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  1. #1
    DiscBand is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Hookup/relationship differences...

    Are there any aspects of pickup that can hurt chances of getting into a long-term relationship?

    I have no problems hooking up, or having FWB relationships, but only recently (last 6 months or so) I've been interested in a long-term relationship. So far I've found two girls I'm interested in dating long-term (at different times).. The first one I saw for a couple weeks before she started ignoring/avoiding me and dating some other guy. No biggie. The second one I saw for a month or so, after which she brought up 'the talk' and had decided she couldn't handle a relationship anymore. I told her that was ok, but we'd just be friends and if she changed her mind we could see each other again (Mostly just because I couldn't be f'd dealing with that shit at the time). She literally begged me to keep seeing her until she decided what she wanted.. And then two days later started exclusively dating some other guy.

    The main problem I have with these is that in both cases, mutual friends have come to me later and told me that the guys these girls chose over me were less attractive in every way and had no game.. And both are 'really nice'.

    So that's the backstory. To elaborate on the question, is there some part of game that is completely different when it comes to finding long-term material girls? Or is it just a matter of first-in sometimes?

  2. #2
    Blistex is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Hookup/relationship differences...

    I'm no PUA but I do know a thing or two about women, I just lack in the area of attracting them. I would say honesty is key. If you want to have a casual relationship with her, and there is no specifications from her as to what the sex actually is, then let her know you are only doing casual relationships right now. If you want something more meaningful with her, once it gets to the point of you guys being exclusive with each other, you need to let her know about your pick up activities. Let her know that you study the pick up arts, and assure her that she is the only one you are interested in. If she later finds out you studied this stuff, she is going to feel tricked into being with you and it will back fire for sure. I wouldn't be cool about it either, I would lead her into a serious discussion about the kinds of things you both want out of the relationship and get her into a happy state of mind, then drop the bomb as she may be so into you she is willing to accept it.

    The key thing to remember is that picking up women is completely different then trying to be in a relationship with one. The dynamics are a lot different. You just have to pull this off so that she doesn't feel used, or tricked or betrayed in any way.

  3. #3
    DiscBand is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Hookup/relationship differences...

    Thanks. I'll keep that in mind -- If I start seeing a girl exclusively I tend to drop most of the PUA stuff. But it's something to keep in mind


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