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  1. #1
    martini17 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Did I come on too strong? next move?

    Not sure if I've pushed her too fast so I'm seeking for some advice on what to do next.

    Backstory: I've known this girl for a little over a year but just recently started something romantic with her. Been texting back and forth for about a month and asked her over for dinner. She flaked the first time but showed up the second.

    12/19/2011 - First "Date"

    She arrived around 7 in a cute short dress and high heeled boots with a bottle of chianti. I gave her a quick kiss at the door and then led her up the stairs. I was wearing a Santa hat and gave her a pair of antlers which she kept on until the movie started. Poured a glass a wine for both of us and we talked as I finished cooking.

    We moved to the living room where we ate and watched a classic Disney movie (no she isn't 13, it just allowed us to chat since both of us had seen it before). Mostly talked during the movie and steadily increased kino and started making out. I broke off the kissing every time with each make-out session lasting a bit longer than the last time.

    The movie concluded and she said she had to work tommorow but I convinced her to stay a bit and check out an old embarrassing video of me downstairs on my computer. She lied facedown on the bed and watched the video and after it finished I rolled her over and we began making out heavily. We dry-humped (lame i know), she opened her legs to let me rub her crotch (seriously wet) and I sucked on her tits (good size and shape for a small girl). During all this she kept saying she needed to go home and didn't put out on the first date so eventually she got up to leave and gathered her things, including the antlers.

    At the door I pushed her against the wall and we made out some more. Things started escalating again as she lifted up her leg and let me start fingering her before stoping me then basically running out the door and saying that she would text me the next day.

    12/20/2011 - "Day after"

    I didn't get any text but I got a alert from facebook telling me she tagged me in a photo. This wasn't a recent pic, it was a trip we took with some friends over a year ago. I called her later that night, no answer, so I left a msg saying, "I had fun last night, fly safe tommorow, dueces." Also texted right after calling, "I want my antlers back! Check VM" She never txted/called back.

    12/21/2011 - What to do now?

    She's on the plane atm so I'm trying to figure out what's my next move. I feel I was too aggressive and I pushed her past her comfort zone. Also I acted needy while trying fclose (telling her I liked her, trying to convince her to stay the night and all that other afc shit, I lost my focus on the game once my dick became involved).

    I'm thinking I'll give her space to hang out with her friends and family on vacation and hit her up when she gets back middle of January. Her birthday is in a couple weeks though, should I send her a birthday greeting? Or did I fuck it up... let me know what you think.

  2. #2
    Blistex is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Did I come on too strong? next move?

    Give her some time, yea ya came on strong, yea she liked you, but I see this as some sort of buyer's remorse. I think the guys on here can give ya some ideas on what to do, all I know is give her some time, go on about your life, wait a month or so then just text her something like:

    "I was thinking of you today. I saw this girl running away from me down the street at full speed away from me, and it reminded me of you."

  3. #3
    martini17 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Did I come on too strong? next move?

    Good call on the buyer's remorse Blistex. Seems to match. I'll give her some time.

    I'm also still open to suggestions if anyone else has an opinion on this situation.

  4. #4
    Raven is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Did I come on too strong? next move?

    Yeah, I would say your problem is you came off as too needy. She did not reciprocate anything. You basically pleasured her a bit, but did you even get anything to you in return? No. That's beta, man.

    I think you seemed funny and cool at the beginning, but watching a Disney movie is just gay. Mind you, I am not bashing you, and really hope you aren't taking this personally, I am just criticizing your actions to help you see the flaws. Anyway, there's multiple reasons putting on a Disney movie was a bad idea. It's just weird. When a girl comes over my house, I put in a movie I would actually watch. She knows you don't actually watch Disney movies (and if you do... you probably come off as real beta), so the only reason you could be putting in a Disney movie is to make her happy. It's also kind of hard to escalate things with a girl when movies that remind her of childhood and innocence are on.

    When I read the part where you said you told her you liked her and tried to convince her to stay the night, I wanted to bang my head against the wall. That is so beta. She probably won't call you back. You need to learn to control your emotions. I'm lucky, as an INTJ type personality I hardly have any emotions to begin with, but you normal people need to learn to keep it all in check, or else you're just going to ruin yourself continually. NEVER tell a girl you like her, especially not first. Never tell a girl what you think of her, just occasionally show it through actions.

    I think you did fark it up and you won't hear from her again. Give her space and make her reinitiate contact, then stay alpha from there. If she never makes contact again, which I think is likely, then don't bother. You supplicated your way into the friendzone. Anyway, focus on what you did right. The santa hat, the antlers, etc - that was good stuff. Save those ideas, they were cool. Just ditch the Disney, telling girls your feelings (ugh) or the supplicating.


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