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  • 1 Post By Wolf24

Thread: first date advice for next tuesday

  1. #1
    Phoenix30 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default first date advice for next tuesday

    hi all,

    next tuesday i'm going on a first date with a girl that i've just met on a kind of dating site (officially it's to meet new people).

    we'll be meeting at the station of a city. She goes to school in that city since three years and i'm doing my internship there since only two weeks, needless to say i don't know the city at all but it's the only possibility where we could meet up.

    We'll be meeting at around 5.30 and i'm planning to go eat in a regular place, don't know where but we'll find something.
    afterwards we should be going for a drink of course, depending on how the date is going, we'll go to a bar or to her flat.

    I'm hoping this girl could be my girlfriend as she possesses pretty much all characteristics that i'm looking for in a girl (if i may believe her profile)

    My first objective for the date is to certainly NOT get friendzoned so my question is the following: How do I reach this objective?

    I have already read quite some stuff here on the forums so I believe I should gently touch her several times within the first few minutes and make certain decisions such as the place where we'll eat, where we'll sit and so on.

    Does anyone have any more tips for a man who's about to go on his first date ever?
    If you have comments about places to go to, also more than welcome!

    edit: For example, when eating, how should we sit? Is in front of each other good or should we sit aside so there is possibility for Kino?

    Final question: how high should i set my expectations about making it to at least a kiss close? Personally i don't think i should put these too high as it's a first date and i don't just want a ONS, but a long term relationship...

    Appreciate all suggestions

  2. #2
    Zeus101's Avatar
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    Default Re: first date advice

    Hey man, i think i can offer quite a bit of advice here for you.

    Normally after you have met a girl on a night out in a bar/club and arrange a date, then Kino in the first few mins is essential, however as you have never met this girls before you dont want to creep her out. Approach her with a big smile, wear nice clothes and groom yourself, maybe but on some nice aftershave. The key is to be confident and seem interesting, if she is interested then she is more likely to go on to a bar/back to hers with you.
    As you have pre-arranged to meet up you dont necessarily need an opener, just have some prepared stories that you can tell her on the way to the place you are going to eat, demonstrate high value from the second you meet her, but at the same time take an interest into what she says and ask her questions.
    When you get to where you are eating, if all is going well then pull her chair out for her, maybe place your hand on her back/shoulder whilst she sits on the seat, then sit opposite her so you can make direct eye contact when speaking to her, sitting next to her would just make things too awkward!
    Maybe whilst waiting for the food to come try a magic trick or palm reading, something a bit interesting to mix it up. Set yourself high expectations, that way from personal experience i feel like it makes me try harder to achieve them and makes me more confident. If all goes well over dinner suggest moving on to somewhere else, when you get enough ioi's (indicators of interet) then go in for it mate let me know how it goes

    -Zeus

  3. #3
    Phoenix30 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: first date advice for next tuesday

    wow, that really is incredibly helpful! Thanks :-D

    just some little things i'd still like some more explanation about:

    The Kino: how much should i kino her at the start and how often should i be touching her in the course of the evening (or fooling with her, give her little pushes) to really avoid being friendzoned?

    Does the same rule apply in dating as in normal game that the female knows within the first 30 seconds if i'll be a potential sexual partner?

    Maybe for me it'll be different to spot ioi's (unless they're obvious) as i'm not that well trained on spotting them, but let's say that i see some, when can i go in for the kiss? Right behind another IOI or would it be good anytime from then on?


    really appreciate the great help!

  4. #4
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    Default Re: first date advice for next tuesday

    Quote Originally Posted by Phoenix30 View Post
    wow, that really is incredibly helpful! Thanks :-D

    just some little things i'd still like some more explanation about:

    The Kino: how much should i kino her at the start and how often should i be touching her in the course of the evening (or fooling with her, give her little pushes) to really avoid being friendzoned?

    Does the same rule apply in dating as in normal game that the female knows within the first 30 seconds if i'll be a potential sexual partner?

    Maybe for me it'll be different to spot ioi's (unless they're obvious) as i'm not that well trained on spotting them, but let's say that i see some, when can i go in for the kiss? Right behind another IOI or would it be good anytime from then on?


    really appreciate the great help!
    Just a heads up I think that whole 30 second spiel is bogus. I've approached girls and gotten rejected flat out. Reapproached them, number closed------------> F-closed. I've done it twice. It so happens to be the only 2 girls I've ever reapproached too (most of the time you don't see the girl ever again).

  5. #5
    Zeus101's Avatar
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    Default Re: first date advice for next tuesday

    Theres no set amount of Kino you should aim to reach, just go with whatever feels good. A hug when you first meet her is always friendly, or a kiss on the cheek - a very gentlemenly way to greet a girl. Dont over-do the kino, you dont want to creep her out, but escalate it more through the evening, maybe compliment her hair over dinner touch it, or her hands, just anyway to test how things are going.
    The general rule is wait for 3 IOIs before you escalate things, these can be anything from her asking questions about your life, touching you or responding well to your kino.

    -Zeus

  6. #6
    Phoenix30 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: first date advice for next tuesday

    one more thing that just popped up my mind...

    I mentioned that I do not know the city at all, I just go there since a few weeks to do my internship but I only do one route: from the train station to work and back so I don't know anything else there.

    what I was wondering is how I should pick the place to eat?

    Can I simply ask her if she knows a good restaurant? I doubt this is the best way because that way she's in total control: she knows the place, she knows where she wants to sit,...

    I was also thinking about giving her the option between going to a restaurant or cooking something for ourselves, which could also be nice (only problem is that my cooking skills are worth nothing )

    edit: the paying. I wouldn't mind to pay the bill but I have read somewhere that if I'd pay the bill, it would come across as if I'm easy for her... or doesn't this count in dating?

  7. #7
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    Default Re: first date advice for next tuesday

    Quote Originally Posted by Phoenix30 View Post
    edit: For example, when eating, how should we sit? Is in front of each other good or should we sit aside so there is possibility for Kino?
    I have to say something about this. Sit so you can see the least of the place. In front of each other. When you want to transition to commenting about your surroundings, you'll have the perfect excuse to move your chair next to the girl, and then you can kino easily. If you directly start off by sitting aside you might make her a bit uneasy. But when you have that excuse she won't even notice that your actual intention is to establish kino.
    It's not about who I was or who I'm going to become.

    It's about who I am. Do it right here, right now.

  8. #8
    Flyboy86 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: first date advice for next tuesday

    All great advice here, these guys are right about the Kino, its the best way to ensure you wont go straight to the friend zone. However I just wanted to throw something in here. It sounds like you have already determined that this girl is the girl you want to be with. Ill just say dont be so sure yet. QUALIFY QUALIFY QUALIFY!!! Make her qualify her self to YOU! She should be the one saying WOW I want this guy to be my BF and you should be the one going....hmmm...is she good enough? So qualify in a fun flirty way. If you are confused about what im talking about go on youtube and look up some Adam Lyons qualification videos. They will spell it out a bit better for you. They helped me get a better grasp on the concept. It works! Good luck!


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