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  • 1 Post By costarica
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Thread: We really are good friends

  1. #1
    goodfather's Avatar
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    Default We really are good friends

    and that's the problem! Its like we have both friendzoned each other simultaneously. Haha! The thing is, its not like we just have an assumption that we're both friendzoned. We are really good friends, so we have both been totally open, honest and comfortable talking about it, and we both realize that there isn't that "zing" there. We have both tried to bring that zing in, but this stuff can't be forced. Right? And what's worse, we both know that each other are damn Awesome!, a total catch, and we actually both want that "zing" because everything would be amazing if it were! But neither one of us can figure out why its missing, nor how to bring it in. The bane of being truly good friends together!
    So what to do? Is this a lost cause? Should we even try to take things further? Is it just going to haphazardly happen one day? This girl is totally cool, and she says the same thing about me, so if there is some way to make it happen, that would be great

  2. #2
    costarica's Avatar
    costarica is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: We really are good friends

    If you are that good of friends, you should have no problem saying to her, "hey. let's go grab a drink and hook up. no strings attached. for scientific purposes."

    Outside of that, if you don't feel a romatic connection at this point, there probably won't be one, so just get the platonic sex out of your system and move on, while keeping a good friendship.

    Nothing is worse than having a female "friend" that you haven't seen naked yet, except having that same friend wanting to now date you....
    - CR

  3. #3
    Mark Cassidy is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: We really are good friends

    There should be a rule:

    Good friends should not have sex and good friends should not get into relationships

    It's simply not good for your health or hers

    Thanks!
    Mark

  4. #4
    BatMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: We really are good friends

    How do you know the waters cold if you don't jump in right? We got one life so live it.

    That "zing" you're talking about I'm assuming means spark. So the spark, in my opinion, comes with...mystery. By being totally open and honest about how you feel about each other is great. I get that and it's rare. But it totally kills the mystery of it. And a big part of attraction is intrigue. Becoming her Rubiks cube that she wants to solve. It's just mentally stimulating when you confuse a woman and she tries to make sense of what kind of man you are. She'll love you for it.

    It may be a bit tricky because she knows a lot about you, but I'm confident you can still create mystery. Work on building that intrigue and you'll get that "zing" you guys have been looking for.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  5. #5
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: We really are good friends

    goodfather i hate you right now because you have missed a lot of windows with a woman who is very open to you .the only reason why it feels akward is that you feel its awkward.You may be kind of nervous which is probably making her nervous too.She such a bad girl.she wants you to lead.acting like she aint guilty.

    first of all you need to begin touching her think Kino!!.When you next see her(date)start doing this immediately.at the end or when you have an opportunity kiss her.

    Don't take her back to your place yet end the date with another deep kiss(if you haven't kissed her already ).remember my friend you are running special game here.She has been a good friend and not going for the sex adds a bit of mystery which will make you more attractive in this case, since it was not like you ended up at yours and you didn't take action.

    After the kiss you should be certain where she stands with you.Treat Her Right!!

  6. #6
    BatMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: We really are good friends

    I would also like to add...

    If you frame sex in a humorous way constantly and never add a serious tone to it then you are essentially using the barrier of humor to give yourself and excuse to talk sexually to her. A confident man will talk sexually to her, but won't constantly add humor to try and "lighten it up." So get serious about sex.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  7. #7
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: We really are good friends

    That is definitely true when compared in some cases.In my experience its beta to always remain unclassifiable .One she realizes that you are the sex type humorous etc. you may become boring Fast!!.

    Additionally once she knows whats goin to happen as in there is the surety of sex happening she can decided whether she is going to continue or not.Girls may catch really subtle clues..quickly.

    Humor,story telling,etc is all a spark to me.If you don't have her attention you dun really have her there.As one is doing all this they can subtly push for sex.either by Kino or utilizing the sexual Tension the spark creates by amplifying it.

  8. #8
    OhSnap is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: We really are good friends

    Remember those movies in where two best of best buddies end up loving themselves at the end ? Yeah that's a real life scenario as well.

    This all depends to you, if you really say you're comfortable with her your wouldn't be here asking a question about why there isn't a ''zing'' with her because if you're trying to figure out if theres a ''zing'' or not its because you actually want something out of this. Sharing stuff to people is fine, you decide weither you want a ''zing'' or not.

    From what I've read, seems like the two of you could get along just fine. Just like batman said, if you don't try your chances, how can you be sure there isn't a something ? Try it out, she gets offended, excuse yourself and explain her why. Make it clear. I seen plenty friends who've lost friends they were tight with because they didn't make anything clear after they've tried something. Tell her why you've done it and excuse yourself afterwards.

    But! since you said she also is trying then I bet ya'll just waiting for the right moment for something to go down. Only thing you can do is, get all your info, rack up your game pants and give it a try.

    To be realistic, do what you want to do and trust your guts (be independent) if you end up losing that friend, don't sob about it but learn from it. You never know she could be the one, she could be toying you. Friends come and go and that's a fact. They don't sell two seat coffins do they ?
    ablindman's new account, pm me if you need help.

  9. #9
    Bandit's Avatar
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    Default Re: We really are good friends

    Just stay friends. There's nothing wrong with that.
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “WOW...What a Ride!”

  10. #10
    Kokabel is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: We really are good friends

    Interesting, going through a similar situation. But I think this one is more one sided (my side not hers haha). But in a situation like this, it's Direct Game. Invite her out for a drink, talk, but don't hit on, lead her, again, these situations you can make the move but if y'all are really close you're going to want her to think it's her because if you go aggressive, and she gives in, then you have to deal with the guilt and questions BS afterwards. But when you go out, talk relationships, neg, but ease in. You'll know if she's into it or not. But just remember, once you open up that pandoras box, you can't close it, so just know when it comes to friends where you are looking for more than a taste, you're all in once it goes down!


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