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Thread: I want my hopeful romantic HighSchool Sweetheart back after 16 years

  1. #61
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    Default Re: I want my hopeful romantic HighSchool Sweetheart back after 16 years

    Ron,

    I just finished reading your latest and probably last post regarding your high school sweetheart. I would have prefered not to ruin the whole thread by replying to it but, I think a lot will benefit from what I am going to say. And, we can always go deeper in PM's.

    I don't think you could have done anything more and better from what you have done. I'm glad you finally see life for what it truly is. No it's not too late for you to see that. There are guys a lot older than you that are less mature then me. Use that new found knowledge to your advantage. Make it your aly. Do not fight it.
    Keep doing those breathing techniques and get yourself into yoga or something like that. Jog around the block to get yourself back into shape and to get yourself tired so you'll eat and sleep well. Time is the greatest healer but it only does so if you're letting go.

    I don't want to sound pick-upy here but I kind of don't how to talk about women in a normal way, I want you to re-initiate the NJR even if it's just to have yourself a good flirty text session. I want you to start making approaches and I want you to flirt with any women any time anywhere as soon as you see an ioi.
    I'm glad you haven't decided to give up on love. Love is the purest and most wonderful of emotions. It is wild, makes us unpredictable and gives us strength. No one knows why we fall in love or what it truly is, all we know is it feels farking fantastic doesn't it?

    Finaly, you're welcome - I guess you were talking about me back there - you are a good guy, I know you will do well with women and if you need something, anything you know where to find me provided you don't dis anymore of my techniques .
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.

  2. #62
    ronthepen is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: I want my hopeful romantic HighSchool Sweetheart back after 16 years

    Yes, Xavier I was talking about you and the other masters that helped me on this thread (lockdown, whitedragon, and xmdriver who all gave me their wisdom to help me in my quest).

    You, Xavier, have been a blessing in my life. Since I am working on a new quest now, a quest to find myself and to be happy on my own, I won't be posting my questions and my thoughts on this thread until I do a move to try to win my High school sweetheart back. I will probably try something one day, but for now I'll be working on myself, and sending you private messages to get your advice or else I might be posting new threads in the future if I get into a situation that deserve to be shared with the forum members who wants to learn things. I think many guys will learn from my experience and see what happened, how it happened, and how it ended. I am grateful for everything you guys have thought me. Thank you.

  3. #63
    Xmrider is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I want my hopeful romantic HighSchool Sweetheart back after 16 years

    Do you know why I envy you Ron? It is cause you felt love which a feeling that I have not felt for a long time... and even if I was depressed like you it was worth the good times. It is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved.
    Make the impossible possible!

  4. #64
    ronthepen is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: I want my hopeful romantic HighSchool Sweetheart back after 16 years

    * Update *

    If you don't have the time or interest to read the whole thread, here is the whole story in a single paragraph:

    July 2012. A guy (me) decides to win the heart of his highschool sweetheart. Starts by writing her a love letter, then meeting her to talk about the situation, then using the BF destroyer technique, then waiting the whole Fall for her to make her own decisions, then she leaves her BF, then they slowly start to date together last Winter. It's the best moment of his life and thinks she is into him as well. Unfortunately, the guy is suffering from oneitis all along but plays the game the best he can, and starts realizing that there's a problem of timing and/or compatibility (that's what she thinks) in the relationship.The girl dumps the guy for another dude that is more compatible, or so it seems. The dumpee gets into a deep heartbreak and decides to let go.

    Here's the update:
    I realized I have all the will in the world to get over this and totally let go, but like I said earlier in this thread I think I will always want this relationship to work so it's hard to just move on like this.

    I do feel better and better - I got myself a new farkbuddy and a few dates with girls that does not give me any butterflies in the stomach - but I still want my highschool sweetheart, even though I know it's not healthy. I guess only time will save me.

    After the breakup I went into No Contact for a month and a half until I decided to mail her a simple letter - a seed letter - with the intent to apologize for what I did wrong, to show her how I changed for the better, how I accept her decision, how I wish her the best and to open a line of communication.

    I decided to do that in order to feel, deep inside, that I've done ALL I could actually do. If this leads to a big nothing, at least I won't have regrets.

    I read all the "get back with your ex" threads and of course I still have hope that one day I will have my second chance - or my tenth chance, depending on the point of view on the whole story hehe.

    I know that most PUAs would think it's AFC to hold on like that and that there are millions of other hot women out there, but the reality is that even though I am 100% conscious that this advice is true, I believe it takes time to integrate and totally assume such a loss.

    I went through a huge introspection to understand why I want to get back with her so much - and the answer I came off with is that it's not a question of ego, but really just a natural reaction of a guy that tasted something that was delicious and wants to taste it again and again.

  5. #65
    xavier's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want my hopeful romantic HighSchool Sweetheart back after 16 years

    -I guess only time will save me.
    - I believe it takes time to integrate and totally assume such a loss.
    Time only heals when you're letting go.
    I know that most PUAs would think it's AFC to hold on like that and that there are millions of other hot women out there, but the reality is that even though I am 100% conscious that this advice is true
    You already told yourself the advice I would give you.
    I already told you I have a new bfd I am working on I would gladly share it with you when the time is right to use it. That being said with that girl, in my opinion, there shouldn't be a time to use it.
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.

  6. #66
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    Default Re: I want my hopeful romantic HighSchool Sweetheart back after 16 years

    ** update **

    I have been reading some articles about Love Addiction and even though I'm not a total wacko I do realize that I need to heal this part of me. In fact, I think that anyone who is having a one-itis should read about love addiction to be aware of its dangers.

    Where I'm at: I got about 8 women which I play the game with even though only half of them got/will get into my bed. One of them might be GF material but I don't want a girlfriend right now. I meet new girls almost every day so life is fun. My depression is no more!

    Xavier was right (again) about time VS letting go completely. Something was missing for me to let go and I think I have finally found my answer. I finally got a message from my soon-to-be ex-one-itis and I am proud of myself by the way I replied. I feel in control and I will definitely put this lady aside from my mind for the next 2 months, and see how things go in my own mind, and only then will I decide what I do next with her. Right now I still want her back so I'm taking a mental break from all this.

    I changed so much inside because of all this... it's really a life experience that was worth it I believe. I suffered like never before but now I seem to enjoy even more the little nice things in life. Meditation saved my life

    I am more eager than ever to learn new things, and Xavier: your new BFD is such a tease!

  7. #67
    xavier's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want my hopeful romantic HighSchool Sweetheart back after 16 years

    You're a good man and I trust you won't give it out PM me your mail and I'll give it to you.
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.

  8. #68
    Johnnynaughtydog is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I want my hopeful romantic HighSchool Sweetheart back after 16 years

    Time works magic. Inform her without being to blunt or coming on to strong and then make sure she sees you trying to fill the gap and/or void.

  9. #69
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I want my hopeful romantic HighSchool Sweetheart back after 16 years

    You need to adjust your frame.stop focusing on boyfriend in dynamic since this is diffrent and escalate.there are girls like her.not that she is not special but yh

  10. #70
    ronthepen is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: I want my hopeful romantic HighSchool Sweetheart back after 16 years

    Quote Originally Posted by Johnnynaughtydog View Post
    Time works magic. Inform her without being to blunt or coming on to strong and then make sure she sees you trying to fill the gap and/or void.
    Inform her of what? And fill what gap? I'm not sure I understand your advice, please explain further, I'm interested

    Quote Originally Posted by HardRock View Post
    You need to adjust your frame.stop focusing on boyfriend in dynamic since this is diffrent and escalate.there are girls like her.not that she is not special but yh
    Thanks for bringing this thread back to life.

    ** Update **
    It's been almost 10 months since the breakup and more than a year and a half since the beginning of this endeavor.

    I haven't put much thoughts about her lately, except that earlier this week I saw a girl in the street that looked a lot like her and it gave me an adrenaline hit in the heart.

    Since my post-breakup depression, I managed to get back on track. I've been in bed with more women than ever and I'm even getting toward a possible relationship with a new woman. But the truth is that some things do change, and some don't.

    What changed:
    - I'm zen now. I am in control of my emotions (detachment). I don't suffer at all. I feel conscious about who I am, about why I have desires, and I can tell when it's my ego that drives me.
    - I am happy. I don't need external circumstances to bring me happiness, it comes from the inside now. No one and nothing can touch that. Damn I sound like a hippie!
    - I've found someone that is a better person than my lost love. I'm not officially with her yet. She's got a BF (again, I'm an areshole).

    What didn't change:
    - I have farked more than 10 women since the breakup and I still didn't forget my highschool sweetheart. That old advice I use to see everywhere on the board isn't working for me.
    - Even though I've found someone better (hotter, better personality match with me, more truthful, etc.) than her, I still feel deep inside that I don't get the same amount of "wow-factor" as I use to get from her. That girl that dumped me was the greatest love I've ever felt - by far.
    - Even though I am ready to start a new life with someone else, something inside of me wants to be with her. A lot. I still love her even if I don't see her as a goddess (I clearly see all of her shortcomings now).

    She never replied to my last email last July. The only question I was asking in that convo was that I wanted to know how she'd feel about keeping contact once in a while. Her indifference is still bugging me a little, I wish I could read her mind.

    I will probably try something to reconnect with her one last time this Spring, if I'm not in a relationship with another gal. I will probably have to get back to this thread to get the best Mindset and strategy ever and try my luck for the last time before she gets pregnant from another guy or something. I am aware that it's the warrior/hunter in me who is speaking - like if I can't admit defeat. I never lose my spirit and I never give up.

    Believe me, I know I can win her back. I feel it. Just like I knew I would get her when all of this crazy story started...


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