This story probably has bored you to death. Though I'm diving in this experience as an invaluable source for my future, if anything.
I will go in super summary mode:
The night before this girl's boyfriend was scheduled to come visit, I met her. I walked her to her place at night (we were holding hands but not more) and she invited me over.
« Ok, but just for a tea. » I said.
« Actually, I don't have any tea. » she replied while walking before me.
« Whatever. » I said.
At some point in her kitchen, drinking tea (she had tea), I escalated and we started making out. I took her shirt off, but, when we started to make too much noise, she became too self-conscious and stopped me (she has flatmates) and sat on a chair with her head in her hands.
Then we moved to the bedroom. A few make-out sessions and LMRs later (on which I should point out she at some point said: « I want to f**k you so badly… but I can't! ») I was going down on her… and she was thoroughly enjoying that, pushing my head and stuff.
When suddenly her alarm clock rang: she was supposed to go to the train station and get the train to the airport to pick up her BF in like 10 minutes.
So she stopped. She stopped the alarm clock. Waited a bit, then jumped on me and grabbed my junk and we started escalating. Five minutes later, her phone rang and, you guessed it, it was her BF.
She goes in panic mode, answers to him like she was sleeping and I get dressed.
Before going she says this thing that perhaps is worth noting: « I have never been so immoral in my life. And the fact is that I don't feel bad about it and I don't want you to go away. »
Between then and Saturday I opt to send her a funny email, just to act cool, and give her good feelings while reminding her of her time spent with me. She answers with a funny text message.
Saturday I go out to a club really close to my house; since my house is quite far from the city center, reaching that club is not an obvious decision for your average Saturday night (I went there to make sure not to meet her and to game other girls).
But she was there, with her boyfriend and other friends.
I was really flabbergasted by the careless way she introduces her BF to me… but, nevertheless, I act cool.
Actually I act so cool that, when we go outside of the club and start walking, her BF and me were speaking about all sorts of stuff in isolation, having fun. He says goodbye to me with a sincere smile, saying: « It was wonderful to meet someone like you, tonight. »
Today she sends me a text message saying: « That should never have happened. I'm sorry. »
I'm really confused. I thought that purposefully going to this club with her BF was like some kind of sh1t test; or maybe a way so that next time we meet and escalate (if we do), she could share the guilt with me and maybe feel a bit better about it (since, from now on, I am also doing something immoral). Though her text message isn't consistent with those conclusions.
I really wonder what's the big idea in her mind, and what the scenario turned to now.
This has really thought me a lot of things about relationships, morality and women. Not that I want to say they're all the same, but it opened to me a few scenarios I would have not understood if this hadn't happened.
I know for sure my aim with this girl is definitely not an LTR, and the way she's conducting her own LTR right now is bloodcurdling.
As usual, any insight appreciated.