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  • 1 Post By blazeboy

Thread: Confusing situation (good and bad)

  1. #1
    Volkov-V2 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Confusing situation (good and bad)

    Hey Everyone

    I'm trying to get this girl in my life, as spoken from my previous thread. The reason why I'm doing this new one is so people can give me help on how to move things forward. this girl loves and will give her heart to this one guy i know, but at the same time she does love me in a way. at the beginning I've been very dominant and Alpha male, aswell as confident. The thing about this girl is I know we should never show our emotions or our nice-guy side. but with this girl I can do and she does accept them. she like it, but if i ever do get her I will return to the Alpha Male. because I can do both. she does have a BF but they are on a break and he's to pussy whipped to do anything. I've started things slow and not been an idiots. we've got the the park, took her to a few cafes. and even stayed at her a a few times just us. and at mine.

    The question I want to ask everyone is should I continue on trying for this girl. or do I move on, because i do like her and she does return my feelings back, that's the reason. at the beginning I was serious that's what nearly lost her because I asked her are you serious about these feelings for me or are you just using me as a friend(zone). we had an argument, because she said that she have very strong feelings for me just didn't know what she wanted as she has feelings for her BF now, the boy she likes and me.

    beside I know I would be the right guy for her because I have never cheated on any of my GF before and never plan to. I know how to take care of her. but an important one is I can read her very well, I'm the only guy that knows about her past, her feelings, but also her subliminal messages she sends. even her BF and the others guy have no clue what they are.

    so if anyone is reading this I really would like some help. as I'm very good at failing things like this at the last moment.

    thanks everyone

  2. #2
    blazeboy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Confusing situation (good and bad)

    I think you are definitely in the friend zone right now. She genuinely likes your company but is not viewing you as a boyfriend. I would not have gone the route of sharing your feelings for her, especially when she was dating someone. She knows she can have you whenever she wants. My advice to you, is to start pulling back. And start hanging out with other women, and get an active social life going. Once she sees she is missing out, and that you have your own life, that will become attractive to her... especially if she breaks up with her boyfriend. Also, if she is a "good" girl, it seems a bit sleazy that you are sharing your feelings and making the moves... at least to her. Because she knows you know she has a boyfriend, and you are being very obvious about your feelings. Hope that helps.
    The world is your matrix. You control the strings.

  3. #3
    Volkov-V2 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Confusing situation (good and bad)

    yea man it really does I guess. I see what you mean. The thing is it's not like I'm stopping myself from having a social life. because I do do everything out there. but I see your point and might start to pull back abit after this week. because were kinda talking about it all at the moment. but in a way she hasn't put me in the friend-zone because we have had intimate moments. and she still wants them. or is she just using me for benefits in a way.

  4. #4
    Volkov-V2 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Confusing situation (good and bad)

    hey BlazeBoy. I was meant to go to her house to stay over tonight as she is alone meaning we got the house to ourselves. today she went on a mate date, but still texted me half way through, she said something really bad that would have made me drop her like a mud on a path. but i know I can in a way get her. just don't know what to do. it's like every time I don't think of her I'm confident and dominate, but the minute i hear about her going out with my friend just pisses me off to the bone. also she keep delaying everything off, I know she's busy and stuff. I just in a way don't know what to do. I don't want to let her go because I worked so hard to get her. but I can't be bother of getting hurt all the time by this woman, that I truly care about.

    but i know what you mean through the first message mate about the friend-zone thing i do feel like I'm in the friend-zone but at the same time i don't because we have done more things. just so confused :/

  5. #5
    Volkov-V2 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Confusing situation (good and bad)

    Hey BlazeBoy all the advise you given have been working . I've even applied the Push-Pull theory in many ways as I was meant to take her somewhere special but she was too tired and didn't want to go anywhere. so I pretty much said to her nicely. fair enough if you want will cancel today and I'll plan something for next week.

    she replies with: No I don't want to cancel. if you want pick me up at and will stay at yours and just watch a movie. I can even stay longer.

    we moved forward together and I pray that i'll keep on the right track . thank for everything man.

  6. #6
    ConnorMaxwell72 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Confusing situation (good and bad)

    Hey Volkov,

    I'm not going to lie, it was a little hard reading what you wrote, but I think I have the gist of it.

    From what it sounds to me (and I do apologize if I'm wrong) that you have been around a few different forums and PUA sites and read about all these different theories and practices but never really tried them out or perfected them. In which case, I kind of got the impression that you've read about this stuff and thrown it at her and are genuinely getting some kind of response from it. However, I think because you've tried a bunch of a stuff without really perfecting the "art", you're starting to confuse the hell out of her.

    I do think you have the "itis". Which is ok, if this is where you want to put all your effort. It seems that you're into playing this "game" into manipulating her to get what you want out of it... is it really genuine? What's going to happen after you "win this game"? I see you keep giving this play by play of what she did, but there are also a lot of neutral answers and "justifying" why you should keep doing this.

    If all this is is some game you've giving meaning in order to try and snag her, I can't really help you.

    You are friend zoned, you did mess up by sharing your feelings, but also in your conquest of her you've started down a path of manipulation. Most PUA who go down this path find it unfulfilled and not genuine, in which case it wont last. What's going to happen when she sees this isn't you?

    Food for though, sorry if this isn't the case at all. Just my observations.

    CM

  7. #7
    Volkov-V2 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Confusing situation (good and bad)

    Hey man thanks for the comment. no you are totally right. I just don't know what to do. it was going all that great, until yesterday. her EX-BF took my phone without permission and look at my SMS, he then ran to her mums house and showed her all the texts, now her family hate me and I'm scared I'm about to lose her. I don't want to lose this girl as she means the world to me. even more so then my ex-gf. I giving her some space now to relax. but I just don't know what to do anymore. because if I lose her I just feel like it would be the end. there are plenty of fish in the sea, but I don't want to give up an angel knowing I was so close of showing her my heart. I know I showed my feelings, but she returned then back that was the thing. last night she told me that she just wanted to be friend and we weren't allowed to be alone together ever again. but I know last night she cried because I know we both don't want to say goodbye to what we have. I just can't bear the thought of losing her. I just want her in my life and be the man for her as I know I can be. ;(. I know I sound like a beta-bitch and probably am but I just can't help knowing she is the one. we've been more many dates and seen alot of things together. I just want to be her BF ConnorMaxwell72. how would I get her then without playing the game over and over . it just seems I failed again and lost her. I can't eat, sleep, feel weak, just wanting to know where I stand in this. please explain someone.

  8. #8
    ConnorMaxwell72 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Confusing situation (good and bad)

    Listen man, take a step back and really listen to what you just said. They call this having the "itis", or being so hooked on someone, that you're overly attached and are absolutely convinced that they are "the one". But I'm about to drop some massive knowledge on your head: There absolutely is no such thing as "the one". Everything you think you know about "the one" is something you've completely attached some kind of meaning to (and probably because movies and people like Nicolas Sparks don't do anything to help -- "the one" is something fabricated by Hollywood). But, really sit down and let this sink in-- you're not "in love" with her, you're in love with how she makes you feel. And this logic of "there's plenty of fish in the sea" is exactly right. There are so many people in this world... Trust me, there are PLENTY of people that can make you feel that exact same way as she did. The odds are so HIGHLY stacked in your favor, that I would bet my reputation and give you my kidney if you didn't find someone at some point in your life.

    Listen, you sound young. You have your whole life to figure all this sh!t out. You're talking about her parents getting involved.. you know, ex boyfriends trying to meddle around, text messages, and this whole story of justifying how you feel. And you do it because it feels good to be justified, it feels good to try and attach some meaning and purpose behind everything that happens. And frankly, it's the same thing I said last time. I don't think you're really looking this from the outside and how the situation really is... and to a point that's expected because you have a lot of investment and a lot of feelings attached to the situation. But at the same time, this makes it so you can't think clearly at all about any of this. But I'll tell you this --- It's not just part of being "alpha", but part of being a man is knowing when to stop playing the "game". Know that the situation isn't going well, it's not working out and... (be ready for this)---> know when to walk away. Regardless of what emotions you have or what kind of investment you have in this person, it's not working. By being able to do this you're displaying control over yourself and control over your emotions. That is one of the biggest qualities women look for in men. That's why being "beta" doesn't get you anywhere.

    The ball is in your court man. You can either keep making excuses to go down this path and continually rake yourself over the coals about this, or realize that this whole situation is having a hugely negative impact on your life (i.e. you're not eating, feeling weak, not sleeping) and you need to step up, be a man, and walk away. Having this kind of emotional discipline will bring exactly the kind of people you want in your life.

    ... Or, you can go down this path of trying to learn how to manipulate someone you really care about into getting the results you want. And that's exactly it. You're going to manipulate her to get what you want. Is that really what you want from her? Do you want her to be happy? Do you want her to be upset all the time about this? What happens when you get what you want because you manipulated her? Then what? Go down this path and I'll tell you it's a shallow and meaningless existence. Step up, realize what's going on, and make the decision you're afraid to.

    No man was ever born from being safe.


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