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  1. #1
    marmel75 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Red face Where do I go from here? Need some advice...

    OK, I need some help with a girl I am working on, moreso of advice and where to go from the point I am at. Some basic background:

    I am a manager at a store where we frequently see the same customers on a semi-weekly basis. Girl that is around an 8.5 comes in, I start hitting her with a bunch of neg stuff, etc and she is smiling and laughing, good eye contact etc...she ends up getting a living room, which myself and another guy end up delivering. Its a total pain in the ass getting this thing up into her apartment, etc. So I am negging her the whole time about how much I dislike her right now and how she has no friends and one of her kids started crying and I told him "I would be crying too if I had to be around her all day", and she started busting up laughing, etc...

    so anyways, we get the living room in and are sitting down talking to her, and my buddy starts talking about going out and ends up inviting her out with us the next time we go out. She completely ignores answering him and turns to me and says "Are you going to be there?" to which I responded I didn't know and that if she was planning on coming probably not...although it would be fun to make fun of you all night, and she was like "I was thinking the same thing about you!" I had to call the store and she had the radio playing a little too loud, and I said "Miss, can't you see I'm on the phone, could you turn that down a little bit" in a playful demanding type of way, and she laughed and was like "You can go into the kitchen" and I responded "that's where you belong, not me", and she laughed and said "fark you!", to which I responded "I have a strict 3 date policy, and I expect to be wined and dined on the 3rd date or you are not getting any" and she cracked up laughing.

    So we end up leaving, and a few days go by. Saturday(new years eve) comes and my buddy ends up talking to her and invites her out. She tells him she isn't sure exactly what she is doing, but to call her back and let her know where we are going later on before we leave. So I get back in the store and end up texting her about how we are going to such and such a place and that I know it will be difficult for her to dress appropriately, but to do her best(I basically used a tactic from my sales background called an assumptive close...I just talked to her as if I assumed she was coming along). She responded with "who is this???" and I told her its no fun if I tell her and to take a guess. So texts back, "Is it (my buddy)?" And I told her nope, and then she texts back "Is it his butt headed friend?" :>" and I told her right person, wrong description, to which she says, I think its a perfectly good description, jk. So then I am messing with her about her claws being out, etc and she is lol'ing and lmao! ing and was finally like "Well are you picking me up?" and I texted her back that I wasn't planning on it because she is kinda heavy and I have to work out the next day so am trying to save my strength(she isn't fat). And she was like "Oh you got jokes!! But seriously are you going to pick me up?" and I told her I guess I could because I am driving right by her street to get to where I am going(true since I live a few miles up the same street), but that she needed to meet a few conditions:

    1) Keep your hands to yourself while I am driving
    2) I am not paying for her to get in(didn't want to end up getting there and her expecting me to pay)
    3) She would buy me a drink once we got there

    Then she texts back OK, well I got a few conditions too:
    1) I always behave myself I am a GOOD GIRL! :>
    2) You invited me out so you need to pay my way in
    3) I will think about buying you a drink if you behave yourself
    That sounds like a pretty good deal to me :>

    I recognized it was likely a sh1t test to see if I would cave so I told her that technically I didn't invite her out, my buddy did and that I was just giving her the chance to take advantage of a good opportunity...

    Then she texts back: I was just kidding about you paying silly! I have my own money...and I will buy you a drink for coming to get me. Then she says if she decides to go she can only stay a few hours cause she has to be somewhere at 6:30am the next morning(wasn't concerned about that since I knew once I got her out she was basically stuck).

    So I text her back: You girls and your silly little games, be ready by 10:30 cause it will be crowded.

    Never heard back from her, didn't text her back, went out and had fun.

    Yesterday she comes in to make a payment and I am the only one in the store(sucked because I kept getting interrupted while talking to her by the phone ringing and other customers coming in, so out of the 10 mins she was there I talked to her for maybe like 3). Didn't mention anything about Saturday and I didn't bring it up either, but I noticed out of the corner of my eye that even when I was talking on the phone or dealing with other customers at the counter she never took her eyes off me and was smiling and giggling the whole time. Then out of the blue she tells me how excited she is her fiancee is going to be home in 11 months(in jail right now, and I know she is getting it in with someone, I am trying to be one of them), and I smiled and told her that is great she has someone else to think about besides me, to which she started laughing again and then another time out of the blue she said "I always get what I want" in response to something I said, but I started answering the phone and couldn't really respond to it, so I let that one go.

    Then I get a phone call where someone hung up and I kept saying "hello, hello", and she was like "You guys get hang up calls?" and I was like "all the time, probably 10 a day", and she said "Its probably only when you answer because you have a secret admirer out there and they keep hanging up when you answer becasue they don't want you to know who it is....they could be outside watching us right now..." I laughed and told her she should really have waited to tell me that on Valentine's day when she sends me a card, a box of chocolates and roses and she started cracking up and was like "Yeah, you wish..."

    So then she says, I have to go, but you can bring my pillows(we had to order new pillows for her couch) tomorrow. And I told her I couldn't bring anything to her tomorrow because I was off. Then she says "Well, then you can come over Friday" and I told her I would make sure I sent someone else on Friday, and she says "Oh come on, you know you want to come see me."

    Sorry about all the background, but I wanted to give enough info so people could offer opinions on what my next move should be and not get lots of questions about what happened, etc. Basically my take is that she is definitely interested on some level, but that she is still tossing sh1t tests at me to see how I will respond and to see if I am going to keep chasing her. I also think she may have not been comfortable enough to go out alone with me, since I really have not built any type of rapport with her. I want to basically reverse that and have her chasing me I know, but here are some issues:

    1) I don't see her on a regular basis...probably once every 2 weeks and don't really have a reason to call her either without her obviously knowing why and make me look like I am doing the chasing.

    2) I cannot really get into the more sexual humor to help escalate while I am on the clock at work or I risk losing my job. I am probably already pushing the boundary of what I can do without getting in trouble if it was found out. I need to be around her while I am off work or get her out to do this.

    So I have 2 options on Friday:

    Either I go and am going to get a chance to be alone with her to talk without having interruptions and other people around, but then I think that makes me look like I really want her attention because any of 4 people in the store could go, or second when she calls up I send someone else, I say something like "I guess you don't always get what you want after all, you are just going to have to work a little harder for me" or something like that.

    I was considering going and work on building some rapport with her, since basically all I have done is bust on her and tell her she wants me with my comments back to her, and maybe only bust on her a few times and work on the rapport aspect...Also there is a pretty big discrepancy in age as she is 22 and I am 36, but I don't see that as being an issue and she has never brought it up either.

    Advice on how I can escalate this without putting myself at risk job wise, and what angle I should take(go over and get a chance to work alone but also seem a little desperate perhaps or send someone else and make myself more unavailable or busy).

    Just really interested in what advice I will get and any constructive criticism so far...

    I feel pretty confident in getting the girls attracted initially but then I struggle to get to the next level, so a good way to do this would be appreciated as well...I am naturally pretty funny and get people to laugh and I think pretty quick on my feet so I am wel suited to responding to stuff from girls...
    Last edited by marmel75; 01-04-2012 at 03:42 PM.

  2. #2
    Bradders's Avatar
    Bradders is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Where do I go from here? Need some advice...

    well that is a wall of text and i must admit i skimmed, lol but heres what i can offer from what i could pick off the hypnotic screen of words...

    1: neg's or negging iisnt flirting. what you were describing is flirting, not negging. a neg should only be done afew times tob ring a attractive girl down, to make her think you dont take sh1t. you were being playful.(cant remmeber teh term off the top of my head right now) but even so dont get them confused, becasue negging isnt flirting and women cna get insulted easy. but lucky for you you flirted in a playful way so it wokred out well.(thats just asmall point)
    2: i think you left it too long, dont rely to see her at work becasue then it comes a friend or mild aquaintence thing. rather then apossible hook up, you may have lost your oppertunity there old boy.
    3: rule of thumb for texting, take as long as she took to reply to send your reply.
    4: wait 2-4 days after you get her number to text her, placeing it before a friday or after a sunday, assuming she is free ona weekend is an insult to her social status. get her in the evening and get it sorted, dont text her before the date even playful conversation otherwise it will give her an opertunity to call it off, make the date as soona s possible. if she cant do it, let her give you a date, if she cant, she may be sh1tting you and you should probably just say, ok well maybe some other time and drop it. pick up the texting again later.
    5: i wouldnt ever arrange to meet her for the fisrt time on a night out, certenly not if her friends are there. otherwise your just another friend., your fisrt personal meeting is to be at the day with only her. otherwise therea re too many obsecles.

    not sure whatelse to say becasue i could right alot for this lol but let me know what you you think and i'll add more or correct myself fromt hat
    "It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most
    responsive to change." Charles Darwin


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