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Thread: Friend with benefits into a girlfriend?

  1. #11
    monkeh87 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Friend with benefits into a girlfriend?

    Bit of an update... I think it may be completely unsalvageable now haha.
    I sent her a text this morning about meeting up, following a similar structure to T-Mal's 'meet up' texts and just got a rather bluntish reply.

    "Hey, sorry I've had a hectic day! I'm sorry Monkeh but I think if we're both agreed it can't go anywhere then maybe it's best to just leave things as they are for now. I'm sorry xx"

    Confusing huh? It seems like she thinks I'm being a bit pushy for a relationship, even though we both agreed that wouldn't work before. Maybe I should make it clear I just want sex at this point...

    Any advice on how I should reply to this? Or even if I should reply at all.

    Any help would be greatly appreciated!

    Thanks

  2. #12
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Friend with benefits into a girlfriend?

    I was about to tell you take your time and capture her attention first then i realized there was a page two.

    it's cuul you took action and at least asked her out

    "Hey, sorry I've had a hectic day!I'm sorry Monkeh but I think if we're both agreed it can't go anywhere then maybe it's best to just leave things as they are for now. I'm sorry xx"

    if you keep pushing for the meetup she might loose respect for you.Did you just go for the meetup or tried to get her attention with text first then meetup.

    if sex is all you want then go for it.but lets be real you kinda like this girl,what would make you agree to the terms that this will not work out.was it her idea.

    a good Mindset to having when asking girls out is not be too focused on the outcome.what happened is nothing.if she says no like she did just move ahead .you may come back l8r.but seriously?

    in my opinion this is how i may reply.you could just say

    cuul.jenn the only reason why am on this is cuz theres something unique aba you..l8r

    cuul:well that didn't phase me woman.
    something unique:she is used to the sex thingy tap her in the opposite direction.
    l8r:am not offended

    the only guarantee i can give you is that that line may make her curious as to what you see, whether she shows it or not either way you will still have a window hence buy more time.with that said i can't stress enough i hope you are focusing on other girls too not just seeing them.

  3. #13
    monkeh87 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Friend with benefits into a girlfriend?

    Thanks for replying HardRock.

    My text that I sent her just went straight for the meetup, maybe not the best idea but I don't think that was the deciding factor.

    I think now I just want to fark her as she is definitely not relationship material but rather good in the sack I just think she thinks I want more than sex for some reason. Last time we were together we both mutually agreed that we would just have a casual relationship which I interpreted as just sex.

    I've got a couple other girls on the go which is important for not getting any one-itis issues but it's just this particular girl that is confusing, I don't even think she knows what she's thinking lol.

    Sorry, I had trouble deciphering the last part of your message where you suggested a reply message. I'm probably not going to reply to her statement as I think it will show that I'm really not bothered about her, which could help me at a later stage.

    Thanks

  4. #14
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Friend with benefits into a girlfriend?

    Since you have shown a huge commitment to this area of your life by taking action and even asking her out,deciding to open your options a little more ill tell you this.

    Never practice asking girls out directly out of the blue(did that sometime,wnt ever again).If a woman attention is not properly gotten through text or phone theres no way they are coming out with you.It doesn't matter whether they were attracted previously.

    A way of definitely capturing a woman attention is by telling her you have an opinion of her and not telling her yet.

    in this situation even if you don't text her anything and go direct another time you might really annoy her. all am saying is whatever you do don't go direct for the meetup again.attract her more and increase the attraction.then meetup.



    review articles on this site on creating attraction in women,asking out them out on dates.focus on what they all do before they get the girls to come out.

    i have this one girl who keeps calling me you know why?just because i told her i have an an observation about her from our first interaction on phone.the only problem is if i accept her and go with it i will have to escalate which i think my plate is kinda full with some campaigns right now.never underestimate the power of a woman wanting to know more no matter what.

    overall you have done well, and if all doesn't go well hey at least you have experience!!.and yes she has not proven to us she is relationship material at all.PEACE.

  5. #15
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    Bandit is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Friend with benefits into a girlfriend?

    Quote Originally Posted by monkeh87 View Post
    Hey chaps,

    I searched but couldn't find much information on this subject... What kind of tactics should be employed to turn a casual sex partner into something more serious?

    I've been seeing this girl for the last month, we were getting very close (met her parents, got massive indicators she wanted a relationship and of course sex) and then she goes cold turkey on me for a week. We met up yesterday for some lunch and ended up coming back to mine where we had sex, after which I asked her where she sees our relationship going. She said that she is scared of being "enclosed" in a relationship at the moment and stressing about her upcoming university exams, but enjoys spending time with me. She also likes the fact I don't just want sex out of her. She said she'd like to just keep our relationship casual as it is now. I asked her how she'd feel if she saw me dating another girl and she said that she would feel a bit sad but she would be okay. I'm not sure how I'd feel if she did the same though.

    Now I'd really like to turn this into more of an exclusive relationship as I've started to get feelings for her and I'm looking for more than sex at the moment.

    Has anyone else been in a similar situation and can give me a bit of advice on how to go about turning this relationship into something more serious? I know most guys would love to be in this situation!

    Thanks!
    This is basically the same situation that got me my girlfriend. To be completely honest, as long as the two of you enjoy each other's company, spend plenty of time alone together, and of course the sex, it's going to happen. Relationships like that always develop feelings. Other than that, I don't really see anything you should change. Don't fix what isn't broken.
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “WOW...What a Ride!”


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