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  • 1 Post By aeromyth

Thread: Help me with this situation plz... possible trouble

  1. #1
    aeromyth is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Help me with this situation plz... possible trouble

    Hey guys,

    I have this bad feeling that I am about to get myself in trouble and I do not know what to do.

    Basically, I have been hanging with a co-worker of mine (same age, 29) for a while now (more than a year). She is in a relationship with a lousy guy who doesn't do any activities with her. Of course, her being in a relationship AND a co-worker, it never crossed my mind to ever start flirting with her (nor did I ever see her as a potential gf).

    Things started changing lately, but in a natural way. At first, we were just talking about our personnal problems (she was complaining about her bf and she was listening to my stories and dates). However, more recently (since January), we have been hanging together much more often: going to nightclubs just the 2 of us, going to meetup groups together, going for drinks or to some restaurant, etc. We almost text or briefly phone each other everyday (even though we also see each other at the office) for trivial things.

    Now, she's still with her dude and I am still dating other girls (no LTR for me though, still looking, lol). However, her relationship is in a "terminal phase" if I might say. The guy wants to leave the country and is actively looking for a job elsewhere. It's just a matter of time until he finds something. On the other hand, she doesn't want to follow him, so I guess they will have to break up at some point.

    I just noticed that she's acting a bit more flirty with me lately. I still play it cocky/funny because I love to tease her but I never thought about her as something more than a friend. Given her current situation, I am wondering if she has already started looking for her next relationship.

    Things are flowing so naturally between us that many people mistake us for a couple and are quite surprised when we tell them we aren't. Truth is, there are extremely few girls with whom I have reached that level of connection (and this is super important to me as I cannot bring myself to have sex with a stranger).

    There are some red flags to take into account:

    * She is very indecisive. She keeps criticising her bf but still stays with him. She even met 2 other dudes thanks to me (whom she dated twice each), but she would still rather stay with her douchebag. On the other hand, she keeps saying that it's not the right guy for her and that it will not be her life-time partner.
    * She has a history of getting herself in love triangle situations (ok, only once but still)...
    * She has some stupid bitch friends who are in multiple relationships simultaneously and that encourage her to do the same.
    * Even if her bf is not perfect, I do not like the way she also treats him. It would be too long to explain but basically he's the one making most of the compromises.



    My instinct tells me that it is better for us to stay friends. Then again, I tell myself that it would be a shame because we are so compatible with each other. And she won't be a co-worker for long, so that part is solved.

    However, I don't want to be the rebound guy that will get dumped as soon as she finds someone else... Or even to find myself in a love triangle situation...

    What to do??? (even though I think I replied to my own question)
    Some advice from people who were in similar situations, please?

    Thanks
    Cheers

  2. #2
    Thatoneguyonforums's Avatar
    Thatoneguyonforums is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Help me with this situation plz... possible trouble

    Yeah, if you just want to get some you probably could. But you want a little something more from the relationship, and from what you've said about her friends and her previous relationships you probably won't get much more. I've been in similar situations, some girls will complain about their boyfriends even if they are great guys and treat them right. And if she's willing to go behind her boyfriends back to go out to clubs with you and date two other guys, whats stopping her from doing the same to you? I try not to fall for their sob stories about their boyfriends, because a lot of times they are perfectly regular guys and she's just overly dramatic, and nobody wants to deal with an overly dramatic person, platonic or otherwise. I'd say practice on her, try to get as far as you can game-wise. Just don't get to invested. Good luck.
    "Act like you're interested, not like you care."

  3. #3
    aeromyth is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Help me with this situation plz... possible trouble

    Quote Originally Posted by Thatoneguyonforums View Post
    Yeah, if you just want to get some you probably could. But you want a little something more from the relationship, and from what you've said about her friends and her previous relationships you probably won't get much more. I've been in similar situations, some girls will complain about their boyfriends even if they are great guys and treat them right. And if she's willing to go behind her boyfriends back to go out to clubs with you and date two other guys, whats stopping her from doing the same to you? I try not to fall for their sob stories about their boyfriends, because a lot of times they are perfectly regular guys and she's just overly dramatic, and nobody wants to deal with an overly dramatic person, platonic or otherwise. I'd say practice on her, try to get as far as you can game-wise. Just don't get to invested. Good luck.
    Thanks for the advice, mate! You are definitely right, there's no reason to invest too much in her. I will take whatever comes and avoid worrying about it. Truth is, I have improved my game quite a lot since we have been hanging together. I am more outgoing and I can better hold a conversation while being cocky and funny. She's perfect for practice in that regard. Moreover, she's the perfect wingman as I can approach girls more easily without them getting defensive.

    Actually, I just realised lately that she's out of her mind. She acts flirty with every cute guy she meets (today, it was some cashier) and she's in a "I can get any guy I want" mode.
    She asked me to accompany her to one of her dates. Wtf, what for? I don't want to waste my time, but I do owe her a favor dammit.

    So, as Thatoneguyonforums correctly says, beware of chicks who do things behind their bf's back. There's probably not too much to win by entering into a LTR with them as we could be the next victim.


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