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  1. #1
    markrichards is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default need expert help with a very complex girl! anyone want to help?!

    Hi Guys,

    Very complex situation.

    I was seeing a girl for 3 months and we broke up. Now, 4 months later, we have started seeing each other again.

    This girl initially chased me down and asked me out and showed immense interest, she is an HB 10 and a lot of fun to hang out with.

    The reason we broke up was because she didn't want to have sex with me but before she was seeing me she was very promiscuous, she used to talk about her past sexual experiences in front of me which made me feel like crap because I wasn't getting any. Another thing that bugged me is that she hated me talking about anything sexual while she found it perfectly ok acceptable for her to do it.

    Anyhow, she explained to me the reason she didn't want to have sex was because she was sexually abused by family members when she was a child. She said that her past lovers didn't mean as much to her as I did but it was really hard for her to go there with me because it feels unnatural for her to have sex with someone who she really feels emotionally attached to.

    I ran into her at a party a few weeks ago and we ended up kissing at the end of the night, she walked me to my car and kissed me and held me tight. I initiated contact with her after that and suggested we catch up. I went to her house and she cooked me dinner and then went for a long walk....this is when she told me she is definite that she wants to try sex with a woman and that her best friend (gay) wants to sleep with her. I reacted totally shocked and when she asked me why I said it was because I was still emotionally attached to her and I hadn't been with anyone since her, she started crying and said she hadn't been with anyone else either and she wishes she hadn't told me what she did.

    Since then, I've been on this site learning texting tricks and just general flirting and things have been going well (although we haven't slept together and I'm not intending on initiating that unless she's comfortable) but her comment has been haunting me. I'm concerned that in her confused state she may actually sleep with a woman and I may loose her all together. I know there are guys out there who might think this is great or that I should suggest a threesome but I know for sure she wouldn't react well to that.

    How should I deal with this situation? Should I just ignore her comment and continue seeing her and see what happens? It freaks me out to think she might have sex with a woman while I"m with her, in which case I'd feel totally ripped off by being the 'nice guy' hanging around for her. Yet, if I bring it up in conversation I feel it would totally ruin the vibe because I'm clearly not cool with it. It wasn't a passing comment, it was something she'd really thought about. Also, because there is no guarantee we'll have sex, should I continue seeing other people? She wouldn't be cool with this, it's something I'd have to do on the sly.

  2. #2
    thespikez is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: need expert help with a very complex girl! anyone want to help?!

    If you really like her... you should tell her how you feel about her sleeping with another girl.Or if you dont want to wait for her to come around and have sex with you,move on.

  3. #3
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    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: need expert help with a very complex girl! anyone want to help?!

    I'm usually not a fan of just telling em how you feel but I'm not sure if you have any other options

    Take her on a really romantic date, something fun, like a small airplane ride or out kayaking or whatever you do where you are
    Have a nice dinner prepped so when you get back you finish cooking it, wine and candles, etc
    Tell her you know what she's dealing with but you wanna give it a shot or give it a try. It will be easier for her to accept if she sees you saying you understand it's not easy

    Hope this works cuz I could be way off
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  4. #4
    markrichards is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: need expert help with a very complex girl! anyone want to help?!

    Thanks guys.

    Well, I took you're advice, kept things flirty and invited her out for Saturday night to go do something fun....we've been planning it for over a week.

    So she messages me a couple of days ago to say that she can't make it out because she doesn't have transport so I replied saying that if she provided the movies and snacks I'd come to her, she laughed and agreed and have been mucking around texting each other.
    Just today she messages with some lame excuse why I can't come over with no mention of rescheduling the date, so I really feel like I've been blown off. There could be many reasons but I'm wondering if it's because her friend saw me out drinking and having fun the other night with a group of friends. She's the jealous type, maybe this set her off, who knows.

    Anyway, I messaged her back jokingly to ask if she was seeing a girl (the one she'd mentioned when we last hung out) I'm yet to receive a reply. I'm glad I sent it because if she doesn't answer then I know it's the case or if she does and she tells me that she is, at least I'll know and can move on.

    Man it's hard loving these damaged types, you try everything and they still push you away. In the end you feel just as damaged as they are.

    I'm not going to push things but I really wish I knew why she wants to push me away.

    Any advice on how to proceed from here? It's impossible to talk to her when I can't even meet up to see her.


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