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  1. #1
    test_tube_baby is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Angry Going out for drinks with this girl, don't want to be in the friend zone

    So I asked this girl out for drinks, and I've been out for drinks with her twice before but that was when it was three of us. Now, it will be just the two of us.

    How can I make sure that I don't end up in the friend zone? I don't know if this is a date, because I said "The night will be on me, I invited you", and she said "Let's duke it out for the drinks" as in she's not gonna let the night be on me.

    Is there anything I can do to turn this around, before the rendezvous or during?

    p.s. she cancelled one of our meetups before so I'm questioning whether she actually wants to date me or not

  2. #2
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Going out for drinks with this girl, don't want to be in the friend zon

    When you first meet her Kino a little. It could be as little as a gentle grab of the arm or as much as a kiss and hug to greet. This will signal that your intentions are physical. After you greet, lead her away from behind with your hand on her back or waist briefly. By touching her in a non sleazy way up front you can signal your ultimate intentions to her subliminally and it can also build comfort with her. If you are going out for drinks don't get too drunk but use it to your advantage because your inhibitions will be lower. When you're talking and you make a key point, punchline or if you are gently teasing her use kino. Touch her on the thigh briefly or slap her playfully on the arm (or gently push her away teasing) when she say's something silly. Observe her reactions to all of this. If all is well, usually girls kino back or get playful back. Observe her hands. Is she wearing nail polish? Grab her hands confidently but gently and admire or neg her nails depending on the situation. You can ask if she did them herself if they are really glamoress or ask what her favorite color is if they are ordinary. If she is not wearing any nail polish you could neg that 'No polish?? Geez...but you would look good with torquise, lots of girls are using that color at the moment' or 'cripes you bite your nails?????'. You can gently and subtly massage her hands while you are doing this. If she has nice nails/hands say so. She may already know you like her and if she flaked before you need to pull her back in. Challenge her a little with some mild negs so she knows you are not afraid and also to show you are not overly infactuated or anything.

    Forget about who is paying, whether she flaked before and just enjoy the night. If asked say it is definately a date. A fun night! Of course its a date. If she is not 100% sure about you, who cares - YOU are 100% sure of YOU. Show her a great night and have fun! Perhaps try split the bill or you each shout a round. Get her to shout the first round. If she wants to pay for all drinks awesome. It wont affect the deeper part of your game which is to build immense attraction through showcasing your virtues, getting her to talk a lot (revealing her weaknesses and creating an emotional connection). If you have seen her twice before she should be comfortable around you so perhaps try go for a stroll somewhere romantic afterwards... choose a bar near a park, beach, promenade, whatever where you could try for a kiss close. But build a strong connection with brilliant ocnversation. Ask her questions about how she feels about things, what she dreams about etc rather than technical questions. Of course you may need to ask some intel questions but it is how you lead off them that is important. Sweep her off her feet.

    When you're drinking you can use cheers to link yourself together. First sip could be a cheers to saturday night or whatever. Second cheers (clink glasses) could be to nail polish or something goofy about her or you. 'Cheers to blue shirts'. Third cheers could be 'cheers to the two of us drinking here like bonnie and clyde having just robbed a bank' or 'cheers to us two enjoying ourselves like two movie stars in an old noire film' or 'cheers to the two of us - the only brave people in the place drinking a bloody mary'. I often seed the idea of 'us' together on a date. 'We are like two spies sneaking away from the mission in a spanish village drinking wine'. 'We are like teenagers giggling away in this place' 'the ambience in this hidden place is great - it's like we are two lost travellers in the desert that stumble upon a moorish bar in an oasis' whatever situational thing you can come up with.

  3. #3
    test_tube_baby is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Going out for drinks with this girl, don't want to be in the friend zon

    Thanks man! That's some real good tips I've never heard those 'cheers' phrases before. I'll definitely try them out.

  4. #4
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Going out for drinks with this girl, don't want to be in the friend zon

    Quote Originally Posted by test_tube_baby View Post
    Thanks man! That's some real good tips I've never heard those 'cheers' phrases before. I'll definitely try them out.
    The great thing about 'cheers to us' is she is subconsciously accepting 'us' (the two of you) and even more powerfully through the physical action of the toast - just like couples toast champagne at their wedding. You can also do it straight away on the date. It's highly symbolic and by adding something creative about the place and attaching that to something out of this world gives her all sorts of emotional connections, imagery and ideals. 'We are like two french film stars from the 60's, in a black and white film with the rain trickling outside this cafe...salut'. Even if you take her to farking McDonalds 'we are like two kids sneaking off on a school trip to Macca's slurping our shakes and eating with our fingers'. The point is to create hooks, get her accepting you and her together and also its just plain fun. You are sharing. 'Hey, your cocktail looks awesome, let me try...yum...you want to taste mine?'. You can also be cocky 'cheers to the most handsome man in this bar '. If she cheers you (you have already thrust your glass out) she is essentially accepting you are the most handsome guy in the bar .

    It also shows a sense of leadership towards celebration (fun and excitement). She may be encouraged to initiate some cheers 'Gambei!' herself and that is a good sign. It also ensures she drinks a little and you both loosen up. If she has accepted 5 cheers and accepted all these creative idea of you two together, when you then say 'lets go for a walk in the park' she'll likely accept and if she is strolling around a park (or somewhere private and romantic) with you very likely she will accept to kiss you. You are no longer just another guy, you are the spy, the french film star, the larger than life character who is unique and fun to be around. Brave conversation.


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