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  • 1 Post By FauxPas
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Thread: Guys... bit frustrated... moving on!?

  1. #1
    DarrenA's Avatar
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    Default Guys... bit frustrated... moving on!?

    Hello everybody,

    So this girl that is in my class has been giving off mixed signals causing me to give off mixed signals. I don't know if she is into me or not. We built comfort in each other, we communicate well,(altho i'm still working on my conversational skills) we would go mall and stuff but i'm not sure where she stands. There will be a time she would seem very into me for a week or two and then after that, when i look to return the favor, she would seem disconnected. This has been going on for 3-4 months now. I am aware that she was in a past 5yr relationship and she broke up because her boyfriend cheated on her so i guess she is being extremely cautious in getting into another relationship. Feeling me out trying to figure of i am for real or just another guy want to get into her pants (which would be nice lol) but i have a lot of respect for her. She is one of those girls that would turn out a lifelong friend. I am interested in long term relationship, not just her body.

    It is not easy to freeze her off or "de-lust" myself since i have classes with her and i have the fear of starting over... back to square one... on the hunt. How did you guys moved on from a mixed signal chic but at the same time, still be a friend and respect her? Kinda like, the guy friend zoned her instead?

    Thanks!

  2. #2
    FauxPas is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Guys... bit frustrated... moving on!?

    DarrenA, FauxPas here. My advise to you...well there is no clear cut ways to move on. You just do, you just go through the motions and move. We all meet girls whom we have a connection with, and sometimes they move on before we are ready. I really believe you can learn an awful lot here, to become better at PUA, but you also have the chance to become a better man! I sound silly for saying this, but had this been going on, back in my day, dinosaurs that is, I would be years ahead. I only say this because it's better to take care of business now than scurrying like a crazy man like me. Not that I'm not having an awful lot of fun, I'm just saying. I use to believe in that special one, now I believe that special one at this moment! Good luck, and good vibes. Ciao, FauxPas.

  3. #3
    DarrenA's Avatar
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    Default Re: Guys... bit frustrated... moving on!?

    Quote Originally Posted by FauxPas View Post
    DarrenA, FauxPas here. My advise to you...well there is no clear cut ways to move on. You just do, you just go through the motions and move. We all meet girls whom we have a connection with, and sometimes they move on before we are ready. I really believe you can learn an awful lot here, to become better at PUA, but you also have the chance to become a better man! I sound silly for saying this, but had this been going on, back in my day, dinosaurs that is, I would be years ahead. I only say this because it's better to take care of business now than scurrying like a crazy man like me. Not that I'm not having an awful lot of fun, I'm just saying. I use to believe in that special one, now I believe that special one at this moment! Good luck, and good vibes. Ciao, FauxPas.
    Hello FauxPas,

    Thank you for the words and i hear you. I'm actually using her to get better bit by bit in terms of conversation and Kino. Use her not in a bad way but to learn. If we get into a relationship, she benefits and if she just want to be friends, no problem but at least i made an effort to do something that would make me better in picking up women.

    The problem is not knowing if she likes me to be in a relationship or just friends. It's like when a person goes missing. If the person is alive, great! but if the person is dead, you would feel it at first but u can accept and move on. I can deal with both cases when the decision is made. If relationship, i'll work at it (not blindly) and if friends, no problem. I might feel the rejection for a few days but i'll move on. I got friend zoned 6 months ago and i was over it by a week.

    I guess is just to ask? If so, need help in asking alpha style. (you can also direct me to some links)

  4. #4
    FauxPas is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Guys... bit frustrated... moving on!?

    DarrenA, FauxPas here. I don't believe woman are as shy nowadays, to hold back with their feelings. I could be wrong about this but I believe it. It might be best to put her in the friend zone and say something to the effect 'you know, I used to have such a thing for you, but now I'm so very happy to have you as a friend. Isn't that weird? She will either come right out and let you know that she's always had something for you, or she values your friendship also. You will get your answer, for better or worse. I'm sure the guys here can tweak and make my suggestion better, or they can call bulls@#t, and give you better advice. It really doesn't matter to me what does matter is that both of us learn together and become better PUA's and better men. Good luck, and good vibes. Ciao, FauxPas.

  5. #5
    DarrenA's Avatar
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    Default Re: Guys... bit frustrated... moving on!?

    Quote Originally Posted by FauxPas View Post
    DarrenA, FauxPas here. I don't believe woman are as shy nowadays, to hold back with their feelings. I could be wrong about this but I believe it. It might be best to put her in the friend zone and say something to the effect 'you know, I used to have such a thing for you, but now I'm so very happy to have you as a friend. Isn't that weird? She will either come right out and let you know that she's always had something for you, or she values your friendship also. You will get your answer, for better or worse. I'm sure the guys here can tweak and make my suggestion better, or they can call bulls@#t, and give you better advice. It really doesn't matter to me what does matter is that both of us learn together and become better PUA's and better men. Good luck, and good vibes. Ciao, FauxPas.
    I like that statement FauxPas, thank you! About the holding back feelings, i know that cougars tend not to hold back while women in their 20s will just want the guy to do all the work... most of them.

    Anymore takers on this topic?

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Guys... bit frustrated... moving on!?

    You are thinking too much dude.just relax ....don't worry.take your time and then take any decision.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Guys... bit frustrated... moving on!?

    I'm going to give some techniques and ideas that will hopefully help you in your situation.

    Try to understand what attraction is. It is essentially a kind of pull. The kind of pull that has someone reaching for MORE of you. Many ways to create this pull such as flipping the attraction switches explained in Mystery Method. You can do research yourself on this topic, but I'm going to talk a bit about push/pull.

    Familiarize yourself with idea of push/pull. Whether with your words, body, or both you can send her on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. This is the "spark" that is sometimes used because it creates a sense of doubt and mystery and she will HAVE to figure out your true intentions without realizing that she is actually investing by trying to "solve" you.

    A friend of mine told me how one time he had just got into the friend zone with this woman and when she said the "You're like a brother to me" line he said "That's great. I feel the same way." He also said that he would really like to be able to talk everyday on the phone with her, which she excitingly agreed to.......Then he didn't speak to her for a WEEK. Followed with an "I'm sorry I've been busy" line he had her chasing him quickly because his words said one thing, and his actions said another....mixed signals. You can even use just words " Wow you're awesome. I love you..... Too bad I usually go for confident/shy women (whichever type she is NOT) Which reminds me of a time when...... (go into unrelated story)"

    The basic rule is that mixed signals deserve mixed signals. If you are very open with your interest in her and she is not reciprocating, then the dynamics between you two is out of wack. Keep using this and some light non-expectation based flirting and this should build some attraction between you to. You already have comfort with her so now it's time to stir things up. Hope this helps and good luck.

  8. #8
    DarrenA's Avatar
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    Default Re: Guys... bit frustrated... moving on!?

    Quote Originally Posted by BatMan View Post
    I'm going to give some techniques and ideas that will hopefully help you in your situation.

    Try to understand what attraction is. It is essentially a kind of pull. The kind of pull that has someone reaching for MORE of you. Many ways to create this pull such as flipping the attraction switches explained in Mystery Method. You can do research yourself on this topic, but I'm going to talk a bit about push/pull.

    Familiarize yourself with idea of push/pull. Whether with your words, body, or both you can send her on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. This is the "spark" that is sometimes used because it creates a sense of doubt and mystery and she will HAVE to figure out your true intentions without realizing that she is actually investing by trying to "solve" you.

    A friend of mine told me how one time he had just got into the friend zone with this woman and when she said the "You're like a brother to me" line he said "That's great. I feel the same way." He also said that he would really like to be able to talk everyday on the phone with her, which she excitingly agreed to.......Then he didn't speak to her for a WEEK. Followed with an "I'm sorry I've been busy" line he had her chasing him quickly because his words said one thing, and his actions said another....mixed signals. You can even use just words " Wow you're awesome. I love you..... Too bad I usually go for confident/shy women (whichever type she is NOT) Which reminds me of a time when...... (go into unrelated story)"

    The basic rule is that mixed signals deserve mixed signals. If you are very open with your interest in her and she is not reciprocating, then the dynamics between you two is out of wack. Keep using this and some light non-expectation based flirting and this should build some attraction between you to. You already have comfort with her so now it's time to stir things up. Hope this helps and good luck.
    Love it Batman love it

    "The basic rule is that mixed signals deserve mixed signals. If you are very open with your interest in her and she is not reciprocating, then the dynamics between you two is out of wack."

    I think this is the problem i am in. Even tho i keep some mystery about myself, i'm too open about my interest in her so i have to adjust that by pulling away a bit but not too much so it would not look like i am not interested at all. I will take your advise Batman especially that push/pull concept, thank you.


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