i dont know how cliche this story may sound but here it is:
so theres a girl ive been cool w/ since the beginning of college(few yr, i know), shes pretty damn attractive in general and most of the time we were together we were studying... it seemed kinda clear, just over time that we were just friends
now, over the last month of so in preparing for exams, she seemed a bit more playful (leaning on my shoulder, physical), unlike when we first met... i read this as maybe she was slightly interested. also, i found out more about her and her interests, and realized that she was someone id really would like to go out w/ rather than being just cool with. so recently i gathered up the courage to let her know how she made me feel, and all she said was aww thanks, then as she was leaving to go home, i turned around, in the rain, ran back to her, and attempted to kiss her but only got her cheek... later i got hit with the "i dont wanna lose you as a good friend" text
now, days after, i still feel miserable, even though i thought this would be something i would shrug off... i think the thing is the fact that ive known her a while, and just recently realized that "hey i really like this girl". i think where i messed up is that i wasn't upfront about it from the start, and i think i'll start doing that from now on. now im thinking that this will always be in the back of my mind, just that moment of getting rejected, while its raining! the one benefit from this is im glad i tried that in the first place rather than not doing anything at all
does me still feeling ****ty even after a while mean that i really was into her? for some reason i cant stop replaying it in my mind, and the fact that weve known each other for a while makes me seem like alot of my time was not put to good use (though we'll still be friends)
you guys think that moment will eventually fade away?
sorry for the long post and i feel weird even posting stuff like this on a forum site just b/c you never know who's watching lol (this is my first time ever posting something of this nature online)