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  1. #1
    mikeboa is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Possible to be nice?

    From a lot of what I've heard PUA experts say, being nice can a huge DLV for women and can actually set you back. The reason makes sense, it seems like you're being nice just to get something, in a submissive way, like a subordinate would be to his boss.

    But this makes me curious, is it possible to be nice to a girl in a way that wouldn't be seen as kissing ass and therefore wouldn't be bad. For example, when you do something nice for your friends, it isn't seen as kissing ass or trying to get something, it just shows you to be generous. Are there similar situations when it comes to gaming a girl?

  2. #2
    Matrimcauthon77 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Possible to be nice?

    I don't think being nice is always a DLV. You're not a douche, after all. You're just playful. I think "nice" is just code for "her bitch" when people talk about it.

    It even works that way with your friends. If you get your friend a beer from the fridge when you get yours, that's a cool thing to do. If you get up to get one for him whenever he's running low even if you aren't getting one for yourself, that's his bitch--and he won't respect you.

    Also, there are "nice" things that can be done for reasons that are very attractive. Take holding doors open for example. If you are calm and walk slightly ahead of her as you get to the door, fluidly open it, and almost guide her in the door as if it's the most natural thing ever, it looks like you're just doing it "because that's what I do." But if you suddenly realize she might like you more if you hold the door for her and awkwardly jump forward to get it for her, look down at your feet and hold your breath, you can bet she thinks you're a loser.

    Make sense?

  3. #3
    keepurcool is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Possible to be nice?

    you have to be a nice guy with an edge. a lot of people who walk into the world of pua and say hey all girls like are assholes is a false statement. you can be a nice guy and still be good with women, actually i think being a nice guy pua gives better success than asshole puas. asshole pua is higher risk higher reward how ever. but anyways nice guys can still be great, you just cant be overly nice. you still need to have a level head, be fun, be confident, witty, etc etc. none of those traits are restricted to jerks. ill always back up the nice guy! lol

  4. #4
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    Pierrot is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Possible to be nice?

    watch field videos of mPUAs, are they assholes?

  5. #5
    mikeboa is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Possible to be nice?

    Yes agree with all that's been said - it just seems that a lot of PUA's seem to suggest intentionally not being nice, and in these cases you can appear bitter/negative. On the contrary being nice can be a huge DHV as long as it's made clear it's a genuine part of your character rather than some feeble attempt at gaining approval.

  6. #6
    JohnTan is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Possible to be nice?

    Yes, if by being nice you include being playful and giving off a positive energy.

  7. #7
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    nik
    nik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Possible to be nice?

    Most nice guys are pushovers. Women hate pushovers. If you can be nice while holding your own, no one is going to fault you for it.

    The complication is holding your own without failing "nice".
    I have failed more than most men have tried.

    Every woman you pass up is a woman you will never have.

  8. #8
    Pierrot's Avatar
    Pierrot is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Possible to be nice?

    couldnt have said it better myself


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