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  1. #1
    Sebastian_insane is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default 3 dates Analysis

    Hi guys

    I need some solid advice and opinion about this chick that I've been hanging out with... and she is driving me nuts.

    girl that Im trying to get: Ana

    1rst: We met through a friend (HB) and first night, really tight delightful conversation, I made really good impression... my friend told me after wards that she thinks Im nice

    2nd: we went with Ana by ourselves went to bars had couple of drinks, talked about past relationships got to know each other better... nothing happened she was like "I'll take off now, good night"

    3rd yesterday... I wanted to tell her how I feel about her but before that the story starts, when she got into the club where I was hangging with my friends... I waited at the door for her so that all securities would let her in. Also before that I was having a playful talk with a HB before she came and I leaned out of the conversation because I went to get her at the door of the club. Also! I completely ignored another chick in club who I wanted to hook up with and went out with couple of times because I knew Ana was coming. So Im just trying to emphasize how much effort I put on this girl....
    back to the nigh... so everything is doing well, she decides to buy me a drink we chat a bit then we go outside in the terrace of the club... we went there and as soon as I said give me a min Ill go piss... when iM back this random old (38-43) dude is hitting on her hard... and she kind of deviated her attention from me to him... and the rest of the night kind of carries on like that... when I wanted to tell her and try to kiss her last night but this random old dude walked with us at the end I did not do it because my pride was hurt. Analyzing it, I dont know if she knows Im interested in her.... sometimes I think I might come off as too stuck up to people... but essentially Im a very friendly person and Im also really nice. Maybe thats the problem maybe, Im being too nice... like Im the kind of person that if you are hanging out with me Ill make sure you are having as much fun as you can... I'll buy you drinks, Ill ask you what would you like to do. I wan not always like that when I was younger I use to be an asshole I had 2 girlfriends at the same time and I would still be hooking up with other chicks



    experts! please advice me, guide me... am I being too nice? if yes how can I un-nice myself.

    sincerely: Sebastian

  2. #2
    Bradders's Avatar
    Bradders is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: 3 dates Analysis

    well sebastian i think the most important thing is thats an awesome name!
    but onwards after that the floors in whats happened are either really silyl ones or far out of my leauge.
    so heres what i think is the issue.

    your int he Friend zone.

    by all means yes you were doing well when you fisrt met, but if your new to teh game or simply got by withotu realising it sometimes you switch to comfort too quickly after the hook, which means your making her too into the idea of you as a friend too quickly over anything else. its a mistake easy to do so dont let it get to you.
    you didnt say but im going to assume you didnt with your attempts on the third meeting, if you didnt kiss her on the fisrt meeting,
    always kiss her by the fisrt date, otherwise you are stuck being a beta male having to tell her you like her,

    rule of thumb, the only place telling girls your feelings works is in the movies.

    you may have also moved yourself to friendzone with talking about past relationships
    this is a big big no-no, this assosciates you with pain of ex's and takes the focus away from happy subjects, for futur refrence avoid ALL mention of ex's and past relationships till you've got an F-close. with execption for hinting that your only interested inc asual fun, but even then, only if your doing very well.

    women are very good at picking up movements, im not sure how you were trying to kiss her so its hard to tell where you went wrong but remember to do your complience tests, mystery offered a nice one i use which is you lean in and out slightly several times so it looks natural, but notice how she moves, when you lean in, does she lean out? does she stay where she is? your wanting her not to move(if she moves in HOT DOG kiss her there and then)

    on a side note i appoalgise for using "hot dog", that saddens me.

    her messages giving to you were either trying to nicely keep you away from her without hurting your feelings OR definiate friendzone where she was actually seeing you as a male wingman.

    there is a thing as " too nice " which is a huge shame becasue that really shouldnt be, but it is my friend, so you can be nice in the way that your not being a dick, insensative and crude. otherwise women will class you as beta-male immedietly, and see you at best a friend becasu everyoen wants a nice friend, but as far as excitement goes, ncie-guys just dont cut it.

    now im nice, but when i talk to women im polite, nice, respectful but not thepoint where they think they own me(becasue they WILL think that) becasue im being a push over, im still the prize and im still in charge, i can leave, i have choice and I chose to talk to HER shes lucky.

    being nice, and being a nice guy are differnt things. when your out next, when you neg or DHV notice how you sound, or how other people sound when they boast, do you feel what you did was nice? or nessasary to get across your point that your worth more time then she gives you.

    when you fall into friendzone its hard to get out, blow her off once or twice, still be nice of course, arrange to meet up inafew weeks(close to the time of course) and try it from there with yuor fisrt date game
    take the conversation away from ex's and mroe onto having silly fun, fun adventures, ways to excite yourself, remember your kino my friend

    best of luck
    "It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most
    responsive to change." Charles Darwin

  3. #3
    Pierrot's Avatar
    Pierrot is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: 3 dates Analysis

    heres something. all this "not-me but you dig it." stuff, it may/can work. however ive learned through my experiences that the most important thing that a woman wants is a guy that she can easily talk about something with, and that he is good at showing that he is a empathetic/reflective listener. they also dont want anything close to what is seen in a sociopath/sexaholic(safe not to talk about it so much unless she does first)/what have you.

  4. #4
    Bradders's Avatar
    Bradders is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: 3 dates Analysis

    that is true, comfort is aa huge part of the game, and building it is talking ,but just be sure not to jump ahead from opent o comfort, thats how friend-zones are got to
    "It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most
    responsive to change." Charles Darwin

  5. #5
    Sebastian_insane is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: 3 dates Analysis

    thanks for the replies...

    I also want to mention that what bothers me the most is that...
    In my situation mentioned above, I could have been hitting on other
    chicks who were potentially interested in me and I totally ignored it because of my target.

    also Bradders what you said about being nice:

    "there is a thing as " too nice " which is a huge shame becasue that really shouldnt be, but it is my friend, so you can be nice in the way that your not being a d1ck, insensative and crude. otherwise women will class you as beta-male immedietly, and see you at best a friend becasu everyoen wants a nice friend, but as far as excitement goes, ncie-guys just dont cut it."

    I feel that now Im in a stage of transition (recently graduated from university)
    my old asshole me (grew up in South America, now I live in Montreal), have transformed into a nice me... is it possible to change back? or how can I practice being "nice" without being "the nice guy" and still able to pull off some game?

    For example: I'm very comfortable opening to new people, and I even find it easier for me to talk to girls than guys, but its about letting them know that I'm interested what its hard for me... in my experience, the truth is that the people that I've hooked up with I did not put much effort on them... I guess thats why Im not used to putting that much effort for a girl like in this situation "Ana"

    thanks for the good feedback and recommendations

  6. #6
    studmuffin52 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: 3 dates Analysis

    a few additional points to the previous responses are...

    it's sometimes a good idea to playfully interact with other girls and guys to built rapport and to show your social value. No girl likes to be followed all night, and they like to see they can interact with other people. Yeah you could have still flirted with other people, who knows they could be "side business" until you settle with this one.

    You are not tied down to you, and vice versa and as you saw, some guy was able to tlak to her and you had NO control over it, so therefore you are technically allowed to talk to other people.

    You seem to have done a lot of restaurants, bars, clubs scene, these are bad when you are trying to build some form of relaiotnship because there's not a lot of sexual stuff or kino or things that can make her have an even better time.

    how to fix this? take her to bowling, pool, walk at the park .. nice and cheap, yet fun... no need to tell her you like her, because your actions should tell her already and she'd reciprocate if she felt the same.


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