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  • 1 Post By sosa
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Thread: LOST the POWER...how to get it BACK!?

  1. #1
    Strider is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default LOST the POWER...how to get it BACK!?

    Here's my current dilemma, and the 3 years I've been in Pick Up...I've never encountered anything like this. Or any advice on how to deal with it.

    Since the day she told me about another guy she slept with. I've felt SO AFC.

    (We weren't exclusive, she's gone to University, we hadn't seen eachother in 10 weeks...she fucked someone. Told me about it. I forgave.)

    But since that day, the scales have tipped in her favour.

    I'm the one essentially putting in about 70% of the effort now. She's playing "busy"...yet when it suits her, she will call me to talk. And it will be like we are when we're together. Lovely, comfortable and flirty. Not "friend zone" by any means.

    Saw her for the first time in 10 weeks on Friday. We walked our city together. Kissing. Hugging. Affectionate. I met her parents. Saw her new house. Watched her get ready, she kept coming over and kissing me while I waited on her bed. I had to leave.

    NOTHING. No text. No "My parents really like you". Not a fucking peep.

    She now holds the power. No matter how much I try to play aloof, she doubles the ignoring. But I KNOW she cares about me, and I know she can see a future between us. But I feel like she's fucking gaming me now!?

    It's like she's doing Hot and Cold on me. She's push-pulling my emotions like a fucking pro.

    I can't seem to see a way of getting my power back. Any power back.

    Because now my fear is, if I play it too cool again, she'll do the same thing she did before...fuck another guy.

    It's only a week until she's home from college for Christmas. I know she'll want to spend time with me when she's back, because she hasn't got a lot else going on back home.

    But this week man, I can feel it being the same as last...a dark, lonely, obsessive place. A place I thought I put behind me.

    If I had ZERO knowledge of Game, when I saw her on Friday I would have told her how much I care about her. How much I want her in my life. But I knew that would ultimately eliminate any excitement for her towards me...no more "will we, won't we" which I know girls love at a base level.

    My big question now....

    HOW DO I GET THAT ATTRACTION BACK!? How do I get her wanting to text me all the time again like she used to!? How do I get her to see me like she used to!??! HOW DO I GET THE POWER BACK OVER LONG DISTANCE.

    WHY am I putting in the effort when SHE was the one who fucked up, SHE should be trying to keep me keen and sweet.


    Getting angrier by the minute,
    Strider.

  2. #2
    Fuser is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: LOST the POWER...how to get it BACK!?

    I remember your thread about this man, I am sorry to hear things have taken a turn for the worse. Unfortunately you have developed feelings for her as you said, so things are being extra difficult for you. You are an Alpha male, you can't be obsessed about this girl fucking someone else if you play the game. My advice would be to step out of the box and play her like you would any other girl in your 3 year PUA experience. You have to risk losing her to keep her. You know that.

    So if this was ANY other chick, what would the next step be? Freeze Out? Showing dhv by ditching her for another girl?

  3. #3
    Strider is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: LOST the POWER...how to get it BACK!?

    Yeah I guess I'd freeze her out...

    My value is the crazy thing. This isn't arrogant but my value is SO fucking high it alone should be enough for someone to want to be with me. Celebrity friends, in the film business, I have fan pages and girls stalk my twitter feed. My value is SO high.

    I've got written in my iPhone a series of bullet points to keep myself positive and out of the "darkness".
    -If she doesn't make contact with you she doesn't really care anyway, for whatever reason. Get over it. Don't chase ANY woman.

    I'm now adding your line Fuser:
    - You have to risk losing her to keep her.


    Thanks man.

  4. #4
    Fuser is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: LOST the POWER...how to get it BACK!?

    You know what man, live by it. She will be back, just freeze her out. I think you know what you need to do, but feelings get in the way. Good luck, stay strong, and hey, go pick up some other girls. It won't hurt

  5. #5
    sosa is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: LOST the POWER...how to get it BACK!?

    Quote Originally Posted by Fuser View Post
    You know what man, live by it. She will be back, just freeze her out. I think you know what you need to do, but feelings get in the way. Good luck, stay strong, and hey, go pick up some other girls. It won't hurt
    I agree with fuser. Breaking up with a girl mentally and moving on has gotten the girl back in the past.

  6. #6
    rogue is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: LOST the POWER...how to get it BACK!?

    it's only when you push them out of a warm home when they realize how cold it is outside.

  7. #7
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    flyer1 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: LOST the POWER...how to get it BACK!?

    First of all Strider I am sorry to hear about your dilemma with your lady or so called lady. And the reason I say that is because she really isnít until she gets home and have nothing else but you for good times and entertainment. She is making you second best and doing the touchy feely kissing thing with you so you wonít leave. This may exacerbate the situation but how do you know she isnít with someone when she is at school since she last confessed?


    She now holds the power. No matter how much I try to play aloof, she doubles the ignoring. But I KNOW she cares about me, and I know she can see a future between us. But I feel like she's farking gaming me now!?

    You say you are an alpha male! Alpha males donít play aloof they are aloof! You need to stop treating this situation like itís an exclusive relationship because itís not and you are too overinvested in her especially with all the talk about a future together when she has made no mention of being with you no longer then the time she is at home.


    Because now my fear is, if I play it too cool again, she'll do the same thing she did before...fark another guy.


    If you play it cool she will have sex with another guy. With this thought you are griped in fear of the unknown because how do you know she will do it? And plus if she does she is showing you that she has no respect for you, and you will display having no self-respect either especially if you accept her back like before.

    An alpha male refused to be disrespected and doesnít care what others think or do. We are independent self-reliant, and make our own happiness. We donít let others control us by dictating our moods and telling what to think or say.

    WHY am I putting in the effort when SHE was the one who farked up, SHE should be trying to keep me keen and sweet.

    My advice to you is to start dating other women and keep her as a backup when she comes home from school because why would you want to be in an exclusive relationship or even consider marriage to someone who if you try to exert your alpha male traits have sex with other men. If you do this my friend it will keep you staring and crying at the floor many nights like it is now. Quit having a pity party for yourself and get out there and have fun you are way too young for this type of unnecessary stress. And once she sees you having fun and dating other women then and only then will you get your power back with this woman. If this seems harsh itís only because I am telling you what you need to do not and what you want to hear.

    Good luck to you!

  8. #8
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    LockDown is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: LOST the POWER...how to get it BACK!?

    Its called One-itis man.

    You need to go out and get ten other women's phone numbers and fark them if you can. Doesnt matter if they look like her or anything. You said you have high value, so STOP SITTING THERE WAITING FOR HER AND GET OUT THERE! USE YOUR HIGH VALUE TO REPLACE HER!

    No woman is absolutely, positively unique. There are others that will not mess with you.

    Add this to your phone: When your with one woman, you dont think about the other woman.

    Also, in the future... maintain yoru frame when something like this happens. (Look up frame control)

    When she introduced the topic of her sleeping around, she was testing you to see your reaction. If you had not been serious with her (as in an LTR), then you should have not been so concerned... you should have told her that you had done the same. This way, you show her you dont care what/who she does because you are out there too when she is not around.

    IF YOU WERE IN A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP: Then her behavior is unacceptable. She controls you now... and she knows it. You showed you will submit to her. If you were together, and you accept her behavior, you are basically telling her to walk all over you.

    WALK AWAY NOW. THIS IS NOT GOIN GOT GET BETTER!
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde



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