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  1. #1
    Hot Coffee is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Beautiful friend has me confused

    I've been friends with this beautiful woman for about a year now. Earlier in the year she expressed interest in me, but I pretty much friend zoned her before she could friend zone me. Which she said it would probably be hard for her, seeing at times she has problems controlling herself.

    At that time I had been going through some issues and was in no proper state for a relationship, she was getting over her ex bf, and I didn't want to be her rebound guy either. So I told her that I wasn't really looking for anything but friends but if something more grew out of it, that'd be cool.

    We carried on our friendship, which grew to us teasing each other relentlessly. I didn't think anything about it since her and I are very similar in ways and thought it was just friends teasing. Then the teasing turned into sexual comments, just stuff like that. We get on so well that at times, the people that know us always ask me if we have something going on the side.

    So a few weeks ago, she tells me she knows I like her from the things I do and say at times. She adores me blah blah but she doesn't see herself with me. I tell her that I think she likes me more than she wants to admit to herself, and she gives me that look that she's been caught but denies it with such a big grin and insincerity in her voice that it was hard for me to hold back the laugh.

    The next day she sent me naked pics of herself as a "joke". This kind of behavior annoys me, so I'm nice to her, say she looks great and then proceed an attempt to do a Freeze Out so I could also get my head clear.

    This goes on for a week of no contact, weekend rolls around and she sends me a text asking where I've been, if I've been okay..etc. I answer her vaguely telling her that I've been fine, just busy.

    That following weekend she's all over me. We have a long conversation and I say to her "as much as I enjoy how we interact with each other, we should probably set some boundaries."

    You know to put the ball in her court. I figure if she doesn't see herself with me, fine I have a friend and we now have rules such as no sending me goddamn naked pics.

    Her reply to me is "I don't want to do that, I enjoy our dynamic."

    Which after that long story that I tried to keep short still has me confused. Everything she does is opposite of what she says. Which has me wanting to go for a complete Freeze Out and just be too busy for her for awhile. I don't know what the hell to do, so any advice is appreciated.

  2. #2
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Friend has me confused

    This push pull can work for you a bit

    You want to be setting false boundaries, so good note bringin it up. When things start heating up give her some "no... We can't.." or "I promised myself I'd behave tonight..."
    These challenger her to push through your boundaries a little. If she sees you as the pursuer, she will have walls up, if you make her pursue you shell be trying to tear yours down instead

    It's not flawless but it's about the best way to approach it, 2 steps forward in yor escalation and one step back with some false boundary, then pull away a bit
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  3. #3
    lamarre is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Beautiful friend has me confused

    You have me confused. Are you trying to attract the girl so you can be in a relationship with her, or are you trying to just be friends with her because you dont want to be in a relationship with her?


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