Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 16
  1. #1
    Jonathan08 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 118, Level: 2
    Level completed: 36%, Points required for next Level: 32
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    16
    Points
    118
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    11

    Default Need help following up on HB Sorority girl

    Hi,

    Last night I met this sorority girl at a club. We made out quite aggressively on the dance floor and she didn't really mind where I was touching her. She didn't come across as a slut but she was quite eager and we exchanged numbers.

    We went back to her place, and I used her bathroom to freshen up. As I walked out, she had taken off the sexy outfit she wore in the club but was now wearing a baggy t-shirt and very standard underwear - nothing particularly sexy . On her nightstand she had a book titled "why men prefer bitches" and she talked about some books she was reading - and I'm talking serious literature here; she came off as quite sophisticated.

    Anyway we made out some more in her bed but didn't get to any sex. After a while she was more interested in sleeping. The next morning we kissed a few times and she drove me back to where I live. As we made out before I exited her car I asked if I would see her again, and she said "that depends on you". She smiled as she said it but was not flirtatious in her delivery.

    I seriously cannot read this girl and I'm not sure how long to wait before texting her, or how I should pursue her (the ball's clearly on my court), but I am very attracted to her and want to meet her again, hopefully to take things further.

    What would you do if you were me?

    Jonathan

  2. #2
    In The Tropics's Avatar
    In The Tropics is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 719, Level: 14
    Level completed: 38%, Points required for next Level: 31
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social7 days registered500 Experience Points
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Southwest Florida
    Posts
    218
    Points
    719
    Level
    14
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
    Rep Power
    49

    Default Re: Need help following up on HB Sorority girl

    Woah! Slow down buddy. You are about to get yourself jammed into the friend zone. Asking her if you were going to see her again was pretty needy. Her saying "that depends on you" was more like her saying "that depends on how needy you are."

    I think you need to wait to text this girl for awhile. Probably 3 or 4 days. you don't want to look too eager at this point. Your comment when exiting the vehicle gave away too much man.

  3. #3
    Jonathan08 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 118, Level: 2
    Level completed: 36%, Points required for next Level: 32
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    16
    Points
    118
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    11

    Default Re: Need help following up on HB Sorority girl

    Damn, you're right. Thanks for the advice.

    Waiting seems to make the most sense then, but once 3-4 days have passed, what do you think the best way to follow up is? Normally I would close on her number and then text towards the end of the next day, which works fine if I haven't come across as needy; I'm not really sure what the rules are when you've had to wait it out. As a matter of politeness, should I account in any way for lapse of time?

  4. #4
    In The Tropics's Avatar
    In The Tropics is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 719, Level: 14
    Level completed: 38%, Points required for next Level: 31
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social7 days registered500 Experience Points
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Southwest Florida
    Posts
    218
    Points
    719
    Level
    14
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
    Rep Power
    49

    Default Re: Need help following up on HB Sorority girl

    Never apologize for anything. It is a sign that you are unsure of yourself. I would just call her to make plans. Have plans already set with some people (have girls in your set if possible it is a DHV), to show that you know how to have fun on your own and that you have a life. Invite her along like it was an afterthought and tell her she can bring a friend if she would like (This way she will feel more comfortable entering a new group of people she doesn't know).

    I would recommend picking up the phone and calling her instead of texting. It will show you have the balls to call a girl and that you are confident in yourself and the fact that she is going to accept your invite.

    If you get her voicemail or when you first get her on the phone say something that makes you sound interesting to remind her why she invited you over in the first place. Like, "Hey, My friend and I were having a debate about something and we really need a girls opinion. You seemed like an insightful girl when we last met so I wanted to call to get your take on this. Call me back when you have a minute. Oh yeah, this is John."

    If she answers or when she calls back make sure you have something ready for her to give you an opinion on. I would say something like "I went out to eat last night, the waitress was flirting with me. I assumed it was to get a bigger tip so I refrained from getting her number. I paid with my credit card and today she friended me on FB. Do you think that is stalkerish or what? I mean she took my name off my card!!"

    That story shows indirectly that you are willing to get another girls number still. That other girls are showing you interest and the story itself is interesting. She will definitely give you her opinion, and think she might have some competition (now she is chasing you instead). The book she had "Why men love B's" obviously shows she is a man chaser, because it shows she is trying to find out what to do to impress men. The point when a girl gets jealous over you, even a little bit, even if she has no grounds to be jealous is when she realizes that she is into you.

    Also, don't worry about a story like that blowing your chances. It won't. Remember, you have to be willing to lose a girl, or walk away at any time in order to actually get her. If she doesn't see you as a challenge she will lose interest quick and then.....Friend Zone.

    Also if she thinks she can lose you at any time she is going to do whatever she can to gain your approval and keep you.

    p.s. I would have given her Sh1t about that book when you were at her house. That way it would be material to come back to. not in a mean way, in a playful one.

    Also, look at every opportunity with a girl as a learning opportunity so that if you make a mistake you will know how to field a specific response the next time around. After awhile you start seeing that the same types of girls all react the same and have the same common responses and reactions.

    Keep me posted on how it goes man! Good luck!

    -Tropics

  5. #5
    Jonathan08 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 118, Level: 2
    Level completed: 36%, Points required for next Level: 32
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    16
    Points
    118
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    11

    Default Re: Need help following up on HB Sorority girl

    Hey Tropics,

    That was great advice, definitely worked. She answered after a it rung a few times. She was a lot more eager and responsive with me than when I was exiting her car last time we spoke. I said I was heading out for dinner and drinks with some friends on Thursday and asked if she would like to take a friend and come along.

    She hesitated and said her friend was having a birthday party. I suggested me and her just meeting for drinks over the weekend, and she accepted with enthusiasm. I think she was thrown off by the fact I asked her to come to a group meeting, which is exactly the effect I think you were going for in your advice.

    Now just need to make sure I'm relatively charming when I see her. I'm wondering whether I should add her on facebook; two girls just sent me flirtatious wall posts so perhaps if she notices it might spark some more interest. Thoughts on this?

    Jonathan

  6. #6
    In The Tropics's Avatar
    In The Tropics is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 719, Level: 14
    Level completed: 38%, Points required for next Level: 31
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social7 days registered500 Experience Points
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Southwest Florida
    Posts
    218
    Points
    719
    Level
    14
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
    Rep Power
    49

    Default Re: Need help following up on HB Sorority girl

    Definitely add her on FB. You are on that level for sure, and if she sees girls posting on your wall in a positive manner it is another DHV without question.

    Good to hear that you got a second hang out lined up. Good job man! You handled the phone call well.

    Yeah, some girls get nervous about meeting a new group of people, that is why it was good to tell her she could bring a friend. But you are right about the message being conveyed. She saw you are a cool guy with friends and stuff to do.

  7. #7
    Jonathan08 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 118, Level: 2
    Level completed: 36%, Points required for next Level: 32
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    16
    Points
    118
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    11

    Default Re: Need help following up on HB Sorority girl

    Ok - FRIEND ZONE ALERT

    So adding her on facebook worked as far as I am aware, she definitely made an effort when we went on our date, which FYI was dinner and drinks at a classy, not-too-fancy, casual, Spanish restaurant. We kissed, which she enjoyed. Atmosphere was great, although it was a little awkward as we were leaving because it took ages for the waitress to get us the bill.

    We took a taxi back to her apartment. She invited me in, but then when we got upstairs and her friends were awake so we ended up watching Seinfeld with her friend and the friend's boyfriend. Little bit too family-like if you ask me.

    Anyway, she offered to drive me home, and I accepted. As she dropped me off I kissed her again; it was quite passionate and we spent a while just looking each other in the eyes every time we parted.

    Now it's the next day and she's sent me text saying "i can't believe i'm getting [some rubbish fast food] and heading to the stacks after the fabulous dining experience last night... thanks again; I had a great time!".

    I have some degree of experience with intended sexual relationships going wrong and that text sounds suspiciously like the beginning of one. Normally I'd expect at least a winking smiley face or something else cheeky. She's definitely a very homely person and isn't one for flings, plus she's now slightly shy around me since I added her on facebook and she saw all the messages from other girls, so I'm not sure whether she's just taking it slow, evaluating me and making sure I'm serious, or whether I'm crashing and burning smack in the middle of the friend zone.

    How should I react to her text?

    Jonathan

  8. #8
    Jonathan08 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 118, Level: 2
    Level completed: 36%, Points required for next Level: 32
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    16
    Points
    118
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    11

    Default Re: Need help following up on HB Sorority girl

    I was thinking, I could perhaps reply by saying "how did it rank across your other first dates?", that way soliciting her to indicate whether she wants to continue dating rather than "hanging out". Thoughts on this?

  9. #9
    In The Tropics's Avatar
    In The Tropics is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 719, Level: 14
    Level completed: 38%, Points required for next Level: 31
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social7 days registered500 Experience Points
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Southwest Florida
    Posts
    218
    Points
    719
    Level
    14
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
    Rep Power
    49

    Default Re: Need help following up on HB Sorority girl

    Glad to hear you have had some success!

    You need to disqualify her. Do something that makes her second guess your interest, but don't make it look intentional. Nothing mean. A good way to escape the Friend Zone is to stick her there first. I would personally respond something like:


    Yeah, You better believe I don't take all of my friends out to such nice places.


    Then you made it sort of a joke, called her a friend, so you disqualified her first. But the wink face will make her wonder what you mean. Then you will appear as a challenge again and she will wonder how you see her.

    Once you see positive behavior it is o.k. to give her another IOI. It is actually good to work disqualifiers and signs of disinterest off of IOI's back and forth to create Push Pull.

    I don't think that text was bad though, but I know what you are saying as far as it looking like it could be pointing toward the Friend Zone.

    Good job Kiss closing on your date. I will tell you though, I don't normally do dinner on a first date (I actually don't usually do "dates" at all.), it is too formal and can scare girls away. It is also a little AFCish. So is a movie, movie dates are the kiss of death(just for future reference). Coffee or lunch "hang outs" tend to be better and more casual at first IMO. Or skipping dinner and just doing drinks (maybe ask if she wants to grab a bite later in order to move to another comfort building location). It is important to build up her comfort at first. "Hanging Out" is actually the better approach from my experience. Girls love to sit there and wonder "Was it date?" if you tell her it ruins it for you because you lose some of your mysterious persona. You also look like you are looking to her for approval. She should be looking for yours. I don't actually mean ask her if she wants to "hang out" just say "Hey you want to go get some coffee at X?" or something like that.

    Keep The Cat string theory in mind. You want to be the moving string that a cat will chase. If you just lay a string in front of a cat it will lose interest. If you move it, the cat will chase it endlessly. Taking her out and asking if it was a date and stuff makes you the string laid out in front of her.

    Another mentality that is good to adopt is this. This is YOUR reality and people are just here as your guest. They should all be looking for your approval. Own that, and people will know. It is ultimate Alpha.

    Keep me posted Jonathan08

    -Tropics
    There is no such thing as rejection, only feedback.

    Be the flame, not the moth.

  10. #10
    Jonathan08 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 118, Level: 2
    Level completed: 36%, Points required for next Level: 32
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    16
    Points
    118
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    11

    Default Re: Need help following up on HB Sorority girl

    Yeah I normally prefer to avoid dinner dates as well, at least for first dates. She rang me beforehand asking if we could have dinner because she had to do work the next day and therefore didn't want to do drinks (but she drank at dinner anyway). And I agree, movie dates are a terrible idea.

    I texted her saying "yeah you better not think I take all my friends out to such decent places ". I thought that was quite a good idea.

    As expected, she didn't reply to that one; that's not a problem. Thing is, I happen to have a few days free this weekend with absolutely nothing to do. It would be perfect to do something with her but I'm just wondering if there's any specific approach I should have. I was thinking there is a wine tasting place nearby that I wanted to check out, and during our date we talked about perhaps doing that together. I could suggest doing it, any rules about how I should communicate it given the approach I've been taking?

    Also, I get the impression she's quite inexperienced with guys and a little shy even, which is surprising because she's really hot. If a girl is too shy to make clear and/or deliberate IOIs, how do you tell if she likes you?

    Thanks again for your help. I'm used to dealing with real b**ches, have no idea how to deal with nice girls :S

    John


Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com