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  1. #1
    NKNK is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Unhappy Need some URGENT advice/tips

    Forgive me if this should have posted in the 'texting' section, but i could really do with some expert advice.

    Before the new year i told this girl that I think we should stop talking for a while and take a break (** see below for full story). About 1-2 weeks later, she has started calling and texting me. I have been ignoring most of them, but did answer once and we talked casually for a little while.

    Today she messaged me on Whatsapp (Phone chat): "Hey you ok?". I waited about 10mins before replying: "Yeah good thanks, just on the road right now...i'll text you later".

    Whilst i wasn't actually driving my thoughts at the time were - give myself time to think what to do exactly and also I shouldn't make it too easy for her by engaging in conversation when she wants it (standing my ground on what i told her before new years)

    The thing is, I really do like this girl a lot. What would you guys suggest my next move is?? Did I do the right thing in the first place? Any help or thoughts would be appreciated!!


    -------------------
    ** I have a history with this girl. We have been involved together in the past, but under poor circumstances and bad timing and were never able to make it official. We both have an underlining like for each other and both have told the other so. A mixture of her on going issues and confusion has meant we've been going round in circles for the past year and a half (at least i definitely have). And its reaching a point where Im telling myself enough is enough. Its either I start gaming her properly or I actually walk away (which if I'm honest, I rather still not). Please help..
    -------------------

  2. #2
    Bradders's Avatar
    Bradders is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need some URGENT advice/tips

    Really you should settle with what you want from this girl.
    obviosuly there is some confusion but consider what your working with. do you want a relationship? if so push it meet up try starting ocmpletly a fresh otherwise stop messing about!
    want plain sex? meet up but make it clear you arnt looking for anything serious and then tacfully get her horny while remaining supposedly "nutrel"
    dont want her at all, friend zone it. mention the friend thing all the nice chlechá's about" i respect you as a friend " blah blah. dont let one girl drag you down and stop you from doing anyhting else otherwise everything will get quite bad.

    so to sum up, work out what you want her for before working out how to game her.

    i cant really help you (not sure anyone can) untill we know what you want from her.

    keep me updated, best of luck old boy
    "It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most
    responsive to change." Charles Darwin

  3. #3
    prescriptions is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need some URGENT advice/tips

    Tell her what you want, and exactly what you don't want. If she can't give in to what you want, then you're gonna be going around in circles forever and you have to let her go.

    Stand your ground.

    If you give her an ultimatum let her know exactly how much she means to you and the pain you will go through if you let her go away...but that you're willing to suffer in order that you can stay true to decisions like this that define you as a man.

  4. #4
    NKNK is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need some URGENT advice/tips

    Thanks for the feedback guys! It all makes a lot sense. Bradders - deep down what I want from this girl is a relationship. Unfortunately it isn't quite as simple as me easily pushing to meet up or trying to start fresh (I wish it was).

    Since we broke off, we've both had our fun with other people and at present she's still kind of seeing someone (Albeit a joke of relationship). The thing is we've always been in contact and I tend to leave the majority of contacting down to her (especially phone calls). Often she will tell me:

    - how she misses me
    - how I understand her like no one else
    - how im the perfect guy for her
    - how her friends tell her we're suited
    - and so on..

    All great and my gut feeling tells me that there remains a genuine like and attraction between us. BUT she also seems to hold on to or put up barriers in her mind such as:

    - She's really messed up right now and needs to sort herself out
    - its not the right time
    - our distance & work hours is an issue
    - etc...

    I'm a believer that if you want something bad enough you make it happen. So my conclusion can only be that she doesn't want us bad enough (or yet?).

    I could go on, but fear this post is already getting rather long. I am certain of how I feel but I am confused as to how to proceed or what tactics I can apply. Any further advise would be great!

  5. #5
    Bradders's Avatar
    Bradders is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need some URGENT advice/tips

    if theres one thing iv learnt from relationships(and there hasnt besiten much) is that you dont go back on witha girl you frequently break up with.
    do try to think about your situation, is it that you want her
    or is it that you want her becasue shes an attractive women that wants you(i know its hard to beleive) but that isnt a reason to have a relationship with someone haha.
    im in the same boat, considering na ex becasue of how difficult single life is for us. and how easy it would be to be with her just becasue shes there and willing. but is she best? jsut for abit of sex and companionship? if your heart craves relationships, is it best for it to put it ina situation it only thinks it wants short term, but long term it wont?

    the PUA forums cant tell you what to do in this situation, only offer you the questions you need to ask yourself in order for you to truely make a decision. from my experince on and off Girlfriends will only lead to pain. however scary the single life is for you(i assure you it is for me too) you have to soldier on. if you want to stay with her, then i shall offer advise on that ! but if you dont, (and i woudlnt) i'll help there too. remember,

    we have an upper lip for a reason old boy

    let me know how it goes
    "It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most
    responsive to change." Charles Darwin


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