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Thread: I want my hopeful romantic HighSchool Sweetheart back after 16 years

  1. #81
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I want my hopeful romantic HighSchool Sweetheart back after 16 years

    Woah man yur outta line..

    Yu may contribute or not...

  2. #82
    whatiswrongwithme is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I want my hopeful romantic HighSchool Sweetheart back after 16 years

    I think being weird is something I've been dealing with my entire life...honestly...I feel like love is something so many women don't even understand...

  3. #83
    whatiswrongwithme is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I want my hopeful romantic HighSchool Sweetheart back after 16 years

    You guys are interesting...not gonna lie I'm kinda intimidated...it's nice to hear "weird" is welcome...
    Last edited by whatiswrongwithme; 03-10-2014 at 05:03 AM. Reason: could be misinterpreted what I said first

  4. #84
    SolidT is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: I want my hopeful romantic HighSchool Sweetheart back after 16 years

    Cool,what makes some women confused in that area, i wondered.sometimes when you tell i girl what you feel shes tends to see it weird but i can't help it.i gotta drop bombs(literally).i had to control it.

  5. #85
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I want my hopeful romantic HighSchool Sweetheart back after 16 years

    I met some pretty interesting women in my..i think latinas and whites are very friendly.

    let out what you may..no censorship..knoe you can handle it

    you seem confident and very self aware..

  6. #86
    ronthepen is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: I want my hopeful romantic HighSchool Sweetheart back after 16 years

    ***Update***
    I made a move. I'll answer and comment these questions first and tell you what happened next.

    Quote Originally Posted by whitedragon View Post
    No offense but you sound awfully confused, sentimental and idealistic.

    Snap out of it. Don't wait until spring. Call her up now and just ask her out for a good time.

    (...)

    I know I'm being harsh but you're in limboland. Love happens or it doesn't. Make it happen or move on with your life.
    Whitedragon - I have read your reply a few months ago. It really helped me rethink my ways and I am thankful you took some of your time to write on this thread once again. I am beginning to see a recurrent philosophy in your messages - I feel like in your point of view, "love is or love is not". I mean that I get a feeling that you see love as working or just simply not working out. I agree with this in a way, but at the same time I keep thinking that there are some gray areas. I, on my part, have been in love with two women at the same time and refused to get into a relationship even though I loved the girl I rejected. I believe this is also what my highschool sweetheart did a year ago when she left. Love is sometimes more complex and basically to make love become a relationship it's a question of fitting into a person's frame of beliefs of a what a "perfect partner" should be like. Love by itself is not enough. Still, what you wrote in your last post made me realize things and your point of view is always welcome. I remember what you wrote me on the first page of this long thread and how you've helped me in my quest so far - Your philosophy is very enlightening to me. Thank you so much.

    Quote Originally Posted by xavier View Post
    Hey Ron, long time no see it's good to 'hear' your voice again. @whitedragon yeah it is harsh but you are right. He's right Ron do it or get out of the way!
    Hey bud! Yeah I took a lot of time to come back on the board. I had work to do - introspection, meditation, reflexion. I wanted to be strong enough mentally and emotionally before I make a move. Well I made one and you'll see how things are going in a few seconds! I hope things are good with you as well

    Quote Originally Posted by whatiswrongwithme View Post
    Okay, I have to reply to this. First, I HAVE to say...You being honest = RIGHT move. I'm a girl and I'm obsessed with this stuff. OBSESSED. I think this forum is amazing and the idea of grouping girls into categories based on how romantic they are etc. is actually an amazing concept and strategy.

    Don't smother her in this delicate period. Right now is going to make or break everything in a woman's mind (seriously). I have personally experienced this. When I have room to reach for a guy, to think about him and compare him to other guys...it's ALWAYS a turn off if he is persistent with the contact. You've shown her you are romantic.

    I am going to re-read what you wrote and give you my feedback after considering it and reading the entire thread. I just had to say: I LOVE THE BELIEF you have in you and her. You have no ideaaaaa how rare it is these days for refreshing, honest and emotionally raw conversations.

    That said, don't over-do it.

    Questions:
    1. Have you kissed or been close to kissing ever?
    2. Do you two text?
    3. What is her current boyfriend like?
    4. Has she cried in front of you?
    5. Do you know things about her no one else knows?
    6. What is she like as a person? If you told me more about her specifically it'd help.
    Honesty: Thanks for your input. I am happy, looking back, with myself for being honest with her all the way even though I lost her. I have learned recently that telling the WHOLE truth ALL the time is not always good... but at least you never regret anything in the end.

    Thread: I really hope you will read this thread. Even though it's LOOOOONNNG like hell, still, I think it's entertaining nevertheless! The guys over here have been my guides and I am really glad to look back at what I did thinking that I have lived some great life events mostly because of them... and because of my courage. It takes guts to do all I've done - I am not going to take pride with this but acknowledge that I discovered that in this life, if you want things to happen, it's better to act and make things happen

    Your questions:
    1. Have you kissed or been close to kissing ever?
    Actually if you read the thread in its whole you'll find that I'm not a teenager. I met the girl when I was 16 but we are now in our 30s and I have been dating her for a few months a year ago. We kissed and had sex many... many times...

    2. Do you two text?
    No we don't. After the "breakup" a year ago, I went NC for two months, then we exchanged some words and she froze me out for the last 10 months.

    3. What is her current boyfriend like?
    I don't even know if she's still with the guy she went with right after she left me. That guy was probably a beta male from what I know, but he had more activities in common with her - similar hobbies etc.

    4. Has she cried in front of you?
    She did drop a few tears, but never had the chance to see her cry for real.

    5. Do you know things about her no one else knows?
    I know many, but at the same time I am conscious that she never gave herself 100% to me. I think she was scared to fall in love with me - she left me two weeks after a beautiful moment we shared when I'm pretty sure she felt love for me. I was intense and was asking for way too much - marriage/kids and other insane stuff, so she couldn't give in into love all the way, I believe, by fear of going too far too soon.

    6. What is she like as a person? If you told me more about her specifically it'd help.
    She's a secretive person. She's mysterious, keeping things for her sisters and friends - not telling her BF everything.
    She melts for me - she always did - but she doesn't see the old "me" (intense, passionate, romantic) as her BF.
    She has a pattern with her BFs - they are always liking the same stuff as she does (hobbies like gardening and other hippy stuff lol) and they are more beta (she doesn't like feeling dominated) but she always end up leaving her BFs because they don't satisfy her - loss of passion.
    She's sweet, she likes my confidence and my guts - I like her capacity to live in the present moment and to take care of other people.
    She comes from a religious family - I don't. She's not a Jesus freak, actually I don't think she's a believer, but she definitely feel guilt and other religious conditioning.
    She likes bio food and cycling, theater, opera, etc.

    Overall I'd say that what we have in common is similar referents and background, a really strong sexual and emotional connection, but we have yet to develop a deep communication and to find activities in common.

    **The update, finally**
    I have been pondering my next move for months, among other things. I had been making plans and strategies. Last week I must have been a little out of my mind but I just wrote her a quick email for the first time in the last 10 months. I told her I was wondering if she had changed jobs (but didn't ask for it, just saying I was asking myself the question) and made a joke about a sexual nickname I use to call her. I pressed the send button while my brain wasn't working and spent two days wondering what the fark I had done.

    I was expecting no response at all. Or if I were to get a reply, that it would be cold and that she would make clear that she doesn't want anything from me.

    She answered me this morning. Nothing amazing, just friendly, but she did ask me a question back and ended with an open door to eventually see each other again. I don't expect anything from her at this point, but this positive reply was a surprise. I would really want to get some insights about how to keep things ultra-slow while trying to regain her confidence and comfort... I'm looking for a few ideas about what I should write her back, when to ask for a coffee or something. I am patient now. My Mindset is that I have no expectancy at all and that I know I am starting things over. All I want right now is for her to see what I have become - I am proud of my evolution, of my more realist philosophy, of my zen approach (detachment). I don't know what to do - I don't want to screw this up again! Any advice, anyone?


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