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  1. #1
    hitech is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Question Need help with vague response to first phone call

    Hello all, first time post. I have a quandary about how to handle a fairly vague response to my first phone call to a girl I've been getting to know.

    The story: met her at a friend's party, had a good chat, connected on FB a couple days later. Chatted some more there, then saw each other at an art event soon after. Because of mutual friends, we ended up hanging out all night and she was giving me good signs of interest (asking to go see painting with her, sitting next to me and engaging me at the after party).

    She's an illustrator and a surfer. We have some overlap cause I'm a graphic designer so it's good. She told me she was working on paintings for a show at local gallery.

    The following week, I flirted a bit on FB and she reciprocated a tiny bit. I asked about her paintings and show, etc. Then we saw each other again at a book release that week. She found me right away and approached me. At that point we were stuck together the whole night. We shared a cupcake, more or less shared a meal at the after party later. Talked a lot, felt like we connected. We chatted about her paintings again. When we all left, she hugged me, and I felt like it was time to escalate a bit. I asked her if she wanted to get together for a drink the following week. She said "Yeah, sure... do you have your phone?" And gave me her phone number without me having to ask for it. I thought that was pretty good.

    It was a Friday night, so I waited until Monday night to call her. When I did, she took a moment to recognize my name and then we chatted about the weekend. She told me what she did, offering up info, I told her about mine. She told me she hadn't slept well the night before so she was really tired, just making dinner. Then I brought it around to getting together. She said "Oh yeah, well, I don't know if this week will be really good because I have to finish these paintings, but after that's done, I can let you know?" Then she got me off the phone by saying she needed to finish dinner.

    The thing is: I know the thing about the paintings is at least valid, because the deadline is this weekend, so I could see how she would be busy every night that week. She was still friendly and normal on the phone, but she did sound tired and a bit distracted. I felt like all the indicators were there that she was interested. And then the very fact that I basically asked her out and she said yes AND offered her number was good.

    I probably made 2 big mistakes: 1) not doing some touching escalation (although the cupcake sharing was kind of a intimate bonding) and 2) not asking her to do something specific and interesting on a specific time frame.

    Am I worried about nothing? Or am I skirting close to friend zone? Thanks for any thoughts!

  2. #2
    hitech is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help with vague response to first phone call

    I found out from mutual friends she's a really nice, genuine girl who's had trouble with past guys just being interested in her physically. Obviously, she's hot and I feel that way, too, but I'm actually quite interested in her open genuine personality, too. Maybe I was reading the signs wrong, but I thought it was going well.

    I haven't heard from her all week so I texted her on Friday and asked how it was going with her paintings, we texted back and forth a couple times, but she left my last hanging. Saw her on Facebook much later in the night and said hello with a little offer to get a coffee or something the next day. Still nothing from her.

    Pretty sure I have to wait, but I'm wondering how I can get something going with her if she never calls or contacts me again?

  3. #3
    hitech is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help with vague response to first phone call

    Would really love some advice on this one... I haven't spoken to her for a week, but might be seeing her at an event this Friday... how should I play it?

    Going back to the call 2 weeks ago, she told me "this week is probably not good because I have this stuff to do before the weekend, but after I'm done I can let you know?" The stuff she was working on were paintings for a show. Those paintings were done and then things rolled into the Thanksgiving weekend where she was leaving town to visit her parents for 5 days. So I could see how she would never call me during this time...

    Heard from a mutual friend some 3rd hand info that she had mentioned me but it just sounded casual/friendly. So maybe she wasn't interested at all and just kind of said "yes, here's my phone number" to avoid a rejection or something?

    Anyway, would love to hear some advice on how to play it from here. I'd like to give it another try.


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