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  1. #1
    ButInTh33nd is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Is she just flakey and forgetful?

    Hi,

    So I asked out this girl last Friday,and made plans for this Friday. However, when I checked with her on Monday if we were still on, she forgot we made plans. What I'm wondering is: Can I consider this as her really being this forgetful, or a sign of a lack of interest? (My gut feeling is the latter, but I'd still appreciate some opinions from the community)

    So some details about the situation:

    - We have the same class, which consists of three lectures a week
    - She doesn't much show up for class; only about one lecture a week (The reason why I didn't ask her out earlier was because one thing I look for is a person who knows how to prioritize, and I took her lack of commitment to school as indication of a lack of it. However, her grade on the test was still good, so perhaps she's just smart and doesn't feel she needs to attend lecture?)
    - I have no reason to doubt that she's single, and I don't think she's seeing anyone
    - She hangs around me only in class, though she knows some other people there, and I don't know them
    - She's expressed interest in hanging out with me before for non-date things, though she flakes out, especially when it comes to working out at the gym (I think she's self-conscious, because I know she does yoga with her sister)
    - These past two weeks have been midterm week, so we've both been swamped with school. The planned date night would mark the beginning of reading week, aka mid-semester break.

    Here's where I think I might have gone wrong:

    - Waited too long to ask her out? Maybe I should have gone out with her first before making judgments about whether she's worth my time or not?
    - As I mentioned, she doesn't go to lecture too much, so I send her my lecture notes. Now I don't do this just because it's her; I would help if the friend were a guy or girl, hot or not. For me, school is a higher priority than dating. I keep classmates around for study purposes, and even if she were a worse student than me, explaining material to her would help my own understanding and articulation. However, I'm not sure if by doing so, I unintentionally made myself less of a challenge, or she understands I'm just that kind of person. Outside of this, I make her work for my attention, etc.

    What I'm trying now is freezing her out. I figure if she really forgot, and wants to make it up to me, she'll fight to get my attention again. Otherwise, she won't do anything.

    Anyways, I would appreciate any input I can get. Thanks!

    - C

    Edit: I just found a post from a contributor with some advice I'll try when we talk again: be neutral to her, and say, "I honestly thought you were fun, and I wanted to get to know more about you. If not, let's just be friends". Thanks!
    Last edited by ButInTh33nd; 02-15-2012 at 11:30 AM.

  2. #2
    Grant C is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Is she just flakey and forgetful?

    It sounds like shes flakey. Its not the first time shes done it and with you giving her your notes, she may think shes in control and has you wear she wants you.... someone to keep sweet in class and get notes from.

    It may be a good idea be neutral next time. Have you read any of the threads on DHV? This may help too. In the mean time I wouldnt waist too much time on her theres a whole collage full of girls to game.


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