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  1. #1
    Steve31 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Having success, but AFC thinking persists...

    Before starting this journey I had extremely low confidence and self esteem. This obviously made me bad with girls. For a couple of weeks I have been reading NLP books, that has really helped with my confidence and self Esteem in my everyday life. However in the field my AFC thinking is always in the back of my mind and it wont go away.
    Some Examples:

    I was at this concert and there were two HB in front of me. Now i am defiantly a lot more attractive than i give myself credit for. Anyway, i thought the HB's were checking me out, they kept looking over to me.

    It feels like the confident part and the unconfident part of me do battle. Half of me was thinking "those girls are def. checking me out make a move" and the AFC thinks "oh there just looking around or they only are looking at me bc i look at them first"

    So shortly after this they started dancing really close to me and somewhat bumping into me. the confident self thouight "theyre def. giving you opening to dance with them"...the AFC said "there's no room here its like a mash pit they're bumping into me bc there's no room"
    Anyway, i eventually grabbed her and danced with her, but the AFC kept thinking that she didnt want me to dance with her for some reason even though she was dancing back.

    So unfortunately bc the conflicted thoughts I was having, while i was dancing with her, i was not doing it aggressively enough, and obv girls like someone who can take charge and take the lead. so after the song or two she went somewhere else.

    I cant get the AFC thinking out of my head and it is def. holding me back!!

    It def. effects me if i number close too. At first i am cocky funny and interesting, then when it gets a little more serious, i get nervous and needy...

    Any advice to get the AFC out or with more experience does the AFC naturally fade away?

  2. #2
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Having success, but AFC thinking persists...

    I dont know how to fix this, cuz I deal with it all the time too. All I can say is it gets easier with practice and recognizing that dynamic while you're there is a very big step
    I think you got what you need, just remind yourself while you're in the field that you know better. Success breeds success tho, it will come
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval

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