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  1. #1
    PeteRed82 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Possible Orbiter in desperate need of PUA advice!!!

    Hey all,

    I'm new to this forum so please be gentle
    Any advice would be greatly appreciated (& apologies in advance for the length of my post..)
    My situation is that I met this girl on New Years Eve in a club. My friend kiss-closed her friend. She bought me drinks and we ended up dancing. I got her number but didn't get a kiss-close (made a huge newbie mistake and asked if she wanted to kiss). She said she didn't want to right in front of her friend but that it would happen soon.
    Anyway, I texted her soon after and arranged to meet up 2 on 2 (her friend +mine)
    We got on well that night & I got a lot of IOIs.
    The following week brought her out for a meal (alone of course). We talked for about 3 hours and I dropped her home. Again no kiss-close.
    I then invited her over to my place and she accepted. We watched a movie and again talked for a while but she wasn't willing to get close on the couch and yet again no kiss - just a peck on the cheek.
    So I made another error & asked her what her situation was and she said she 'didnt want to make a mess of things' but that she didn't know how things were with her (& she was maybe hung up on a guy she was with before).
    I'm slipping into the LJBF zone here - I got her and her friends out again we went drinking and got on well. I was dancing with another girl (no kissing or touching) and that seemed to make her a little jealous. Anyway still no close because we bundled them into a cab home.
    Anyway, I played it cool and didn't text her and now she's texted me and is looking to make contact & meet up again.
    What should I do? I feel like I'm an 'orbiter' and I want to get out of that situation and see if I can ignite some kind of spark.
    Do you think a club-type atmosphere would help?
    Plus can you recommend some good kino escalation / kiss-close techniques?
    Any advice will be welcome!!!

    Thanks,
    Pete

    PS: She actually mentioned in front of me that guys she knows usually take what they want & dont ask for things. But I don't want to be too forceful. She also mentioned that she trusts me. I guess I'm afraid of rejection too and a small part of me is just enjoying the female company & I'm afraid of losing her altogether!!

  2. #2
    Bradders's Avatar
    Bradders is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Possible Orbiter in desperate need of PUA advice!!!

    WEll welcome my friend, its good to have you here, fisrt things fisrt

    asking if she wants to kiss you isnt anoob mistake, infact the Mystery method use's it as akiss gambit it goes like this

    "shh would you like to kiss me?" maybe/not here/why means yes but becasue of the situtaion it would be awquard and she feels abit too open, simply being abit funw ith it or carrying on as normal you can kiss her later, shes into the idea of it but just scared whatp eople willt hink, iscolate her or make her feel mroe comfortable with you and you'd have been fine
    if she says no say" WO! woman i didnt say you could! it just looked li ke you had something ony our mind!" carry on your game

    dont worry if you dont get a kiss-close on a fisrt meeting, if you get a number that she agree's to meet with you with its better thena kissclsoe 10-times over though you should barein mind if you didnt kissclose on the fisrt 1 on 1 date you've lost it. your now a friend lol

    fromw hat you've described it does sound like your now in friendzone so move on, give it soem time start up, call her on it, invite her out to help you find a girl, making her jealous and see you as a alpha male with DHV may win her back. you see as you invite her out"as friends" and she see's women all over you and you having a good time without her,b ut still involving her(pretending that she is a freind to you tooa nd nothign mroe) she will see you as a potencial mate and a worthy one too.

    -kino is easy, fisrt time(best tip) match your breathing with hers, subconciously she will feel more comfortable with you.
    -make eye contact(not constant break ti occasionaly) doing this will give the impression toher you've lnown her longer then you have
    -hand contact is good, get into "cold reading" like for reading palms so you can stroke her hand saying you will read her palm, be soft gentle make it look like your actaully looking for something but just think of some"cover all bases" reading. touching her hand will make her feel more close to you and give her subconciouse some memories of relationships where the same thing ahs occured ie you now resemble po tencial mate.
    - for ki no in general, after 1 or 2 IOI's start your kino(it is safer for 3 after every level of escelation) but if it seams right it seams right, eventually you'll get intothe habbit
    -kino only works if it isnt noticed. simply tou ching her when you talk, softly squeezing her shoulder when you try to emote with her, pushing her gently when you neg her, ( maybe pulling tor eally confuse her) aslong as she doesnt notice your golden.
    -a good one is feet and legs, when sitting down humans dont generaly notice what happens to their feet unless they conciosuly think about it. when sitting down together brush your leg up on hers or touch her foot withy our sfor a moment.

    want to know how well your doing? lean in,
    leaning it invades her personalspace, do it for any number of reasons, maybe to wave at an imaginary friend passed her, maybe rocking forward to hang your head inshame as ajoke, maybe becasue you';ve laughed any reason when you invade her personal space the key is to look at what SHE does,
    if she steps back - shes not yet trusting you too much
    if she stays where she is - she is not sure what to do
    if she is smiling leans it or smiligna nd stays where she is - thats an IOI old boy and dont waste it!

    my favoriate little way to tell if people are interested int eh fisrt 3 seconds is to shake their hand, asking for names is awaste of time as it can waste an IOI(if they ask your name its an IOI) but asking for their name can be just a signof politeness if it seams its part of your character, so what i do is i dont give them my name but i ask theirs.
    i shake their hand. if they step forward as tehy shake, they are interested in you, if they step back they really arnt, if they stay int he same place they should be assumed uninterested and if you cant break that ice already(you should already have opened at this point) it may be best to leave the grou p withy our Fake time constraint.

    Now for YOUR personal situtaion you be fucked lol your a friend now, do thet hing with the, getting her out to hav ea night out as a friend so she can get jealous thing but back off alittle, try again later, but do try and kiss her to get it in her head, even as afriend on the cheek when you can blame the dri nk would be ok!

    remember these key things for your game
    - confidense is your greatest weapon, no matter what gambits or routtines you use, Confidense i s what pulls it off, frankly if you were just confident you would be far better withw omen then just having a routine. So just be sure of yourself.
    - shes not 1 in 3 billion, there are actually alot of womeno ut there, ones that catch your eye aside their are plenty of females to talk to. dont let one get you down, and dont let one hold you down. if she isnt interested keep her asa friend, theres nothing wrong with th at if you failed to close her a friend is still good, feelings change but she may have friends that are hot you can talk to, and with her as a nice entrance is easy as she can certenly help you.
    -just relax, have fun with all the skills you should pick up, there is plenty to learn, dont be ina rush to succeed.


    fall down 6 times get up 7


    let me know how it goes, best of luck old boy!
    "It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most
    responsive to change." Charles Darwin

  3. #3
    PeteRed82 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Possible Orbiter in desperate need of PUA advice!!!

    Thanks Bradders,
    That's great and detailed advice.
    I'm good at opening but I find it hard to pull the trigger and that's what is weighing me down.
    Yes I think you're right. I may very well be in the friends zone. Funnily enough that dance / sitting with the other girl made her give me a very frosty reception that night so maybe it worked in my favour a little or I'm clutching at straws!
    I'm going to have to try because I can't take any more regrets. One thing I was thinking of trying if I isolate her was saying something like this..

    Me: "You know what's funny"
    Her: (assuming) "What?"
    Me: "When I met you on the first night I wanted to do this.."
    Her: (assuming) "What?"
    Me (*initate trust test - & go in for k-close)

    Do you think that sounds a bit lame?
    Appreciate the advice. You're right. I'm going try this one time and then move on.
    I can ask her out as a friend but she'll have to sit back or be a pivot as I open up sets. (I might even do it on the night if things go against me!?!)
    You're so right about the amount of girls out there. It's rare for me to have a good connection with a girl like that so maybe that's why I'm so stuck.
    Anyway, even if things dont go well its more experience and I'll feel a lot more confident about k-closing next time.
    Cheers,
    RP

  4. #4
    Bradders's Avatar
    Bradders is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Possible Orbiter in desperate need of PUA advice!!!

    well most girls tend not to care. they only care if its obvsioue your wanting to use her. i was out by myself once, 5 girls i only met one of them once by high fiving her on a night out. hugged her on the way out
    not a word or minute more was spent with her
    though she recognised me more then 3 months later. i got her and her friends into the club and the group excepted me after that easily enough. they were letting me talk to her even though i was flirting with others in the group.

    my point was that the best things happen when you dont try.
    you dont need tot hink so much about what might wor or what wont work.
    just be confident - and thats mundane advice with no back up to give i might aswell say "just find someone"

    what i mean is stop careing.
    you ever noticed when you are ina r elationship how many more women seam to be interested in you ? well its becasue you act like you normaly would if you didnt care, nothing to lose if you want.
    when you goo ut with this or any girl. stop thinking and just act as if you had a million other girls waiting for you. that when you go home you'll be getting laid. that it doesnt matter.
    have fun, smile, be yourself, do what you want
    you'll lead the group when you do what you want and get otehrs tod o it to.
    you'll be confdiend when you dont care what others think.
    keep your secrets and you'll have mystery.
    make silly refrences or similarites and you'll be funny.

    kiss when you want, if they dont want it but not too freaked out blame them as a joke, OOPS my mistake as ajoke
    you'll get used to knowing when to kiss and when not to.

    stop worrying about everything
    "It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most
    responsive to change." Charles Darwin


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