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  • 4 Post By ronthepen
  • 1 Post By Yolo007

Thread: Self Realization.. Help

  1. #1
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    Default Self Realization.. Help

    Tonight I was texting this girl I've been talking to for awhile now and I realized it was going down hill. I started to think about why and it hit me I've been doing everything wrong. Everything I learned practice and preach I was doing backwards. See this usually isn't a problem I stick to what I know it it works pretty damn well on most of the girls I meet. So I was wondering what was different. I realized that when ever I commit to one girl and think there's a possibility of a LTR my game gets shot to shit. However when I could care less about what happen between me and a girl my game is top notch. This is the reason I've always been single. I'm not really sure what causes this. Any guys who could help out my dilemma?
    In life you get what you put into it.

  2. #2
    ronthepen is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Self Realization.. Help

    Quote Originally Posted by Yolo007 View Post
    I realized that when ever I commit to one girl and think there's a possibility of a LTR my game gets shot to sh1t. However when I could care less about what happen between me and a girl my game is top notch.
    Most people have the same issue. I, for my part, know exactly what you're saying.

    Realizing this early will of course help you focus on your frame and you'll slowly start to do less and less mistakes. A good way to get better is to get yourself into the right Mindset every morning when you wake up. Usually it makes a difference for the whole day

    Also, when you text her, don't push the "send" button until you re-read your messages and make sure your texts are solid. You can ask for day-to-day help here or even better, do like I do: Before I send something that could be compromising (a message that could sound needy or beta) I usually send it to my sister first lol. She's amazing. She knows what words or sentences are "too much" and she helps her elder bro at any time of the day or night. Find someone like that who can be your second brain. A female brain is the best but if you don't have anyone that comes to mind, ask your best buddy or any guy who "knows" the rules of the game.

    Finally, there's no better way to get your frame than to read tons of threads on this forum. Every minute you spend here is worth it. At one point, the knowledge you get here just makes its way into your personality naturally. Good luck!

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Self Realization.. Help

    Yeah that's a good method to keep my head clear. Right now I'm mid Freeze-Out trying to see if I can recover I should be fine with this one anyhow. But really I wanna know what makes me change. As soon as there's any sort of investment no matter how big or small. Its like boom! a switch is flipped and I act differently, until I tell myself to wake the fark up. I think If I knew why I did this it'd go a long way in helping me change it.
    In life you get what you put into it.

  4. #4
    pua_wannabe is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Self Realization.. Help

    Your placing her on a pedestal, this happen to me about a month ago. At first I was whatever about talking to her and it was going pretty well...up until I became emotionally invested and well same thing happen I lost my game! I became beta... I needed her validation through every text, I was completely concentrated on only her. I honestly came off needy and desperate for her attention! I blew it and that was the truth no coming back from that.

    "Never put a woman you just met pedestal! treat her as if she is one of many women who you are currently interested in" courtesy of Mode One By Alan Roger Currie
    Take her off that farking pedestal!

    “The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.”
    ― Flannery O'Connor

  5. #5
    crackr is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Self Realization.. Help

    play the game not the girl . she got in your head a you lost it lol . this is my biggest problem . getting them is easy keeping them is different . like the one guy said Mindset . stop and think then think what you would say to a different woman , one your not so attracted to and use that .

  6. #6
    Yolo007's Avatar
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    Default Re: Self Realization.. Help

    Yeah the whole putting her on a pedestal thing is absolutely correct. This is what I needed to hear. I think this will certainly help me out here and in the future. Its easy to keep other girls in focus because you see no long term relationship between yourself and them. However as soon as you invest you feel like shes special and should be treated to a higher standard when in reality shes still the same as the others and should be held at the same standard. I have a friend from my AFC days that I put on a pedestal and for the longest time now I've looked at her and wonder what ever made me go so crazy, but thinking about it now it makes perfect sense. Even if you do manage to get in a relationship with a girl you've given so much value to after a short time she won't be able to hold that value and she'll either become frustrated and leave or you lose interest quick because she isn't what you though she was all this time. This helped me bridge a major gap wannabe. Kudos!
    In life you get what you put into it.


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