evening I would have asked her what you did to her hand that turned her off. If she is reluctant to provide an answer (common with introverts), just explain to her that communication is key in any relationship whether it's business, work, friend, or lover.

    If she can't communicate then your relationship on any level will fail regardless of whether or not you manage to sleep with her. I would not say sorry any more, as a matter of fact, it is best to forget about that word. You also made a sad excuse for your actions and basically lied to her. This alone probably is what did the most damage.

    Go forward with your plan about the 12 am birthday wishes as she will appreciate that, but I am sorry to say that you might not be able to repair the damage. If she feels that you violated her trust this early on you are fighting an uphill battle.

    All in all, if things do not work out just keep moving. Learn from what happened and keep moving.

    - Spool
    Thanks man. You're right, I don't think there is much hope for anything. I should have never apologized and should have just walked out of her apt. I txted her happy bday and all I got was "Thanks :-)".


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