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  1. #1
    legendary28 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default advice on what to do after the 1st date

    Hello guys,

    I need some ideas from you. I went out on a date with a girl. I told her then that I would like to make her my gf but after that I continued not show myself interested and I acted as if I was talking to a male friend. We kept in touch. I called her and the conversation was like before and when I asked out again she found some excuses not to go.
    So what should I do next in order to get another date? Should I disqualify myself as a suitor, because she I think I am predictable now. Should I tease her and create attraction or Push-Pull and stuff like that? What should I do..
    I actually don't feel very attracted to this girl, but she is wife material. She is a good and quiet girl and she is also very rich, so I don't want to give up on her.

    Thanks in advance

  2. #2
    Dave-o is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: advice on what to do after the 1st date

    Sounds like you disqualified yourself with your actions anyway, if you acted like she was a male friend, rather than the woman that you want to be dating.

    I think the clue is in the fact that you are not very attracted to her. You might think that she has qualities which are solid and you want to have in a future woman but the lack of attraction will count against any future relationship. I think too that you're being a bit derogatory against women by describing a 'wife' type, why not just enjoy each woman for her personal qualities without needing to express whether they would be a good wife or not?

    The good sides will only last so long, and then any attraction you have, both physical and in terms of her character will kick in. And if there's not enough to keep you interested then you will realise and then want the relationship to be over, by which time, she might be invested in you and it makes any break up much more difficult.

    I think you need to think about why you really want a relationship with someone that you're not attracted to first off.

    I would say that if you are really keen, perhaps the best way is to try to rebuild the interest over a period of time and not jumping back in to dating. Play interested but keep her curious as to your feelings, try to see if there is a spark and talk about your plans for the week and days ahead. If she seems interested with your plans, like say you want to go to a restaurant and she starts talking enthusiastically about the place, you could then ask if she wanted to go with you etc

    If some of this post seems hard then it's only because I want you to think about how much you really want to be seeing this woman. You have to be true to yourself, and if you're not so fussed, then find a different woman who may not have those 'wife' qualities that you've discussed but may instead share your sense of humour, that will be attractive to you and that you can enjoy the time you spend together with her... I think those qualities are far more important in any woman for a potential relationship.

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