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Thread: Question, How to get over jealousy?

  1. #1
    Mr West's Avatar
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    Default Question, How to get over jealousy?

    Not sure if this is the right section but I think it will work.

    I should start off by admitting I am a jealous person when it comes to women, and I hate it. I don't want to be like this at all and I know it displays my weakness, but I do hide it well.

    A typical scenario is I'm talking to/dating a girl and she goes out to a party or bar ad I'm stuck home, or even out with my friends. I feel like she should be with me giving me attention and not with her friends or whoever. Usually if I have another girl with me though I don't mind so much. Also I always tend to have the predisposition a girl will cheat on me, although it has yet to ever happen. Trust issues maybe?

    I know this is beta and low but I feel like I need to admit it and work past it to improve my game, and it's also distracting to my normal life.

    Any ideas, tips, or comments to help. Be as honest as you want b
    -There's no future in your past

  2. #2
    Vicodin24's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question, How to get over jealousy?

    I know where you're coming from. I was like that when I used to really have feelings for women...now I'm almost emotionless. Don't get me wrong - there a few in my life that I have some feelings for, but I keep it closed off. Not the best thing in the world, but I've yet to encounter jealousy again

    Anyway, what really keeps me from feeling it with them is this philosophy or whatever that I've learned from my dad:

    You have my trust until your first mistake.

    You CAN apply parenting techniques to dating. Obviously this isn't something you'd voice to your girl, but you can show it or hint on it. It's meaningless unless you can adapt the Mindset, though.
    Always leave her better than you found her.

  3. #3
    Mr West's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question, How to get over jealousy?

    That's what I want to feel, although girls can be very sneaky though, but it's like i can't get it into my mind. I want to become emotionless and not give a shit, not in a bad r harmful way though. Is this something that over time and more girls will subside? Or is it something that needs to be worked on
    -There's no future in your past

  4. #4
    Vicodin24's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question, How to get over jealousy?

    It's a mix of everything. In my case, it took being hurt as an AFC to be able to flip the switch. Then I met a bunch of different women, found the forums and started working on myself. It took time, but it's doable. Start with the goal of adopting the Mindset. Read this, too - http://www.puaforums.com/how-pick-up...ame-rules.html
    Always leave her better than you found her.

  5. #5
    blazeboy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Question, How to get over jealousy?

    All good comments guys. My thoughts on this West is that self realization is more than half the battle. I'm 37 and that applies to so many things in life. The more you self reflect, admit your weakness, and strive to improve it, you are 90% of the way there. jealousy inflicts us all, but i think it's particularly bad when you are younger. I'm at a point where i've dated a bunch of younger hot girls past few relationships and literally i don't bat an eye. I'm completely emotionaless and I think to myself how i was like the girls that are jealous in my youth. It's crazy. But it's something i had to work on too.... and just realize, shit, being jealous is really unproductive crap. what's the point? life's too short to be worrying about what chick is or isn't going to do. and I agree with V... i go with the assumption that if i'm dating a chick, i give her the benefit of the doubt until she proves me wrong... sure you open yourself to getting hurt more, but i rather let my sheit out there than not.
    The world is your matrix. You control the strings.

  6. #6
    hyp
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    Default Re: Question, How to get over jealousy?

    ^^^
    do not underestimate the above, if it passes of as "oh ok" it shouldn't, if you want to overcome this you'll most likely need to be crushed a few times to not care of the outcome, a fair few people including myself have gone down this road, and come out pretty well at the top and not caring (y)

    GG
    http://www.puaforums.com/game/17868-...screw-ups.html

  7. #7
    SOUTH_FL_PUA is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Question, How to get over jealousy?

    A key for me to not getting jealous is not getting into an exclusive relationship.
    Anytime you go completely exclusive with anyone, there is going to be at least a tiny bit of jealousy because you gave up all your options to be with that person.
    At least that's how it is for me..
    .-* WWWEEE *-.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Question, How to get over jealousy?

    Ya I mean I've been Hirt a good amount of times. I'm actually feeling much better lately though. I think my problem is that I get it into me head that she "might" be a potential gf, and then it's like that shit digs down to my subconscious so I start getting jealous. I think I just need to not focus on that at all times and I should be good.

    And thanks you guys! You really helped!
    -There's no future in your past

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Question, How to get over jealousy?

    I'm super jealous, and I've been cheated on twice- which doesn't help. I've also cheated on girls, and I've heard it said that a person who tells you constantly not to do something may be saying it due to their own guilt. Something like that anyway- its in the book never be lied to again.

    I'm thinking maybe when both members of the relationship have deep core values? Or they're both grown developed people, but honestly I just don't know! I'm still a jealous mofo with girls I actually really care fore


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