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  1. #1
    Vladimir88 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Ex Bf is trying to get back into my girls life.

    I've been dating this chick for the past 8-months, and her ex of 2-yrs is trying to get back into her life. They haven't spoke since she went to pick him up at the airport and he never got on the plane 1-yr ago. Now that he found out she moved on and is happy, he come showing up at her work with 4 dozen roses crying to take him back and he made a mistak. He did abandon her, and I've pointed that out to her, so that she realizes he's not dependable.

    She never really got to deal with moving on as he wouldn't return her calls or texts so now she's confused. This all went down just before x-mas so about a month ago. Now he's verbally attacking me and trying to manulipate her into taking him back. She told him I broke up with her as a measure to protect me and my career but I can take care of myself, so that doesn't sit well with me. I'm a professional, so kicking his ass is not an option even though I would love nothing better.

    I know she is still talking to him and did have him over to her place when he showed up. She says she wants to deal with this on her own and for me not to get involved as it will only make matters worse. So, what do I need to do here, give her an ultimatum, some space to deal with it, or just dump her. Funny though, I told her to figure it out and call me when she made a decision and she called 4 times the next day, begging me not to give up on her.

    Some background info, we are both professionals (Both in the Medical field, I'm Rx and she''s an OB.). I'm 36 she is 29. according to the Vin DeCarlo Pandoras box she is a Private Dancer (Tester, Denier, Realist) I do have feelings for her , and I'm having sex with her at least 3 times a week. So I'm looking for advice on how to destory this guy and how to keep her loyal to me. Thanks in advance!!
    Last edited by Vladimir88; 01-25-2012 at 07:27 PM.

  2. #2
    Pierrot's Avatar
    Pierrot is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Ex Bf is trying to get back into my girls life.

    Youre both in your 30s, she should know how to take care of her problems. Give her the space, dont talk about it and just focus on you and her as a sign of trust.

  3. #3
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Ex Bf is trying to get back into my girls life.

    Pierrot is absolutely right, under no circumstances give her an ultimatum or breakup, both are too needy

    Just be cool, make her feel awesome when you're with her, but give her her space when you're not.

    Situation sucks but sometimes you gotta play the cards your dealt
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  4. #4
    Vladimir88 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Ex Bf is trying to get back into my girls life.

    Thanks for the replies. Had dinner with her tonight and just smiled and told her what beautiful features she has. Needless to say, I got one of the best b%^^^^^^ in my life, and then s%% about an hour afterwards. All her coming on to me as i was ready for bed. Hey at least I'm the one banging her so I probably need not let her see it make me in anyway jealous.

  5. #5
    Mobius is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Ex Bf is trying to get back into my girls life.

    That's an interesting situation. You're basically in a competition but you're one step ahead; you already have her. Just keep doing what you're doing and don't be too cocky cause I get that vibe from you (no offense) and you're golden man. You just have to keep what is already yours.

  6. #6
    Vladimir88 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Ex Bf is trying to get back into my girls life.

    I agree about not being cocky, and I have my guard up, and the fact she had him over to her place doesn't sit well. I'm giving her the space she needs. This other guy is sending her flowers and love poems everyday to her work and email.

    She did tell me he's trying to force his point of view on her and won't let her deal with any of her feelings about all that's happened. I did ask her what was up with him and she acted like she was annoyed I was asking her about it, but I feel I have a right to. How long should I put up with this as we've been dating for almost 9-months now. Playing it cool is easier said than done but I understand what you are saying.

    Another thing to the story, he's in Los Angeles and we are in Ohio so that's a prety good distance, but he was crazy enough to get on a plane and show up to her work and send her flowers everyday after she told him several times not to and let her move on.

  7. #7
    Mobius is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Ex Bf is trying to get back into my girls life.

    With the distance being considered, I don't think he really has a chance, unless he recently got layed off and is considering moving if she'll take him. The flowers and poems though can affect her view of you, you can get the whole "I don't like the ex, but you're not romantic enough" thing. I would just play it cool and not worry, Valentines day is coming up, perfect time for you to remind her you're romantic too.

  8. #8
    pickupjade is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Ex Bf is trying to get back into my girls life.

    Hey, I'm new to this forum but I have had some extensive experience with pick up/attracting and maybe I can help you.

    The best thing you can do is to act like these guys are not a big deal. The more you talk about them and bring it up...the better you make their chances.

    If she bring up her ex's..act like it is no problem and no concern. If you start trying to make yourself look better than them and talk them down... you actually improve their chances! Weird but it works.

    I would recommend you use http://www.puaforums.com/pandora/. I love all the info that program teaches.

  9. #9
    Vladimir88 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Ex Bf is trying to get back into my girls life.

    Thanks guys, good advice! I did tell her that I care for her way more than any amount of cheap flowers or please forgive me poems ever could, and that I don't ever want to have to do that stuff b/c I let her down. She seemed to be very touched by that.

    She has mentioned that she finds the strong silent type more romantic then someone who is trying too hard or playing the get out of jail free card. So, that's why I trying my best to play it cool.

    Ohio is cold n grey this time of year and So. Cal is sunny so really I think that's her only attraction from what's she said. But, hey I'm a professional and I can move anywhere and she knows that.

    I have the Pandora's box and her type is months away. I have used some of the stratigies and they've worked. Again, she a Tester, Denier, Realist (Private Dancer,) so any advice on how to handle these chicks is welcomed!!

  10. #10
    Vladimir88 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Ex Bf is trying to get back into my girls life.

    Well I do know he's unemployed and has trouble holding a job at 43-yrs of age. He told her he's shipping his car here and has job interviews set up, and he expects to stay with her. She did show me her phone, I didn't ask, and she hasn't responded to any texts or taken any calls for over a month. I just told her, "If he wants to move here it's no big deal," and if she needs my help if he starts harassing her that I'd be there for her. I did what you guys said and acted like, "So what..."


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