Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 13
Like Tree1Likes

Thread: Any chance at moving from these couple dates to GF?

  1. #1
    Phoenix Rising is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 64, Level: 1
    Level completed: 28%, Points required for next Level: 36
    Overall activity: 0%
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    9
    Points
    64
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Any chance at moving from these couple dates to GF?

    I'll try to keep this short. Reposting from another forum.

    Met girl, number closed. We chatted up. Short version, is via fb chat she reveals to me she got dumped over phone (relationship 2 years) but she was trying to get her feet wet dating. We made set a 1st date. Sure enough, the day of the date she cancels on me saying "She's not ready."

    I don't reply, I just cease all contact for 2 weeks, then open again. Game it up, secure another date. Goes well, I don't k-close on 1st dates (personal preference), but do get a tight hug. Few days go by, contact again. Set 2nd date. Again, date goes really well. We're hanging at her place watching TV, Kino is through the roof. Cuddled up, my hands exploring her. She's curled into a ball in short shorts, my hand rests on her bare leg, every now and again caressing along the length of the thigh. We go to dinner, then back to my place. Again we curl up to watch TV (on my bed cuddling in the dark), more kino. Hands wander torso, start kissing the top of her head, she allows it, forehead, allowed. Go for k-close and she whispers the words again. "I'm not ready."

    I tell her it's ok, we go back to cuddling etc. She lets me kiss her forehead, side/top of head all I want. I drop her off, walk to door. She gives me a tight hug, and then SHE kisses me on the cheek. I hold the hug after kiss on cheek and say "Don't worry about it. Don't be awkward, I understand, we can go as slow as needed." Wait for her to open door and get safely inside then leave.


    Hindsight, I think I was too nice/beta at the door, possibly beta in saying "It's ok" when rejected. I've gone into no contact. Would like to hear opinions on what my next move should be. Is she just going slow? Is she gonna drop me if the ex comes back/when she recovers from being dumped? She's been 100% straightforward with what she thinks she feels, but I know that means nothing because .

    Background: They broke up 2 months in after being together 2 years.

    My diagnosis: She wants male attention/companionship (hence cuddling and letting me kiss her forehead, top of head, cheek) but not anything else (no making out/sex/etc.) and I'll probably be cast aside as a used up emotional tampon.

  2. #2
    pua_wannabe is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 1,281, Level: 19
    Level completed: 81%, Points required for next Level: 19
    Overall activity: 13.0%
    Achievements:
    1000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Reno, NV
    Posts
    186
    Points
    1,281
    Level
    19
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    64

    Default Re: Any chance at moving from these couple dates to GF?

    I was planning on answering to your previous post, my bad!

    Anyhow keep persistent, don't give up yet! fresh out of a relationship chances are she is gunshy! So keep going, start engaging her emotionally, in a logical state of mind she would stop escalation a hundred to one! In an emotional state she will be prone to your advances because she wants them!

    Remember to leave this girl better off than she currently is! That is our goal after all, I hope this helps
    Last edited by pua_wannabe; 09-20-2012 at 06:59 PM. Reason: addition
    Take her off that farking pedestal!

    “The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.”
    ― Flannery O'Connor

  3. #3
    Phoenix Rising is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 64, Level: 1
    Level completed: 28%, Points required for next Level: 36
    Overall activity: 0%
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    9
    Points
    64
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: Any chance at moving from these couple dates to GF?

    This just new territory to me. Never had to deal with these kinds of "ex-issues." So I am unfamiliar with texting frequency, dating frequency, contact in general frequency for this scenario. Who should be initiating contact now? She is out of town this weekend so I could potentially not talk to her until next week, or just keep in touch via text. Pointers for that sort of thing would be greatly appreciated.

    I actually do like this girl a lot, which is why I have stuck around instead of just erasing her from my phone. I think she's great, to keep it short. Just don't want to botch this by putting too much pressure on or not enough.

  4. #4
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 15,299, Level: 79
    Level completed: 90%, Points required for next Level: 51
    Overall activity: 99.0%
    Achievements:
    Social10000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    1,032
    Points
    15,299
    Level
    79
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    675

    Default Re: Any chance at moving from these couple dates to GF?

    You're doing fine - I think concentrate on quality time together in person and with regards to texts keep them relatively constant but not too intense. Only time can speed up her recovery process so really it's a case of being patient and not making any major mistakes or overthinking what she's going through. Your whole situation builds up a lot of sexual Tension so when she's really ready for that it will be probably worth the wait! I would recommend not texting over the weekend while she's away - she's newly single and you don't want to give her the impression guys are falling at her feet. Part of her healing process should be taking initiative also. Because she broke up means you have to respect that and be a little patient but not do anything above and beyond that.

  5. #5
    Phoenix Rising is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 64, Level: 1
    Level completed: 28%, Points required for next Level: 36
    Overall activity: 0%
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    9
    Points
    64
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: Any chance at moving from these couple dates to GF?

    Quote Originally Posted by pua_wannabe View Post
    I was planning on answering to your previous post, my bad!

    Anyhow keep persistent, don't give up yet! fresh out of a relationship chances are she is gunshy! So keep going, start engaging her emotionally, in a logical state of mind she would stop escalation a hundred to one! In an emotional state she will be prone to your advances because she wants them!

    Remember to leave this girl better off than she currently is! That is our goal after all, I hope this helps
    Any tips on HOW to engage her emotionally?

    My main concern is that I don't want to "friend-zone" myself by being the "friend" she uses to get over her ex and then getting cast aside. AKA "let's just be friends."

  6. #6
    pua_wannabe is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 1,281, Level: 19
    Level completed: 81%, Points required for next Level: 19
    Overall activity: 13.0%
    Achievements:
    1000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Reno, NV
    Posts
    186
    Points
    1,281
    Level
    19
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    64

    Default Re: Any chance at moving from these couple dates to GF?

    First off take into account whitedragon's advice. You need to work in a combo of dhv stories and Kino. It seems to me that last minute resistance and connection is the real problem here! So look into some routines that will help Disarm this last part.http://www.puaforums.com/how-pick-up...ry-method.html look into both those sections they should help!
    Take her off that farking pedestal!

    “The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.”
    ― Flannery O'Connor

  7. #7
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 15,299, Level: 79
    Level completed: 90%, Points required for next Level: 51
    Overall activity: 99.0%
    Achievements:
    Social10000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    1,032
    Points
    15,299
    Level
    79
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    675

    Default Re: Any chance at moving from these couple dates to GF?

    Also when I was young I thought girls were usually more hurt than men and they took longer to heal. The reality is they don't. Men are often very sentimental and can take an enormous time to get over someone as well. Biologically it also makes sense that a women needs to get over men fast in case their cave man hunter dies while out hunting mammoth and she needs another partner to be the provider and carer. So be a little patient and respectful but don't position yourself to her as a safe friend in between relationships. You need to be better than her last guy so she is thinking 'wow this new guy is awesome! Why the hell was I with that last idiot for so long'. Sooner than later you are going to have to risk the entire thing and go physical and sweep her off her feet and barge through whatever emotional garbage that is holding her back. Hey in many ways that's probably exactly what she needs to move on.

  8. #8
    Phoenix Rising is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 64, Level: 1
    Level completed: 28%, Points required for next Level: 36
    Overall activity: 0%
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    9
    Points
    64
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: Any chance at moving from these couple dates to GF?

    I sent her a pretty harmless question text on Friday. No response.

    As lame as it sounds, I've been out and about, parties, roadtrip, etc, and my facebook is full of "dhv" lol Meanwhile she is stuffing her statuses with "Emo" stuff. Stuff about heartache, breakups, etc. Her ex is also gone from her friend's list. No clue who removed who.

    Input? Advice? I am currently going no contact until I hear from her, if I ever do unless you guys suggest otherwise.

  9. #9
    Phoenix Rising is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 64, Level: 1
    Level completed: 28%, Points required for next Level: 36
    Overall activity: 0%
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    9
    Points
    64
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: Any chance at moving from these couple dates to GF?

    Update: She ended up texting me/messaging on FB enough to get me to respond. I have a date with her tonight.

    Any advice? Should I try to k-close again or hold off building Tension until it's blatantly obvious she wants to kiss?

  10. #10
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
    Points: 31,222, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social25000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Awards:
    Posting Award
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Southern Michigan USA
    Posts
    2,558
    Points
    31,222
    Level
    100
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 9 Times in 8 Posts
    Rep Power
    1391

    Default Re: Any chance at moving from these couple dates to GF?

    Quote Originally Posted by Phoenix Rising View Post
    Update: She ended up texting me/messaging on FB enough to get me to respond. I have a date with her tonight.

    Any advice? Should I try to k-close again or hold off building Tension until it's blatantly obvious she wants to kiss?
    You never want to hold off building attraction & escalating sexual tension if you don't have to.
    Otherwise you risk becoming her "friend".

    Don't be blatantly over-eager, but definitely flirt & set the frame of your "relationship" as being MORE THAN just friends. Make your intent known right away that you ARE interested in her on a more sexual level.

    Innuendos are great for gauging how receptive she is & how much further (& sooner) you can escalate.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.


Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Facebook couple profile pictures
    By Joek1988 in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 5
    Last Thread: 12-22-2012, 01:16 PM
  2. Couple questions here :)
    By acerazor1 in forum General Questions
    Replies: 3
    Last Thread: 04-19-2012, 11:29 AM
  3. First Post!! - Help with a couple things pls
    By T_Dalsh in forum Field Reports
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 09-06-2010, 09:27 AM
  4. Need a couple of guys
    By Bill Preston in forum New Member Introductions
    Replies: 4
    Last Thread: 08-12-2010, 01:26 AM
  5. Opener: We Could Never Be A Couple!
    By MPUA Steve in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 11-18-2008, 10:29 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com