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  1. #1
    pitchforkred is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Hey! First of all, sorry about my poor english, I've spent a lot of time writing the text below...

    So, there is that girl, who is kinda my best friend and I want her to be my girlfriend.
    I've met her two years ago by the internet and then, due to some common interests, we became virtual friends who talked sometimes. Then I met her personally a year ago in a trip and we talked a few times. At the time I had no second intentions with her and just wanted to know her better (because she is very similar to me in personality). Although we don't chatted much in that trip, after it we started to chat in the internet more often, and became more closer to each other.

    At that time she was in love with a guy from the internet who was her best friend and lives in another state, and I also was interested in a girl who lives far away. Months passed and we became such best friends. Her relationship was ruining because the guy was so much undecided, while I was placed in the friendzone of that other girl.
    That friendzone was like hell to me and then I was always complaining to her about it and talking to her about my feelings to the other girl. So she was always saying how nice and sweet I am and that she hoped to all end up right between me and the other girl (although sometimes she seemed to get mad about the attitudes of the other girl with me).
    With that other girl I was totally true about my feelings, which was totally "beta", although it was mixed with some "alpha" attitudes (that were natural, nothing planned at all) and, surprisingly, I got off of the friendzone and the girl totally fell in love with me and became my girlfriend. At the same time, the first girl decided to end her relationship.

    Months passed and this year she began to study at my college, and our virtual friendship turned out into "real" friendship.
    I started to see her daily and we began to do together so many things as possible. At the time my long-distance-relationship was ruining due to my lack of free time and, after I started to became closer to her, things got worse and I realized I am interested in her. So, a month ago I broke up with my girlfriend (kinda "friendzoned" her due the distance and all of this - I actually like that girl as a friend, anyway).
    And, finally, this is the current situation: We are both single and spend a lot of time together in the college. Most of the days we lunch together, just the two of us (she said that prefers to lunch with me than with her female friends), we do some extraclasses together and often meet during free time to talk. Most of our friends think that we are dating and, when I say the opposite to my friends, they claim that I should try it with her because she seems to be interested.

    So the point is: I really love her (fraternally) and also feel attracted to her, so I want to turn out this friendship into a relationship. I know it is a dangerous process, and first I tried to forget this idea and move on with the friendship quietly, but actually I think it worth the risk, because I really like her and, even if it turns out into a classic friendzone, due to our mutual confidence I could fix the things to the current state without big trouble.
    But I really don't know what she thinks about it. That guy who was her "ex" started trying to talk with her again, then she seems to be "freezing him" and complains to me about how she miss him, saying that don't love him anymore but miss his friendship. So I don't know if she is in love with me, if she would like if I try something or if she would friendzone me, it is what I'm trying to discover before to try anything.

    About ioi's: I've read the list in this forum and she displays all the passive indicators (except the last one because I've never tried it) and many of the active indicators (but I don't know if it means anything since it can be signals of the friendship). Recently I've tried to make eye contact with her sometimes and she always becomes very shy and laugh and put her hands on her face shouting "stop!". Although there are some good indicators over there, what bothers me is body language: She doesn't displays any positive indicators in that aspect, except by hug me randomly sometimes (but she also do it to a few other male friends), although she doesn't feel uncomfortable with my physical contact. In other words, I can touch her whenever I want but she don't touches me often.
    Anyway, she doesn't say or do "friendzone stuff" often (when someone ask her if we are dating, she just answers "no" without emphasizing that we are "best friends" or something like that). A few days ago in a chat with our friends the subject "friendzone" comes up and then she said "I can't talk much about this because I really think that it's much better to dating with friends". I wonder if it was an IOI or just a random statement. Also we txt a lot and there are sexual jokes very often.
    We're really very confident and, after all, she knows a lot about my behavior about relationships.

    So, I need help of you guys to know how can I find out if she is really interested (and, otherwise, how can I avoid the friendzone) and how to make things happen.


  2. #2
    Roadwarrior is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Help: Best friend -> Girlfriend

    Alright buddy, I'm not expert but this is what I can tell you with certainty.

    Don't focus on her, period. Focus on you, and getting your ducks in a row. Get a haircut, workout, pick up a Guitar, something to make you more awesome. As your confidence grows, she'll notice and you'll notice the shift in her behavior. You'll know man, she'll give you the ioi's
    Step 1 - Confidence, traits of value, make sure she knows you're awesome
    Step 2 - Watch for her behavioral shifts, you'll know when she's into you
    Step 3 - once you have attraction, Push Pull a bit
    Step 4 - Wait until she's in the palm of your hand, and give her the honor of being cute in your eyes.

    Keep it cool man, and good luck!

  3. #3
    Lancelot's Avatar
    Lancelot is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Help: Best friend -> Girlfriend

    Shouldn't be a problem.

    1. Next time you are having lunch, break eye contact to notice another woman. Really notice her. You can even make a comment, "Wow she's hot."
    2. Hug her like you would a friend, big old pat on the back.
    3. Next time you're on the phone, break it off mid-conversation with "My friend is here I've gotta jet," or something like that.
    4. Be too busy to do one of her 'plans'.
    5. Try to be a little more unpredictable with her.
    6. sarge other women and appear to be in high demand.
    7. When the IOIs are there, which it sounds like they are starting to be; get into a setting where you have her one on one for drinks or whatever, something a little intimate. Escalate Kino playfully at first but let it build, use your PUA techniques. Then kiss her passionately mid sentence, immediately say "sh1t we shouldn't be doing this, we're so bad." Don't do this part though unless the IOIs are there and you've escalated to a point where you feel attraction has built in her (you'll notice other IOIs typical of a normal pick-up ).

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