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  1. #1
    GreatDane is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default A critique needed of how I handled a girl's tests

    Here's my story. I'll do my best to be brief and clear.

    I applied the things I've learned from the pua community, and before I knew it a girl I was flirting with fell for me. Like a good boy I was the one making the first physical moves (make out on the 2nd date), planning our dates, avoiding being needy, leading the relationship, and having a blast. We dated for about 2 months and she seemed to love being around me. After 2 months I realized I didn't really love her so I broke up with her.

    Now that the background is set, here is where I would like some feedback. On one of our dates, we went to the park for some stargazing. Too bad it was cloudy, so we just kinda messed around on the jungle gym and whatnot. She kept fleeing away from my presence to go somewhere and do something else. Like literally, just got up and ran off a couple yards. I felt like maybe she was testing me to see if she could take leadership from me. Do you guys agree or do you think I was just taking it a little too serious? Later, after chasing her around for a bit, I got a little fed up and got in my car and left her there alone. After about 10 minutes I drove back and she texted me "I can't believe you left me! Well, I just left the blankets on the bench and started walking" I thought oh goddamnit I blew it. Now she's going to call her dad and have him come pick her up or something, I'm in for it. So I whipped out my flashlight and started looking for her in the dark. Finally I texted her and told her my phone was almost dead so she should show herself. She told me to get the blankets and get back to the car. So, like a guilty child, I followed her orders. As I was walking back to the car she popped out from behind a building with a big grin on her face. I threw the blankets at her, and tackled her playfully. She kinda teased me for getting outfoxed by her. I was relieved that she wasn't really mad about me leaving her, but later in retrospect I realized that she had toyed with my emotions. There she was, having an evil laugh while I was searching around for her and looking like a complete tool. It greatly bothered me, but I never brought it up because I didn't want it to seem like it did. Other nights she would steal my cellphone and hide it places, and I finally told her that it was cute and funny at first, but now it's getting irritating. I started getting very angry about her testing me and that's when I broke up with her. My general feel was that she was doing these things and a few other things to test my reaction, and that I was failing, but I never told her. Was I taking things too seriously, or should I have put my foot down and confronted her with how I felt about her conduct? Or am I the one to blame for failing to keep my "alphaness" in the midst of her tests?
    My apologies if the post is too long. Don't feel like you have to respond only to my questions either, I would appreciate anything that comes to mind as you read this.

  2. #2
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: A critique needed of how I handled a girl's tests

    That sounds more than just testing - essentially it's juvenile behaviour and I can understand why you would get annoyed. I would too. Womens testing is more along the lines of verbal like 'If I was in trouble would you protect me?'. Leaving a girl alone in a park is bad form all round though. Whether that was a test or not is irrelevent - you just should not ditch a girl in a park. Some tests might not be premeditated...like lets say its starts raining...if you react by whining and complaining and not sharing an umbrella a girl might not like that, whereas if you quickly act by sheltering her with your coat and running under a canopy and then into a cafe for hot chocolate she might admire your thoughfulness. Or you're in her car and she gets a flat tyre, you get out and fix it easily and quickly because you are the alpha boy scout that knows how to do that. Girls arent always going around thinking up tests for us...they will lead guys on because they can be mean and love the attention, they will usually throw in some verbal/emotional tests when you start dating 'How many people have you slept with....do you think my best friend samantha is hot?' but hiding mobile phones and running off in a park is immature, actually irresponsible and could certainly be annoying. I dont think you're overeacting, I would break off with a girl like that too if she was hiding my phone or leaving me stranded in a park unsure where she is. It's childish.

  3. #3
    GreatDane is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: A critique needed of how I handled a girl's tests

    Thanks for the feedback. I guess it was pretty bad to leave her like that, so we both had our shortcomings.


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