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  • 1 Post By aeromyth
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Thread: What do you expect from a girlfriend?

  1. #1
    aeromyth is offline PUA in Training
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    Default What do you expect from a girlfriend?

    Hey all,

    Following my latest misadventures with some nasty chick, I have decided to take a break for a bit and think about what I really want and what I am really looking in a girl. Take this as some kind of self-reflection exercise.

    First of all, I will start by saying that I have been learning about PUA in order to get a gf and not for doing ONS or picking up a different girl every week/month...

    I guess I am just looking for a reasonable girl whom I can trust and have fun with. Heck, I don't even care if she's HB6 or 7 as long we get along and she doesn't play shit and mind games on me.

    Truth is, all the girls I have met so far are either immature, crazy, high maintenance/demanding, manipulative, arrogant, lazy, depressive/negative (brings-you-down-type of person), slutty/cheaty, nerdy (aka no-life bookworm), egoistical or simply boring. It seems like most of them have at least of these features. Believe me, I have been trying to get in a new relationship for 3 years now and I have met quite a few girls and none seemed sane, and the few who were sane qualified as HB4 at best. I have many female friends and I can't believe the number of games they play on their bfs.

    What the f*? I don't even hang out in bars or similar places. I should normally be able to find someone suitable... I can't say that I am very demanding on looks but I am quite demanding as regards personality. My ex was a really jealous and abusive person and I never want to deal with someone like her, so I am more picky about my relationships (even friends).

    So, do you think I am wrong somewhere? THIS IS NOT A RANT! I am just wondering if I am expecting too much or if I need to look elsewhere. Is it my social network (successful with high expectations, and therefore high requirements)? Is it because I am not looking hard enough? I really don't know...

    Any advice or opinion is welcome.
    Cheers, mates!

    PS: I am in 29 in case you are wondering about my age-group.

  2. #2
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    hairypua is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: What do you expect from a girlfriend?

    Quote Originally Posted by aeromyth View Post
    Truth is, all the girls I have met so far are either immature, crazy, high maintenance/demanding, manipulative, arrogant, lazy, depressive/negative (brings-you-down-type of person), slutty/cheaty, nerdy (aka no-life bookworm), egoistical or simply boring. It seems like most of them have at least of these features. Believe me, I have been trying to get in a new relationship for 3 years now and I have met quite a few girls and none seemed sane, and the few who were sane qualified as HB4 at best. I have many female friends and I can't believe the number of games they play on their bfs.
    Truth is, you're always gonna be lonely if you keep looking for the 'perfect' girl. Every woman, every man has equal parts of good and bad in them. If you keep looking for all the negatives you will find them and you will not be satisfied. Instead of looking for a girl that is not all of these qualities, begin looking for woman that have qualities that you want. I too was looking for a gf and i made a decent little list: Intelligence, looks, can take a joke, likes to party, has a connection with me, cooks and can entertain me. There are millions of girls that fit my description and it wasn't hard for me to find one. If you try looking for a girl that is perfect, you'll never find her, sorry.

  3. #3
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    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: What do you expect from a girlfriend?

    It is possible that your standards are unrealistic. One of the important things I learned when it came to finding someone was acceptance. You have to learn to accept someone, even the parts that aren't so easy to like. I mean, she has to accept certain things about you right? Or would you want her to completely reshape you to fit her?

    I actually dated someone who was addicted to prescription pills because I figured if I could accept her, I could accept anyone. I never ONCE told her to not take them. All I told her that it was her life so it's her choice, BUT not to do it around me. So of course she wants to spend time with me so she didn't.

    Wasn't perfect though. After a couple of months of dating we had a two week relationship. So it ended fast. Plus she did sneak a few pills while we were out at a club. Nonetheless I left the relationship feeling good because I no longer wanted to "save" or change my girlfriends. It's about acceptance.

    My current LTR is pretty sensitive. She often threatens to break up. I handle it well by brushing it off because I know she is just being emotional. But it does wear on me. She says things that I usually wouldn't put up with. Her emotions can really break away at me like water on a dam. BUT she is ambitious, motivated, affectionate, and thoughtful. She is going for her masters soon, young, no kids, half brazilian, doesn't drink or go to clubs, and comes from a good family. So I can accept those emotional things she has. It's part of the deal basically.

    As for trust, you have to first trust yourself. Trust that any issues will come up in time and that you will walk away if it's that bad. Trust yourself to take any red flags you see as serious. Such as constant partying, drinking, drugs, history of abuse or violence. Does she value herself on her accomplishments or is her value based on how much attention she gets? These are things I learned as I went on and I just turned 25. Yes, there are always exceptions, however if you see a few red flags then it's safe to say that things won't get very far. If it's just one issue and you walk out on her so easily then she could've been truly the one you've been searching for...and you just gave up without a fight.

    If I had been a girl about it and walked away, like a baby, when my gf said we should part ways then we wouldn't have earned each others trust and progressed. Things are shaky in the beginning especially when feelings first start to come in. It can be scary. You have to push past it and work things out.

    I know this was a bit long winded and there's still more to say, but I wanted to give out as much as I could and let you know to never give up hope.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  4. #4
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    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: What do you expect from a girlfriend?

    i couldn't agree more with batman, you need to make a list of good qualities that you want and make sure every girl you meet has several of them. every girl has the potential to be great, you just have to bring out the best in them. judging their every imperfection will only lead to you being lonely. trust me we don't just date girls who meet all of our standards, hell i lost my v-card to a clingy hb4, (not something i'm real proud of) but we all have times when our standards prevent us from having the success we want.


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