There is this HB10 in my college to whom I used to walk with from time to time (usually every month, one time we were apart for 3 months). We didn't use to talk much apart from those walks. And every time we walked we would talk for about one hour.
Lately (in the past 4 weeks) we have been getting closer... talking every week the half to one our time (excepting last week).
It is very easy to have an interesting conversation with her and I fear I get caught in the friend zone.
Here is the last conversation we had in full detail:
"Me acompaining HB from university until a spot midway to our homes.
Me: The way your ears come out of your hair is funny. You seem like a monkey.
HB: *laughs* Oh...I'd rather seem like an elf like a friend of mine. She has pointy ears.
Me: What's the color of her skin?
HB: Very bright White.
Me: What kind of mytical criature do you think you are?
HB: I don't know...An Ogre like in lord of the rings.
Me: *laugh* No, they have funnel-like ears. What girl would you be?
HB: They don't have much girls in lord of the rings ...apart from the elf and the queen of the forest.
Me: Well, I don't know much about lord o the rings
HB: No? I thought you were like me and liked lord of the rings...
Me: I saw all 3 movies just don't remember them very well
HB: I tried to read the book, but I didn´t like much the kind of writing. I guess it was kind of reading intended for guys. I don't know if I saw all of the movies.
Me: And you were talking about me? You haven't seen all the movies.
HB: Still, I tried the book and it wasn't for me
Me: What was the writing like. Was it like Game of thrones?
HB: No. I liked reading Game of thrones. And the series was cool. But they altered a lot of things from the book. Like the beautiful girl with white hair (she meant Daenerys Targaryen).
Me: (Fail) The queen?
HB: No, the one who married he big guy.
Me: (combo fail) That's the queen. The king is uge.
HB: No... I read the two first books.
Me: Me too.
HB:I read them before the series came out.
Me:*smiling* Uuuhhh. How hipster of you.
Me: My younger brother was reading the fifth when the series came out. He is really into that kind of stuff.
HB: I like reading a lot. Know that I have a lot of work, it's difficult to find the time...But when I have the time I like borrowing books from BLCS (a library, had to restrain myself not to interrupt her since my father works there). I even tried reading "War and Peace". "Tried"... it wasn't my style.
Me:*laughs*I had a phase in my life in which I was more into fantasy. Know I'm more into boring stuff.
HB: What kind of stuff?
HB: Like what?
Me: Like Fedon, about the talk Platon had with his disciples before death (fortunately she knew nothing about it...it was actually socrates who died, Platon only wrote it).
HB: Oh, stuff you like but you think other people will find boring. I remember some stuff from philosophy. I liked that argument I was taught about reason vs senses and feelings.
Me: Are you a reasoner?
HB: I think both are important.
Me: There is a known neurologist who believes them to be equaly important. Senses and feelings are important for gathering information. If you feel something is wrong, you migth have already noticed it and just didn’t rationalized it yet.
HB: Sometimes i feel something is wrong and don't know why. It is probably it.
Me: Like a 6th sense.
HB: Guys and girls are different in the way they react to that feeling: Girls usually are more cautious about it...
Me: And guys just say: "I don't care. I'm doing it anyway!"
HB: *somehow metions she had already went to a psychologist*
Me: *smilling* You went to a psychologist?
HB: Not a psychiatrist...
Me: Those are for the crazy people
HB: They would try to put me on drugs...I don't like that
Me: Yep. Psychologists are the ones to go to.
HB: It was actually a psychotherapist.*pau ses to start saying something*
Me: What...*she starts saying it and stops immediately because I talked* Sorry continue.
HB: No, say what you were gonna say.
Me: What's the difference between a psychiatrist and psychologist?
HB: *Says something I don't remember*
----------From now on we are at the place where we should part away (I don't remember very well the chronology of what it was said) ----------
Me: But why did you go? What's wrong?
HB: Well...I didn't want to go. My mom did. Because I am a sad.
Me: Why? What's wrong? How can I help.
HB: It as nothing to do with anyone...I'm just usually not happy.*Sees I am starting to worry* But sometimes I'm happy.
Me: Yep. Happiness is just a feeling. Not an objective in life like some people put it. I think I can help. There are 3 fields that need to be fulfilled in order to be happy: first, intellectual which I presume you have fulfilled since you have very good grades...*she interrupts me*
HB: Well, not exactly. People presume that, just because a person has good grades, she is intelligent and is a cult person. I don't consider myself to be cult.
Me: *smiling* Never did I presume you were cult *she laughs*. If you have good grades that only tells me two things: You are intelligent and you are hard working. Do you feel unhappy because this is not the course (In my country, when you go to college you apply for a course. If you enter, it will last 3 years and have different subjects that you can pass for semester) you wanted? Do you still want to change to communication? (at least she wanted last year).
HB: I am just unhappy.
Me: I used to be depressed... Are you like "Josh"(fictitiou s name of a guy I know who is always on the down side)?
HB: No, not like him. He is always complaining about his life to people he just met...
Me: And always expecting the worst from people. Remember when I got wasted? He actually though no one was there for me.
HB: Sometimes I would be talking to him and he would be complaining about how nobody cared about him. I mean... I was there for him plus he had all of his friends.
*me and her talked about the fact that he started to have seizures recently, I guess it doesn't matter right now*
Me: Are you just like me and have that deep dark feeling inside that overpowers you when you are weaker…
HB: I think every person has that. I don't think it is that.
Me: Ok so...you are not intellectually satisfied...There are two other fields: your physical needs, like eating, drinking, bathroom needs and s*x.
HB: *says something*
Me: Yep, s*x is a tricky one because it is also part of other field: social needs...Have you ever felt generally happy?
HB: I guess… when I was a child...(found this weird since she had a boyfriend just 4 months ago)
Me: Like when you use to hide in your uncle's bus?
HB: yes. I´m always happy when I am at my grandma’s house in the countryside
HB: I don't want you to go home and start thinking you are going to cure me.
Me: Why would I think that?
*talk I don’t remember*
HB: I don't want you to think you are going to cure me.
Me: The natural thing is for you to feel good.
HB: Oh...why did I talk about the psychologist?
HB: You want to ask me something I can see it.
Me: *don't remember*
*we talked about something I don't recall*
HB: I have to go know, we have a test tomorrow *gives me 2 goodbye kisses and says* Look, a dog.
Me: *I look at the dog in a funny way, look back at her and say* Goodbye *She smiles and we part away*"
She also said somewhere near the end how she woories to much about what other people think and how she doesn't like people who just ignore her or talk with her having an agenda.
I did almost no kino at all, and I don't feel I flirted enough.
I would like you guys to tell me if have a shot, based on the conversation I showed you. And where can I improve.
Plus, could I use her unhappiness to my advantage while making her happier at the same time?
I would be very thankful if you could help me