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  • 2 Post By hairypua

Thread: Messed up my first shot, MIGHT have another; Please help

  1. #1
    eo83o is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Messed up my first shot, MIGHT have another; Please help

    Hi all,

    I would first like to note that I am a freshman at a math and science university, and, as you might expect, a lot of the students there have little to no dating experience, my self included. The girl I am interested in is Korean, although she attended an all girls Catholic boarding school in the states. She comes off as extremely shy, and I suspect that she does not have a ton of dating experience either.

    Anyway, about a month and a half ago, I somehow managed to start talking to her, and we studied in the library together. Afterwards, she gave me her number (although this is common practice in my school, so at the time I was not sure if it was a huge ioi). From that point on, whenever I would run into her, she would seem to go out of her way to say hi, but she seemed very nervous about doing it. At the time, I was just getting into the PUA community/dating scene, and I made the huge mistake of not trying to get closer to her, out of sheer nerves and anxiety. Throughout this time, I would occasionally message her on FB, but she was always slow to respond, and sometimes would not at all. However, she would also sometimes reply very eagerly and invitingly. This only added to my confusion. Looking back on this time period, I feel that she was expressing interest, and that I could have done something if I would have sucked it up and went for it; sadly, I was not mentally prepared to do this at the time.

    Eventually, she started being pursued by a much more woman-savvy classmate of mine, and she seemed to be very interested. She also stopped greeting me when I ran into her; I was devastated. During this time, I avoided talking to her much because I did not want to lose the tiny amount of progress I had made.

    Now, the classmate that was pursuing her has told me that he is no longer interested (which makes sense because he seems to be very high energy and outgoing, and she is quite quiet and shy), and that he is basically cutting off communication with her until she gets it. I'm sure she is going to be feeling disappointed, and I feel that I might have another chance to make something happen. However, I do NOT want to make the same mistakes again, and I am therefore asking for your wisdom. Do I:

    1) Come on strong (seems risky because she is very shy and I could imagine her being scared off by this)
    2) Take it slow (seems more sensible, but I'm not sure how to basically "restart" our interactions; in other words, I don't know how I can just start talking to her and slowly expressing interest without scaring her off or making her think I'm a creep)

    I have become much more self-confident over the last 2 months or so, but I am hesitant to try a bunch of the mainstream techniques discussed on this forum because, as I said, she has limited dating background/is very shy, and I have no idea how she will react to such behavior.

    Thank you for reading this (way too) long post, and I greatly appreciate any advice you may have for me.

  2. #2
    hairypua's Avatar
    hairypua is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Messed up my first shot, MIGHT have another; Please help

    Just come on strong so to speak. You never really made any mistakes. In fact your problem is that you did nothing, you made no advances. Stop worrying about whether or not she's interested, SHE IS INTERESTED. Now take that piece of knowledge and give her some game, you need to be the man in the relationship, she's just waiting for you to step up and invite her over or take her out. If you invite her over, make sure there are no sexual implications (yet) and just try to get her more comfortable around you. Start climbing the escalation ladder. Over the years i've made up a few of my own tricks. When you're studying at the library ask her to let you see her hand, grab it and begin (fake) palm reading "this means you'll have a long life, this means you'll have 3 kids blah blah blah" and in the meantime you carress and massage her hand and give her a little bit of pleasure. And then do something like, ask her if you can draw on her arm (draw something cute) and again give her pleasure - trace your finger tips along the inside of her elbow. After that just keep talking to her, ask for more hugs, keep the atmosphere sexual. Ask to give her a back massage or something and then make sure she reciprocates. Or just skip the slow play and in the middle of hanging out ask her "Would it be hella awkward if i tried to kiss you?", if she says no kiss her, if she says yes kiss her anyways because fark what makes her uncomfortable. It's simple, if she's interested you'll know and if she's not she'll confront you about it. I've found it's alot easier to kiss a girl if u just say it... Good luck man, hopefully this helps in some way or another. If you get turned down, no big, just find another asian girl :3

  3. #3
    eo83o is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Messed up my first shot, MIGHT have another; Please help

    Thanks a lot for the advice! I needed the confidence.

  4. #4
    hairypua's Avatar
    hairypua is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Messed up my first shot, MIGHT have another; Please help

    No problem man, let us know how it goes.
    Everyday striving to bring out and perfect my inner natural game


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