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Thread: Lost again!

  1. #1
    snake49 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Lost again!

    This could be a long story, I will keep it short but try to get the important facts in. almost 2 yrs ago I met a girl who was much younger then me, I was 47, she 24. We became friends, what I thought and she always said, very close friends. As a side bar it never bothered me that she was so young. She was mature for her age in many ways. The only problem was she had a 7 yr old son and a boyfriend who is the boys father. They were not married at the timeÖ.as her and I grew closer which seemed to be within mths, I became concerned that we were beginning to have feelings for eachother. I lectured her on several occasions how I was concerned about this, and she was also.

    Background info: she was going to school partime, the boyfriend was not making much $$ at all. They lived together in the basement of her boyfriends fatherís house. Not much rm, mattress on the floor , no bedrm furniture , cloths piled everywhere. She was always complaining about him arguing with her. So, you can guess where this one is going, we did get involved for a year, even after she married this guy, which I begged her like a total afc not too. We called eachother every day, we saw eachother every day since we worked in the same office, it couldnít be helped. Since Iíve been searching around on these types of websites I realize now that I was a total afc, put her on a pedestal. I fell in love with her and I fell hard. She told me she loved me all the time all the time, like every day she told me. We made love 2-3 days a week, just about the best s***x Iíve ever had. We both agreed the s***x was great.
    I would take her to my home all the time, I would have to meet her and she would follow me there, if I didnít she was always afraid she would get lost. I would bring her coffee every day at the office, buy her jewelry. I bought her a small diamond which from some recent pics I saw she still wares it.

    So towards the end , (and after reading all that Iíve read from this website and others I should have backed off and saw it coming) she became stressed and moody all the time. She limited the time spent together , she blamed it on school. Of course she was married then, and I should have baled on her when that happened. I honestly tried, I probably told her it was over a doz times during those last few mths, but she always cried and begged me not to go. Well, one night she chatted me up, and told me it was over, she said she couldnít do this anymore, that even tho she was still in love with me she owed it to him(now her husband ) to stay w him. She said she needed to take care fo her family. Well, of course I said ok..see ya and all that. But a few days went by and we began talking again although she said she had to stick to what she said no matter what. She graduated from school finally got a very good job in the health care field that pays well.

    She asked me to be a friend to her, she told me if I really cared I would. I refused of course.

    That was back in Feb 2010, I must have did no contact with her and blocked, unblocked and blocked her profile on FB 20 times. I texted her once In Aug 2010, she was just a bit***ch, she said for me to loose all her info, emails, phone#, she said she was very happy and that she doesnít need any reminders of us.

    So, of course that was enough said for me, I have stayed no contact since. I did chk her FB profile about 2 mths ago and saw she had another child, the stupid thing is, they are now living with her mom in an old beat up small home in the nastiest of sections, just a flat out bad neighborhood.

    She would have had it great with me, a nice home etc. She choose to stay with him, a loser w no financial means hardly at all. She told me at one time that her mom need help financially. Well, lately some weird things have been happening that has put me back into oneitis again. In the last 2 mths, Iíve seen her car drive by my home about 7 or 8 times. She knows no one out near me at all except her sister works about 2 miles form my home but is over to the opposite side of where I live. I.ve been wanting to call her to see how she is doing, but would feel like sht if she hung up on me. Her sister posted some pics of her on fb and she still looks great even with the now 2 childran. Im thinking maybe she wants me to see her drive by or maybe shes reaching out, or am I just wrong on this. Would I be a fool just to call her to say hello?
    I was maybe thinking email her sister and just ask how she is doing? I donít know, I know im still very much in love with her thatís for sure, I wish I wasnít. Help!

    Because of the drive bys, im thking she's not as happy with her current circumstance as she thought she would be. Any ideas or advise?



  2. #2
    snake49 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Lost again!

    Well, no advise yet...so i'll say it. I know that I was pretty lucky to have had at the time a 23 tr old and I was 47 yrs old at the time! She was at least a 9 in my book on the looks scale and body scale. And I gave her a 9 not a 10 only becasue she had a kid. Half asian, she is still a really pretty girl, even tho I blocked her profile on FB, I did see a few pics of her on her sisters FB website. She is still hot in the face, but it was obvious the second child didn't do her a****sss any favors. She has gained wieght in the hips for sure. So, I couldn't wait for advise, I texted her this afternoon this is what I texted her, " ok, u got me,....... congratulations."

    And of course no reply yet. She did always tell me towards the end of the relationship, she has to be careful texted me because he checks her phone bills. But, guys im not gonna kick myself for this...because I still have feeling for her. In saying that, I did break no contact, she will not get any more contact from me! No texts, I will keep her blocked on FB, no calls nothing. Im done. Because the fact is if a woman is interested in you, even in her situation, she will find a way to get hold of you. I just thought with the drive by's, she was interested...I guess that was my foolish imagination or wishful thinking.

    Well, im the prize, not her, financially she has nothing and she is the one that has to take care of her family like she said. Her loser has to ride her coat tails for the security. She lost!
    By the way guys, im a good looking guy and have no problem with woman, i've always had fairly young and hot girls. For some reason this one got to me.

    Out

  3. #3
    In The Tropics's Avatar
    In The Tropics is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Lost again!

    Well man. I would say that her driving past your house is in IOI without question. I mean, do you live in a suburban neighborhood? If so and there could be absolutely no reason for her to drive by then.... what else could it be?

    To me it sounds like her husband is a complete scrub, and she is probably miserable. If she doesn't respond to your text I would just move on though. I really don't see how you could still be so stuck on a girl from so long ago man. You gotta fight the Oneitis! It will rot you. I know man, I used to have the same problem.

    Hope it all works out for you.

    -Tropics
    There is no such thing as rejection, only feedback.

    Be the flame, not the moth.

  4. #4
    snake49 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Lost again!

    Quote Originally Posted by In The Tropics View Post
    Well man. I would say that her driving past your house is in IOI without question. I mean, do you live in a suburban neighborhood? If so and there could be absolutely no reason for her to drive by then.... what else could it be?

    To me it sounds like her husband is a complete scrub, and she is probably miserable. If she doesn't respond to your text I would just move on though. I really don't see how you could still be so stuck on a girl from so long ago man. You gotta fight the Oneitis! It will rot you. I know man, I used to have the same problem.

    Hope it all works out for you.

    -Tropics

    I agree, I do live in an area where there is only one road that goes past my home. My home easy to see, im rt on the corner. It's a long country rd so yes only one reson for her to drive by. So, today I figured, she has to have some interest , I didn't want her to think I had texted her somthing that didn't make sense like the last one so I texted her today and I made a promise to myself that it will be my last contact to her ever. The ball is in her qt now!

    This is what I said.."hey, I can't tell u how many times i've asked myself today why would I have texted u a text that was meant for a friend of mine?" "I could only come up with one reason...

    "That after almost 2 yrs, I still love you and miss you very much. Anyway hope all is well, and sorry for the texts".

    So, I did this to show her that if she's afraid to contact me, she shouldn't be, that she can talk to me, if she wants too. So, I've done it all now...she hasn't replied, but sooner or later she may. If she doesn't, F**KKKK her, I will do whatever it takes to get over this.

    Now as to why im still not over her after so much time, I don't know, the last contact as I said was Aug. 2010, since then I've blked at her FB pics every day just about, only recently have I blked her from seeing my FB profile. And I did that only because her profile pic is a pic of her newborn and I just can't take seeing that. A friend/co worker of hers is also a friend of mine and when we talk she consistanly brings her name up. And I still have pics of her in my email system.

    At one time I thought that having my FB pics public so she could see them, me with other girls, having good times, new cars etc would get her jealous and stir some feelings back up in her, but after a while I fig it wasn't working. Now, im thking just unblk her, let her see my public pics anyway, or would that be obvious? But I am going to force myself to move on now..for some reason it's difficult as sht! Also, I wonder if she was driving by in hopes that I see her so that I would contact her, she would then know I still care and that would be an ego boost for her? Is that too far a stretch? Ok, so, if I see her driving by again...I should ignor her right, right at this point? Thks for all your help. Im going to the gym a lot, trying to stay busy with my carreer etc.


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