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  1. #1
    Hobbit is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Question Experienced virgin.

    I am experienced with women, but still technically a virgin and it really bothers me. The problem is I am scared of not being good.
    Last edited by Hobbit; 11-26-2011 at 10:44 PM.

  2. #2
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    nik
    nik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Experienced virgin.

    tagged
    I have failed more than most men have tried.

    Every woman you pass up is a woman you will never have.

  3. #3
    Pzark41 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Experienced virgin.

    The biggest mistake a man can make is to be afraid of making one.

    You need to get out of your own head and decide what you want. If you get the IOIs, go for it. If you genuinely don't want to, then don't. But don't back out because you're scared.

    You should also probably just accept the fact that you're not going to be the greatest the first time you have sex - no one really is, but it's not a big deal.

    Also, there will ALWAYS be people better than you at virtually everything. You simply cannot compare yourself to other people all the time - it only hurts your ego. YOU need to be happy with your performance, and not care about what anyone else thinks.

  4. #4
    Stineman is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Experienced virgin.

    While I agree with Pzark I think you're approaching the problem from the wrong frame Hobbit. To sound girly and emotional for a second here I am pretty confident that losing your virginity is a serious event in ones life. I specifically remember my first time and it was almost 10 years ago now. (It lasted maybe 30 seconds haha.) The way you're approaching now is like you just want to get laid, which is surely true, but also like you have experience and like it's probably no big deal. It's probably a source of the competitive-be-the-best anxiety towards sex as well.

    If I were you I'd take a look at what I actually wanted. Maybe you're not ready for an f-close and you're looking for something more before you commit to closing all the way.

    As for the logistics of closing there's nothing wrong with her place, just get out in the morning. No breakfast, seriously.

  5. #5
    Hot Stuff is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Experienced virgin.

    Heck is there no word other than VIRGIN for guys???

  6. #6
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    Sitfab is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Experienced virgin.

    Hot Stuff, there are, actually :

    - Level 42 Warlord
    - Sexually Deprived Human

  7. #7
    toshpua is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Experienced virgin.

    Hey Hobbit what city do you live near?

  8. #8
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    Virgil is offline Moderator / PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Experienced virgin.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sitfab View Post
    Hot Stuff, there are, actually :

    - Level 42 Warlord
    - Sexually Deprived Human
    Hahahaha. I heard they go up to level 80 or so these days so they'll probably say that number now.

  9. #9
    Hobbit is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Experienced virgin.

    No breakfast, ahahah. Unfortunately, I doubt it would happen since I've had the worst of luck with the area my hookups lives in! They all live approximately 30 to 1 hour ride of town but in the opposite direction! Since I am usually getting a lift from my friends, I can't really follow the girls without having a 150$ cab ride home in the morning (And that's if I don't have school or not working)! I guess I will have to take my own car more often and just hope that I will do a good job. After all, I will get better with experience and it's not that big of a deal, isn't it?

    Dropping the ego part is easier said than done, though! Since I've grown up with a "leader" mentality where others always look up to me, It created a ton of pressure on my shoulder. I think the thing I am actually scared of is that I will be really bad and the girl would tell some people which would damages my leadership (Ex: Hockey team Captain, etc...).

    I guess I have to find a girl who doesn't know anyone I know, or just drop the ego!

  10. #10
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    nik
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    Default Re: Experienced virgin.

    Quote Originally Posted by Hobbit View Post
    I love that controversial title.. Ahaha

    Anyways, I am new to this website, but not to the game! I'm 19 and I've been doing night game for about a year. And, still a virgin...

    However, I'm not the typical social retard virgin. I actually do well with girls. I go out every week and pick up numbers and hook up with at least 1 girl every night(1). I am tall, muscular and I consider myself good looking. The question: Why is he still a virgin? I think the problem is between my ears(2)! I have an attractive lifestyle, and I do a ton of sports. So I have a really competitive mind. I want to be the best at everything I do(3). I've had my first kiss at 17 even thought I had many opportunity before just because I was scared to be a bad kisser. I wanted to be a great kisser right from the start. Turn out it happened...

    I had many opportunities of having sex during the past year. However, either I had incredible bad luck or I would pussy my way out of the situation(4). I had girls dragging me to the club bathroom and I would refuse or the bouncer would kick us out of the club. I was bringing a girl to my car and her friend showed up out of random and cock blocked me. I took a walk to the park with a girl and on our way to the park, we met one of her friend who we're crying and turned out to be the birthday girl. Had a girl friend in my bed, but I caught a pneumonia so my stomach was killing me. Still managed to get oral thought. Name them, I've had them all. Incredible bad luck, incredible bad logistic (I still live with my parents and my home is about 1h ride from the city(*)).

    I have about 10 girls on my cell right now that I could text and they would meet me at a club whenever I want. I have absolutely no problem gaming girls, until sex.

    Since I am mostly night gaming, the only real way I can close is in my car(5)... And I don't really know how to tell the girl or what should I do in order to bring the girl in my car... Bad logistic.

    My other problem is in my head... With that really competitive mindset, I don't want to be bad at sex(6). I want to be really good during my first time, just like my first kiss... I pussied my way out of so many situation since I didn't want to be bad in bed. On the other hand, I know I have to do it if I want to get better(7)... That sucks

    I have meeting up with one of those girl on saturday at a night club. I will probably dance and hook up with her. I need to find a way to isolate her from all of her friends and bring her back to the car, where we will be alone... I thought of buying a bottle of alcohol and just use it as an excuse of bringing her in my car(8).

    Any of you guys been in the same situation? What to do? Advices would be really appreciated!

    Quote Originally Posted by Hobbit View Post
    No breakfast, ahahah. Unfortunately, I doubt it would happen since I've had the worst of luck with the area my hookups lives in! They all live approximately 30 to 1 hour ride of town but in the opposite direction! Since I am usually getting a lift from my friends, I can't really follow the girls without having a 150$ cab ride home in the morning (And that's if I don't have school or not working)! I guess I will have to take my own car more often and just hope that I will do a good job. After all, I will get better with experience and it's not that big of a deal, isn't it?

    Dropping the ego part is easier said than done, though! Since I've grown up with a "leader" mentality where others always look up to me, It created a ton of pressure on my shoulder(9). I think the thing I am actually scared of is that I will be really bad and the girl would tell some people(10) which would damages my leadership(9b) (Ex: Hockey team Captain, etc...).

    I guess I have to find a girl who doesn't know anyone I know, or just drop the ego!

    1. What does "hook up" mean, to you?

    2. Correct. The issue is with you and in your head; like almost every other guy.

    3. That's a beautifully misguided goal. Most of life's best experiences are in the learning, not the mastery.

    4. So the bad luck didn't matter, you were going ot puss out, anyway.

    * See number five.

    5. Think bigger. Why couldn't you get a hotel room? Can you take them to your parents' house? Yes, sex in the car (or your parents' house) is a possibility (I lost my virginity in my car), but the whole experience will be better for both of you in a better setting. Perhaps, you have a wingman in the city who can offer a room to use. If you're worried about losing your virginity, don't set yourself up for failure where it's controllable.

    6, 7. That's not your "competitive mindset". No one wants to be a poor performer sexually. You're just a coward in fear of not being the best; which you have admittd, kudos. More on this later.

    8. Take some time to get the logistics worked out before you continue on. This plan is lame.

    9, 9b. You may have been a leader in some things, but you are not exhibiting leadership qualities. How in the hell does your sexual prowess influence your ability to be the Captain of any team? Right now, you're on the bench with team ***.

    10. Yes, most women will talk about how the sex was. However, most won't say anything except to their closest friends. They don't want other women judjing them as sluts. Even if you are the worst lay in the world, the few friendss of the woman you slept with won't look down on you; at least, not becasue of that (so long as you are worth a crap in other areas, non-sexual and sexual). Even if something is said, most people won't believe it. There's just too many reasons to lie about how good or bad someone is in bed. Jealousy is very powerful and everywhere.



    ____________

    Early summer 2011, a tornado wiped out one of our small towns. I was called out to help. I am the lowest paid patrol cop at my department and a volunteer firefighter. When I arrived, no one was in command. I grabbed a map and started giving orders. I made up a way to mark houses and areas searched and deligated tasks.

    In the end, I was in charge of all Operations for longer than the first thirteen hours.

    I was giving orders to and answering the questions of heads of departments and State and Federal political leaders (including one US Senator); some of whom had more training and experience and years on the job than I've been alive.

    When some of the highly paid and more influencial people arrived, I had to see the look of disgust on their face when they saw a 25 year old in a plain cop uniform was making most of the big decisions. I had to buck up and stand my ground. With a few, I had to make them realize they were beneath me in the chain of command; to their chagrin.

    After it was all over, I had made a few bad decisions. While no one faulted me for it; in fact, I have never heard a bad word spoken about what I did; I judged myself harshly.

    Now, I have references, in relation to my leadership ability in times of mass chaos from every department head inthe area and some high level politicians.

    A leader is willing to make mistakes and fix them, but has to know when to stand by them.

    I'm running out of time and will edit this later.
    I have failed more than most men have tried.

    Every woman you pass up is a woman you will never have.


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