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  • 1 Post By whitedragon

Thread: My Best friend / FWB to Girlfriend transition. AN EXPERIMENT

  1. #1
    TheRealDeal87 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default My Best friend / FWB to Girlfriend transition. AN EXPERIMENT

    Some background info,

    I met this girl about a year ago. HB 8.5. FK closed her the first night I met her and we've developed a best friends/FWB type of relationship since then. She's a single mother, two kids, young too, but we're happiest together. There is no doubt about that. Her past ex fiancee/gf (she is bi) have thrown an ultimatum on her that if we were to remain friends, than they would not be in the picture. She trashed both of those relationships to keep the friendship we have, and we're still hooking up time and time again. I have had to cut off two women I was seeing also because I was also given the ultimatum.

    We've always had these rules that we don't kiss goodnight, don't sleep in the same bed, stuff like that and we have maintained these rules from the start. However, I had a very dark and reckless past that scared her off as a potential boyfriend. Now that has all turned around, I'm a year away from graduating college and I'm making a killing with my current job.

    She and I still hook up maybe once a week, but we will go out with other people who we consider potential spouses 'dates' or whatever. But she and I have never personally done anything of the sort. The usual stuff in the game is not working.

    I can NOT make this girl jealous. I have railed other women in the same house as her, and she does not get jealous at all! NOT AT ALL! This woman is sexually open to threesomes with me and they have happened time and time again. We have admitted that we do love each other, but I want this girl to fall in love with me and to be with her. That is my goal.

    I have ignored her for a few days at a time, made myself unavailable, slammed other women, etc. I have done this same routine in the game many times over with girls that I want a relationship with, and they always take the bait out of competition/jealousy. This time, it isn't working because I don't think that I have done the above long enough, and to be honest, I do get AFC time and time again over this girl which must stop.

    Having you guys constantly being able to read the progress of this, will help me stay Alpha if that makes sense. Kind of the 'all eyes on me' sense of things. We talk nearly every day, and that is about to stop. Not in a shitty manner by any means, I'm going to just simply be way too busy to talk to her with work, and with school, and other women.

    I am usually the one that initiates sex and I've never been turned down, she occasionally initiates it / hits me up for booty call, whatever. The goal here is to put fear in her that she is losing me, which in turn will make her pursue me to the fullest extent, which will ultimately lead to a relationship with her.

    I'll update this once a week, maybe twice to let you guys know the progress I'm making here. I am open to all critique, any technique that my assist in this endeavor, and every criticism.

    9/21/2012

  2. #2
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: My Best friend / FWB to Girlfriend transition. AN EXPERIMENT

    Being alpha is being smart. If you want this girl to fall in love with you she has see you as a potential husband and father ultimately - and so do you. Given both your pasts there is huge complexity to your situation. What you have mainly described is open sexual escapades but closed relationship 'rules'. I would firstly think long and hard why you want this girls affection and is it realistic to your life game plan when you have the upper hand and freedom to choose a new partner who does not have kids you can eventually have a healthy family with. And is heterosexual. If she is not jealous of you she does not care deep down about you as a potential partner. That is the hard truth. She is using you as an emotional crutch because she is a single mum with young kids permanently on her mind. She won't compromise her children so she won't have any major fear of loosing you except in the context of emotional support for her being a mum. There's plenty of beautiful, stable women out there in the fullness of time, I wouldn't be putting too much focus on a bi-sexual single mother with 'rule' issues and a lack of jealousy myself, especially when you are young.

  3. #3
    TheRealDeal87 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: My Best friend / FWB to Girlfriend transition. AN EXPERIMENT

    Quote Originally Posted by whitedragon View Post
    Being alpha is being smart. If you want this girl to fall in love with you she has see you as a potential husband and father ultimately - and so do you. Given both your pasts there is huge complexity to your situation. What you have mainly described is open sexual escapades but closed relationship 'rules'. I would firstly think long and hard why you want this girls affection and is it realistic to your life game plan when you have the upper hand and freedom to choose a new partner who does not have kids you can eventually have a healthy family with. And is heterosexual. If she is not jealous of you she does not care deep down about you as a potential partner. That is the hard truth. She is using you as an emotional crutch because she is a single mum with young kids permanently on her mind. She won't compromise her children so she won't have any major fear of loosing you except in the context of emotional support for her being a mum. There's plenty of beautiful, stable women out there in the fullness of time, I wouldn't be putting too much focus on a bi-sexual single mother with 'rule' issues and a lack of jealousy myself, especially when you are young.
    'If she is not jealous of you she does not care deep down about you as a potential partner. That is the hard truth.'

    CORRECT. It is the hard truth and that is what I want to change. She is younger than me by four years, she had her children young.

    For the last two weeks she's been going on dates with a guy now that she likes, who is a single dad himself so he fits the profile she is looking for. The only reason that I have hopes that I can turn this around is because she has chosen me over two serious relationships; one being that of her ex fiancee who is the father of her child and they were in the process of getting back together. He laid the ultimatum on her about being friends with me, and she chose me.

    Mixed signals man. This ones driving me crazy.

  4. #4
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: My Best friend / FWB to Girlfriend transition. AN EXPERIMENT

    She chose you over her past but not her future. Just be careful she is not using you and you're not wasting valuable time and emotion. Perhaps try change her 'rules'. Love is s flower, gotta let it grow.

  5. #5
    TheRealDeal87 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: My Best friend / FWB to Girlfriend transition. AN EXPERIMENT

    Quote Originally Posted by whitedragon View Post
    She chose you over her past but not her future. Just be careful she is not using you and you're not wasting valuable time and emotion. Perhaps try change her 'rules'. Love is s flower, gotta let it grow.
    Yes, exactly, and a watched pot never boils.

    Been cold on her since the start of this so only a few days. Nothing yet. Just been occupying myself and focusing on my job/career, in the gym, and chasing new women. Went on a double with my wingman this past Saturday to meet a girl I graduated with, and her older sister. He ended up setting a 2 day (usually he closes right away, he's an mPUA, partied with Mystery, Strauss, David D, all those guys) and we work very well together.

    I kiss closed my girl within 5 minutes, and fk closed at the end of the night. Sent her into multiple orgasms to the point of where she passed out when I went down on her. She's hooked. It was a great night.

    Just updating this to show everyone you can still live and have good times while having feelings for someone, just don't let yourself be completely hung up on them!

  6. #6
    TheRealDeal87 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: My Best friend / FWB to Girlfriend transition. AN EXPERIMENT

    Just an update:

    Haven't spoke to her in almost a week, and she's used to speaking to me every day but she's not a needy girl by any means. She 'poked' me on facebook earlier, so I poked back after about 10 minutes, that was that. I didn't message her, text her, or call her.

    Besides all of thatI have multiple dates this weekend. One with a girl who is a potential LTR who I'm really into, and she's really into me but we're taking things very slow because we are both used to rushing right into things. Another is my high school crush, and another is a girl I Fk closed last week.

    All three of these women are meeting me out, at the same time. Two have time constraints (one works in the AM, one has kids) so one leaves at 8PM, one at 10PM, and the other I am with for the night. I've already introduced them all to each other and there's no conflict. I figured this would be a fun experiment and alpha as hell so I figured why not.

    The things I am accomplishing without focusing on my target that this thread pertains to is amazing. I shouldn't have been putting so much thought and energy into her. Can't believe I've been thinking so beta the whole time.

    I'll update more later. Stay strong, never go beta. It's wired in our genetics to multiply and seek out multiple partners and to find someone long term I believe, that's where the AFC syndrome kicks in where you think a girl is 'the one' etc. Don't cave in to it!

  7. #7
    TheRealDeal87 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: My Best friend / FWB to Girlfriend transition. AN EXPERIMENT

    One hell of a terrible week.......

  8. #8
    ronthepen is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: My Best friend / FWB to Girlfriend transition. AN EXPERIMENT

    Quote Originally Posted by TheRealDeal87 View Post
    One hell of a terrible week.......
    You can't just write this and not give us explications! What happened?

  9. #9
    Amsu13 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: My Best friend / FWB to Girlfriend transition. AN EXPERIMENT

    Real Deal, I think you have to learn to recognize the Truth of a situation and accept it for what it is, once you see it. Don't look so much to define things,just let them be naturally and whatever it is you want, you will find it.

  10. #10
    TheRealDeal87 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: My Best friend / FWB to Girlfriend transition. AN EXPERIMENT

    Quote Originally Posted by ronthepen View Post
    You can't just write this and not give us explications! What happened?
    Bad news all around.....I honestly feel very terrible about this whole thing.

    This is NOT an emotionally unstable woman, at all, not in the least bit. The doctors prescribed her a medication for anxiety and one of the side effects was 'depression and suicidal thoughts'.

    While I was busy Freezing Her Out while these past few weeks, she got into it with her ex and found herself in a weak state. After a drunken argument, she took a lethal overdose. They pumped around 50 different pain/anxiety medications/tylenol out of her stomach along with a pint of alcohol....

    When the EMT's got there she was dead. They were barely able to resuscitate her and she was placed on life support for a couple of days. After she was stable, they took her off support and moved her to a psych unit in the hospital for a few days, had her undergo a few evaluations and determined that she is completely level headed and that the side effect of the medicine was one of the more serious cases that had been reported. They discontinued her off of the medication and she's back to her normal self now, going about all of this like it didnt happen.

    I feel pretty fked up about the whole situation. She had been trying to contact me, even called a couple of times but I was so set on getting her by being unavailable, I almost lost my best friend in the world.....

    This really made me rethink the game to a high degree. I know this isn't my fault, but had I been a true friend and answered the phone and spoken to her rather than be worried about 'being AFC' this could have been prevented.. We're going out together on Sunday next week after things calm down a bit with my job. I just want us to have a fun day. I'm so thankful she's alive


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