Hey fellas. I'm a noob and still consider myself an AFC. I've been separated and living on my own for about 4 months now and I've closed with a few women, all I met online.
Right now I have a few girls in my life, all single mothers by the way. It's funny cuz they're all 30 years old. I'm 33. The one girl in particular I want to focus on is, I'll call her Amanda. She winked at me through Match.com. We eventually started texting. And the texting became very frequent. We met a few days later, and it went ok, but we both made it clear that we were looking for different things. She is ready for a relationship and I told her I wasn't having just becoming single after a 9 year relationship. I told her I was just looking to make friends and keep things casual.
So after the date I thought that that was it. She texted me later that she was sorry if she was too harsh in telling me what she wanted. I didn't respond for several hours. I eventually sent her a wink smiley face. And she sent me a pic of her in a bikini, and said maybe she'll let me waste her time or she can waste my time. So from there we just continued texting. We would see each other every so often. We'd go run together sometimes. She's a single mom so her time was limited but I really went out of my way to spend time with her because she lives about half an hr from me. The third week in of pretty steady texting and seeing each other, she asked me again what I was doing with her. And I re-affirmed that I was just looking for friends. And she said that that is why she has refrained from physical contact.
Even though I had try to get a kiss out of her and we actually did kiss at my request a time or two. Nothing heavy. Though she did give me pecks of my neck and let me hold her with my hands on her waist. There was definitely some sexual tension. Well, the big day was on a Saturday(3 weeks in), I had my son with me that weekend and I ended meeting up with her and her twin boys. We spent the day together with the boys. We had a great time. We ended going back to her apartment. We started having some wine while the boys played video games. Eventually we put the boys to sleep and she lured me into her bedroom and we played around a little while. She jumped on top of me.
I forget what we were talking about but we were being very playful. We eventually slept together though it took a while because she actually backed off of me and I had to re-engage her. Well long story short, I was really getting into this girl emotionally. We had a great time, had a lot of laughs, a lot of physical intimacy that night with the kissing, holding, etc. While we were lying in bed afterwards she actually said that she was ok, and that she thinks we will be able to handle just being friends. Because up to that point, she told me she didn't want to get physical without a commitment.
But I was getting caught up emotionally with her big time and that's not what I wanted to hear. So, a couple days later, I approached her and asked her where she thought we stood, and she said that we are just friends. And I told her cool, but if she wanted to make this exclusive, that that is something I'd be willing to explore with her. And that's really what I thought I wanted. She hesitated, though she didn't say no. But I took her hesitation as rejection and I pulled away for a couple of days without texting. She got upset about that and we met in person to talk about it and things seemed to get back on track for a little while, but they quickly deteriorated. She was losing interest. And it got the point where I froze her out for over a week. No texts. Nothing. She texted after 8 days saying that she thought about me while watching a movie with an actor I liked. I just responded "oh yea? lol. i like that movie."
And that was it. She made a comment under one of my FB statuses, and I would make a comment here and there on one her FB status. It was also obvious through my FB updates and check-ins that I was out living my life, having fun, and going out. Even though I did think about her a lot. We actually started texting again a couple of days ago. Her interest seems to be coming back. She lost a few pounds a sent me a pic with her in her panties showing me the weight she lost. This was just yesterday. I told her that it's too bad we don't see each any more because I've been working out too lol. She responded "We will". I also told her that she's wearing too much clothes in those pics. She responded, "silly man". So as her interest seems to be coming back, I definitely want to play it right this time.
I know I gave away my hand to her and that is why she lost interest. I made myself way too available to her. I was no longer a challenge to her. I let myself get caught up with her emotionally by texting too much and just thinking about her too much. I need to keep pursuing other women and not get "oneitis". Like I said this all new to me. I'm only a few months in, and I'm learning by my mistakes. I appreciate any suggestions and advice you have for me.