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  1. #1
    Jackman22 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Former crush kino's me. What's she after?

    Hi guys,

    I had a crush on this girl last year, lets call her "Erica". She was my date to a formal function, we had lots of fun, and at the end of the year we were texting. It was clear that I liked her. When Erica was at one of my parties, her sister Jessica pulled me across the floor from my kitchen and handed me off to Erica to dance with her.

    We stayed in touch over the summer. At the beginning of the year, Erica texted me about how excited she was to see me, ran up and hugged me.. things were looking good.

    The next night I got really drunk and acted like an a**hole, pissing off Erica and most of her friends. It was awkward for a while. I drunk texted Erica that night saying how much I liked her and trying to explain and apologize for how I acted. She responded the next day saying that she appreciated what I said, but was unhappy with how I acted and hoped that I'd learned from it.


    The next day I saw her at another party and she wouldn't even look at me. I steered clear.

    The next night Erica, sister, and two friends come to my house to pregame. It's super awkward and while Erica is sort of nearby, I stay away from her and don't talk to her.

    A week later she was at a party with me and saw me take home a girl (she told a friend of mine about it).

    The next week I was getting a drink in the basement/dance floor area at a party, a friend of mine gives me the "hi sign" and I turn around: she's 7 feet behind me standing alone, giving me a weird look.

    A few weeks pass, and a similar thing happens. I'm on the porch at a party and my friend is winding Erica up saying "He's over there, wink wink wink". I laugh and get him to leave her alone, and her friends March Erica inside.

    A few hours later, I'm clearing out the party. Jessica and friends are standing together, but Erica isn't with them. It's super rare for them not to be in a huddle. The cops are here, Jessica and friends leave when I ask the living room to clear out.

    A couple minutes pass, I turn around and see through the doorway to the kitchen, Erica standing at the counter alone, looking in my direction. As I walk into the kitchen, we make eye contact, but its kind of awkward and I'm not sure that she was trying to talk to me. I side step her and tell everyone to clear out. As Erica walks past me, she puts her hand on my shoulder, but keeps on going.

    Is she just trying to get attention from me, or does she miss me and want to talk?

    I doubt she's trying to "be just friends" because I was kind of a drunken jerk before.. I'm trying hard to be better and I really miss her.

    If she was trying to patch things up, I would be over the moon happy. Its weird though because we were never officially boyfriend/girlfriend.

    Is this just her way of trying to get me to start a conversation with her?

    FYI- over the weeks discussed in this post, I've been hooking up and having fun with several different FWB's. I just came to realize that I missed having this girl in my life. She's a good complement to who I am as a person, and I miss the feeling of her caring for me.

    Let me know if that's still a possibility, and how I should proceed.

    Thanks guys!

  2. #2
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Former crush kino's me. What's she after?

    Sounds like she's jealous, seeing you not caring and being with other girls is driving her crazy

    This is a good thing

    You wanted her before, she knew it so she didn't have to try. Now you don't want her so she's trying to get you to come back after her

    Don't take the bait, at least not quite.

    Be a man, go say hey. Kino her and be cool, sounds like you could sleep with her soon cuz once you start touching she will be all over it

    Just make sure you stay aloof and act like you don't care. That's what's working for you.

    You have options, she hates it.

    You gotta use the cat string theory here, give her a bit, tease her, but make her work for it

    Good luck doesn't sound like you would have any problem tho, just be confident
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  3. #3
    Jackman22 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Former crush kino's me. What's she after?

    So she's interested again-

    Alright I'll take that. But after I drunk texted her my interest/tried to apologize, she ignored me. Is she expecting an apology or is this her way of showing that she's past it (like everyone else in her social group) and misses my interest in her?

    How should I reopen her?

  4. #4
    The Red Baron's Avatar
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    Default Re: Former crush kino's me. What's she after?

    Of course she ignored it. You apologized to her and came off as a needy afc again

    Read my last advice, she wanted you because you stopped showing interest in her and she had to chase you to get it back

    You just lost a lot of points with her on that move. You're gonna have to back off and do your thing for a while hope it starts getting to her that you don't care
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  5. #5
    Jackman22 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Former crush kino's me. What's she after?

    "Of course she ignored it. You apologized to her and came off as a needy afc again"


    Sorry, I was referring to the night that I fucked up nearly two months ago. I haven't spoken to her since. She's just been orbiting/getting in my vicinity, but not saying anything.

    I have been freezing her out and it's working. I'm asking about how to reopen her.


    What I was saying when I asked "Is she expecting an apology or is this her way of showing that she's past it (like everyone else in her social group) and misses my interest in her?" is this:

    Is she expecting me to talk to her and apologize, or is her very recently kinoing me and being in my space her way of saying "talk to me, I'm not worried about what you did, because all my friends are over it"

  6. #6
    The Red Baron's Avatar
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    Default Re: Former crush kino's me. What's she after?

    Gotcha my mistake

    She misses your interest because your freezing her out so just be careful you don't start telegraphing too much

    She may want an apology I'm really not sure, but you're better off not acknowledging it at all. Just leave it be for now. Her orbiting is hoping you will open her apology or not. You're gonna appear more alpha if you've moved on past it

    Opening her now shouldn't be too hard, just be confident. If she's sitting up against the wall or something I'd just go right up next to her, smile, and say how ya been. Do it slowly, wait 2 seconds when you approach make her think for a second and use the opportunity to read her

    I wouldn't go with jokes right off the bat given the tension and your history. Make a few pleasantries, then tease her once the conversation has started a bit
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  7. #7
    Jackman22 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Former crush kino's me. What's she after?

    Gotcha-

    At this point, am I in attraction or comfort building?

    Obviously showing that I've grown up is preferable to an unsolicited apology, I just don't know whether I am trying to regain her interest or to help her trust me again.

    Or perhaps I'm qualifying her? I did sort of "jump the gun" in telling her my interest earlier, and she did say that she appreciated my words before "going dark" on me as I tried to explain my actions.

    Thanks for your help. Let me know what you think!

  8. #8
    The Red Baron's Avatar
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    Default Re: Former crush kino's me. What's she after?

    It's a little bit of both here but depends on the girl.

    Opening old relationships again involves a little comfort building in the beginning of conversation, but tease her and kino her as quickly as you can transition to it
    Make it somewhat sexual, show her you are alpha

    And you're definitely on the right track qualifying her, you've got options you're seeing if she's good enough for you. Just keep that in the back of your mind but otherwise be happy and playful
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval




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