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  1. #1
    Infamous_Jeevz is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Exclamation Getting the attraction back, HELP!!!

    Hey there guys,


    I'm going to give you the condensed version of this problem I seem to have whenever I meet and hook up with women....Sustaining the attraction...

    To anyone who wants to get a better handle on my situation, please go to the introductions page and find my ID: Infamous_Jeevz

    Basically I'm having difficulty with sustaining attraction and keeping things new! I've been seeing this cute girl from my uni days recently and everything was fine till she proclaimed that she needed to get over her last BF (it was a 1.5 year relationship that ended about the same time we started dating).

    I managed to f-close on the same night of the date and whenever we'd talk , text or hangout the attraction was pretty palpable i.e heavy teasing, banter and deep convo's, cooking for each other etc. This casual thing looked like it was going somewhere. However eversince this new found need to 'get over the ex', sex has been cut back...OUCH!!

    For everyones benefit, I'll give you the bottom line:

    • We've both admitted to liking eachother alot, post sex i.e she tells her closest friends about me and some of her family...


    • She wants me around but resists physical intimacy...


    • She wants to get to know me but she's distracted and indifferent towards me..


    • Whenever a hangout is suggested, there's resistance/excuses...


    • Whenever I tease her about talking to other women, she gets riled up....
    • We both have social lives but she wont make any time for us...
    • Potentially fun or interesting hook conversations get cut short (no attempt on her part to go beyond the superficial)
    • Random calls at odd hours from her
    • "I'm being such a bitch to you, I'm so sorry"....WTF?!

    I feel that the attraction has all but simmered off and I'm not sure she cares enough to see where this relationship could go...

    There's a hint that she wants me to pursue her, but since I've told her I actually liked her I believe that that pursuit has just gotten harder!

    Is there a way to get the attraction back and further sustain it here??

    Is there a mentality I need to adopt which eliminates the chance of being blown out the moment you show your feelings to a girl when in a relationship?



    ~ Infamous_Jeevz ~

  2. #2
    Infamous_Jeevz is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Getting the attraction back, HELP!!!

    Btw this has happened with more than one woman for different reasons, but I find myself at the point where I need to reassess and re-evaluate myself after the attraction burns out...

  3. #3
    Iamtheattack is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Getting the attraction back, HELP!!!

    She's just playing hard to get. Don't play her game. Don't chase her!

    Make her come to you.

    Once she comes to you just slowly escalate things but make sure to apply kino. Handtouching, Wrapping your arms around her, playing with her hair, will do good in the beginning. Do that until she feels more comfortable with you.

    When she gets comfortable turn up the heat and do it more often and eventually go for the kiss.

    I'm no expert but I think this should help you.

    -Mike

  4. #4
    Infamous_Jeevz is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Getting the attraction back, HELP!!!

    Thanks dude!!

    Its good to finally get some perspective on this situation as it's onw of those situations where you're stuck between 'should I' or 'shouldn't I'...

    I've stopped answering her last couple of calls and literally just been busying myself with other things. I'm gonna call her tonight (on my own terms) so as to keep her in the loop but cut the conversations short... Should I elicit a hangout, I'am definatley leading with escalating kino and get her going

    I'm just wondering though, seeing as this is a common problem, is there material on how to pass her shit tests everytime?? ESPECIALLY this one as its definatley starting to look, sound and feel like one...



    ~ Infamous_Jeevz ~

  5. #5
    Iamtheattack is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Getting the attraction back, HELP!!!

    Sorry, I have been partying for two days straight and finally just got on.

    Anyways, about the hanging out thing. Hangout with her when you want too! Me I don't always hangout with girls. I do what I want! That's DHV and will get her to eventually just hangout with you. Best time to hangout with her would be when your bored.

    About her tests... I need to know at least one example that averages all the other ones to answer this one.

    I hope you're doing good so far. Because mines have been going awesome!

    Good luck.

    -Mike

  6. #6
    Infamous_Jeevz is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Getting the attraction back, HELP!!!

    Hey there Mike!

    Happy New Year and I hope you rung in 2012 in true form!

    Thanks for all the feedback so far, I've been focussing more on me and getting my career and hobbies on, hanging out with my friends and had an awesome New Years eve as well as talking to a hot little number on the coast.

    So far, an example of her tests went like this....

    I go to hangout with her on the fly as I need to meet some mates of mine in London later in the evening. We're getting food from the local market and there's alot of contact going on as I slowly escalate kino-wise. That is until, she mentions that she's in touch with her Ex, he's been ringing her more frequently and now he's visiting (know matter which way you put it, he's clearly sniffing around). On that note, the closeness fizzled out for me and reacted by taking away my attention.

    Her: There's something I got to tell you, I've been in contact with my Ex and he seems to be ringing me alot these days

    Me: I had a feeling he was... Well I know where I stand now (in a cocky way)...

    Her: What does that mean you're gonna start seeing other women now?! (half smiling, half worried)

    Me: maybe (cheeky smile)

    From here she seemed to be talking more so as to get words out of me and chasing. My other friend cancelled and I ended up spending the evening chilling at hers but my respect and attention for her had gone (seeing as she likes shooting herself in the foot) and as such I froze her out the day after... NOW she's calling every other day, to which I've been putting time constraints on the calls, asking me to come over because she's 'bored' and making it a point of saying these two things;

    ~ Are you my friend?

    ~ Something Ex related - The latest is now he's reading my texts between me and her.


    I see an oppurtunity to bust down these barriers but I cant seem to put my finger on it...

    ~ Infamous_Jeevz~

  7. #7
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    chet25 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Getting the attraction back, HELP!!!

    One of the biggest turn ons in a woman is that your own life has more value to You than hers. You have to put yourself first. A woman will never respect you if you put her life in front of yours. Some will say be unresponsive, but to me that is dumb. You have to be responsive in a non-negative way. Basically, like it does not matter to you and don't be afraid to drop her. Your not married to this girl. Be a man...








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