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  1. #1
    juanverde is offline PUA in Training
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    Default can i get her back? actually never had her...

    Ive been talking with this girl for a while, everything was great, and then out of nowhere she gets a BF who is half as cool as me.

    I kind of called her out on it and she says " i never even knew you really liked me"

    i dk if this was too AFC but i basically said "i thought all the times i was asking to hangout was a clue and i never said anything because you never wanted to hangout" (shes a big flake)

    where do i go from here?

  2. #2
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    bmr_id is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: can i get her back??

    first of all, you shouldve amoged the guy before is asked her to commit with her, second, you should fly below the radar and you only tell you like her when you kiss close. Use some boyfriend destroyers to get her back but thats kind of imoral

  3. #3
    juanverde is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: can i get her back??

    i sent her an ecard that said "im glad you found someone lamer than me to date"

    i know what you mean by amoging him, and not to brag or anything but this dude has nothing on me.

    fly under the radar? like should i not say anything more about liking her than what i already said?

  4. #4
    juanverde is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: can i get her back??

    going along with the push/pull theory...

    if she really didnt think i liked her this whole time.. but now she knows.

    could this work in my favor?

  5. #5
    Fuser is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: can i get her back??

    Okay here is my perspective on it. Even though you are superior to this guy, somehow this dude is fucking her and you aren't. Which puts him in the BF position. So take a step back, and approach it like you would with any other girl.

    I would definitely not advice you to tell her anything else about how you feel. And don't send that e-card or whatever. It will come off as NEEDY and AFC. Like you are sore for her finding someone else.

    You need to continue working on attraction. I wish I could say more, but the fact that she always flaked on you is a big ioi. More than likely you are in the friend zone.

  6. #6
    juanverde is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: can i get her back??

    i did approach her like any other girl, kiss closed her the 2nd time we hungout, had her saying she wanted to bang and all that.

    but she was fresh out of a relationship and would always put up a wall, so i would freeze her out.

    the only time i said i liked her was when i found out she had this new bf.

    i actually congratulated her the day i found out, and she asked when we were gonna hangout??

  7. #7
    Fuser is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: can i get her back??

    Oh that's good background info to have man. Left that out in your first post.

    Okay, so clearly the attraction is there, what was probably missing was comfort. Let me ask you, what is your goal with her? F-close? Date her?

  8. #8
    juanverde is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: can i get her back??

    my bad. we do have mad chemistry in person. we met because we stared at eachother across the room in class lol

    at first, i treated it like i didnt want a GF, and was just having fun.

    now i want to date her.

    not having the comfort makes sense, please elaborate on that!

  9. #9
    Fuser is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: can i get her back??

    Well, there are stages right. So you clearly had the attraction which is why she hung out with you and kissed, wanted to fuck, etc. But you are missing the comfort. Meaning that even though the 'chemistry' was there, she was not fully comfortable with you one way or another. There was no connection. Now this might not be your fault seeing as how she was fresh off a relationship. You need to build comfort while maintaining the initial attraction you built. This isn't always easy, but you need to maintain your alpha status while connecting with her on some more personal level. Here is where push/pull will help.

    Right now, for the purpouse of this situation I would recommend that you start with the silly texting/flirting again (regain that attraction) and don't telegraph your interest too heavily. Maybe, just maybe play a triangle. Talk to her about another girl in class that you are dealing with or whatever. Remember, you need to get back the attraction if lost and then work it again.

    I would like to hear the expert's opinions on this one tho.

  10. #10
    juanverde is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: can i get her back??

    i would like to hear some expert opinions also.

    i did start to dabble in the bf destroyer.

    i said i felt like a jerk for sending that dumb ecard and that her bf is probably perfect for her and that he must be awesome if she chose to date him...

    good start?


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