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  1. #1
    grayfox555 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Possible Long Distance Relationship Advice

    I'll try to keep this as simple as possible; me being who I am means that this will be far from simple and short.

    This girl and I have been friends for a couple years now, we've both shown interest in each though I haven't acted on it until recently.

    We keep in contact frequently, text, chat, or the occasional phone call.

    We both are freshmen in different colleges, roughly 3 hours away from each other.

    Over Thanksgiving break we went out to a movie, which didn't go as I had hoped because several of our mutual friends ended up seeing the same movie, and sat directly behind us. It didn't go badly, but definitely didn't have the 'date' atmosphere to it.
    We both agreed we needed to meet up more of Christmas break; and we have. We were planning on going neon bowling(we live in a small town, there really isn't that much to do here) tonight, but something came up with some family of hers who came into town, so she suggested we go to lunch today instead.

    Lunch went extremely well, Hour-and-a-half to hour-and-45minutes of steady conversation. Flirting now and then, etc. Plenty of eye contact and laughter... She definitely dressed nicely, classy earrings(she does not usually wear any jewelry), very nice low cut top; showing off what cleavage she has, with a nice skirt.

    She gave me a couple compliments, I gave her a few. Overall a great date in my books.

    Less than 40 minutes after we left, she sent me a message(relating to part of our conversation). Blah blah blah, conversation goes on a bit, and we decide to go out next Monday or Tuesday.(I know it would have been better to wait, but being on Christmas break and having a job we both have limited time)

    We didn't decide on a place, probably going to be dinner or a movie, or both for that matter. I said we can work out the details over the weekend.


    I know I want to go steady with her, I've just never had experience with a long distance relationship before. How exactly should I ask her?

    Neither her nor I have a large amount of relationship experience period to be honest.

    As far as how often we could see each other, I have a car but her college does not allow freshmen to have vehicles on campus. So we would only be able to see other 1-2 weekends a month. 1 for sure, and if I have enough money I could drive up a 2nd weekend. It would just depend on the specific month as to whether I could afford the 2nd visit or not.



    So how should I go about asking her to go steady? And Which date would be easiest?(dinner/movie/dinner+movie)

    Thank you for any help you can provide.

  2. #2
    Immortal Technique is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Possible Long Distance Relationship Advice

    Personally I wouldn't jump into a long distance relationship, they always suck. You should frame what you have now and try to keep it that way. FWB. Speaking from experience long distance relationships are never good. Trust issues, loneliness, lack of intimacy, very limited time together, and expense of going to see her, gas prices are a bitch and my car gets 40mpg city. I would just stay in an open relationship, but if you are really that into her you should check to see how that school is in regards to your major and cost, then see about transferring to her school. I've been in multiple long distance relationships, across state, country, and one just under 30miles away and still had the same problems as the others. A lot of times people are blinded by emotion, but sometimes a friend can access your world better from the outside looking in. But then again I'm not you and can't decide for you. But I say keep an open relationship.
    *Dance With The Devil*
    Remember That You're Not On My Level

  3. #3
    grayfox555 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Possible Long Distance Relationship Advice

    How is 30 miles considered a long distance relationship for you? I used to have to drive that daily.

    Also, obviously I know the challenges of a long distance relationship. That isn't what I'm asking about. I'm asking if I should go about asking her to be my girlfriend in any different way because it would be starting out as a long distance relationship.

    Yes, gas prices are a bitch. Hence why I am only able to drive to her college(assuming I don't take other people with me for gas money) one weekend a month. I have a 14mpg City vehicle. I really don't care about the gas, I'll have enough spending money for 1 maybe 2 trips a month.

    My school would be the only school in the state with my major and either way, 2.5-3 hours is not that long of a distance.


    Trust would be the major issue with most long distance relationships I'm guessing. Well, she is a virgin and doesn't want to have sex until marriage, which I respect. So I'm not worried about her. Also, I have plenty of male friends at her school that would let me know IF she did anything. And She completely trusts me; of that I'm certain. Both she and her bestfriend have confirmed that numerous times.

  4. #4
    Immortal Technique is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Possible Long Distance Relationship Advice

    When you're not living in the same town without a car it's a pretty long ways, and you don't have to have sex with another person for it do be cheating. Kissing someone else when you're in a relationship is crossing the line. But still It might be fun for a while but eventually you or her, maybe both are going to realize that you could have a relationship with a lot more potential if you were with someone that lived closer. All I'm saying is that It may be best to keep an open relationship. A lot of people don't take the time to think how their decisions are going to affect them, so shouldn't just act out of emotions. I understand what it's like I've had long distance relationships, and it's great to say "yes this person is mine and I am hers" but you never really stop to think how it could affect you negatively, and I'm guessing you aren't able to see those because your emotions are getting in the way. Why else would you be asking for other peoples advice on whether you should be with her? You're not asking what kind of a date you should go on, or what how should I talk to her about to get her attracted. You're asking should I be with her, and I'm giving you my answer. It's just not worth the effort when there are a lot of girls closer to you. I know they are not the same as her and she is unique, but you could take a chance and find someone you my like even more or someone better suited for you. That you don't have to drive 3 hours to see, and that you could see as often as you want. But again I'm not you and can't decide for you, ultimately you are the only one that can make this decision, but if you do I don't want to see you posting in the How To Get Your Ex Back, cuz you're just gonna get a big I told you so, but in all caps. I may seem kinda harsh and blunt, but I wish I had someone to tell me to think things through like this before I went into my long distance relationships.
    *Dance With The Devil*
    Remember That You're Not On My Level

  5. #5
    Immortal Technique is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Possible Long Distance Relationship Advice

    And btw, Dinner and movie dates are horrible. Especially the movie because you can't have a conversation, you should save those type of dates for later on in a relationship. They're just too cliche, you gotta be creative. Most guys don't realize this but even if you are just "hanging out" she is still analyzing you and your potential, even if it isn't a "date". Just break away from the norms you don't have to spend money during the date for it to be fun. Try doing something where you enjoy the outdoors, walk and talk in a park, watch the stars at night, have a picnic. Maybe even take the time to get to know her friends and incorporate your friends with hers with a group activity. Take her dancing or to see a local band. Plan out an adventure together with a treasure map that needs decoding and a hidden surprise for her. Dude take her to a build a bear workshop chicks dig that. Go to a mall and put on a mini fashion show at a clothing store.
    *Dance With The Devil*
    Remember That You're Not On My Level


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