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  • 1 Post By mackdaddyjacK
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Thread: I have oneitis badly, need advice

  1. #1
    prznscarface is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default I have oneitis badly, need advice

    I usually have no problem with girls because I just dgaf most of the time. But the second I start developing attraction to them other than a physical one, I'm hopeless. I I met this girl in my class at the beginning of the year. At first I had my eyes on a different girl which seemed to be going well but it ended up not working at all. I admit, I was in a bit of a funk after that, so to get over it I asked this girl in my class out. I would flirt here and there and she would flirt back, giving me ioi's n whatnot so I said what the hell why not. I really had no idea what to expect with this girl, I thought she was attractive and a good girl overall, but I mainly just did it to get back in the game again. Well, now I'm hooked on this one, badly.

    First date went much better than I expected. She brought up topics I wasn't expecting her to bring up (at least not the first time we go out), such as virginity and where I've had sex, etc. It kind of took me off guard a little bit, but overall I got to know her a lot better that night on a different level as well. I know I could have made a move that night, but I didn't, mainly because I didn't want to rush into things since we are in the same class, and I didn't want to make anything awkward. A few weeks pass, I see her in class only but thats it. Tried taking her out again but things came up left and right and I was tired of always starting the convos with her. I figured I was in the friendzone and I was ready to just forget about her and move on to the next. Plus I'm moving an hour away in 4 months so that helped me forget about it.

    I don't talk to her for a week or so, but she was still in the back of my mind, so I say screw it and I ask her out one last time, and it ends up going thru. Things went well again, lots of flirting and deep convos like the last time minus the sex talk. The whole night was filled with positive signs so I became hopeful again and the symptoms of oneitis begin to kick in. As I dropped her off at her place I was ready to kiss close, but as soon as I parked she says I had a great time tonight, text me when you get home, and rushes out of the car. Now I'm sitting here thinking wtf? I was almost positive it was going to happen because of how the car ride back was. I'm getting so many mixed signals with her and at this point I don't know what to think. There is this weird attraction between her and I, and a couple people in my class have told me that it's obvious we are both into each other because of how we interact in class.

    The next time I saw her was on campus a few days later. I was so sick of beating around the bush with her that I completely disregarded playing the game and told her straight up, "I'm into you, and I'm pretty sure you're into me too, so what was the deal?" She says she is too and that she enjoys being with me and talking with me. She could have easily said no lets just be friends, but she didn't.

    To finish up this story, another few weeks pass. I'm starting to just have my doubts again because we haven't progressed from where we were at before. Things always came up or we were both busy, and I was always the one initiating it. I tired of it at this point. Now it's finals week (this week), and out of nowhere I get a random text from her, which I didn't expect at all because it's usually me that initiates the random convos. Except this time it turns into texting for the majority of the day. The next 2 days, it's the same thing, she starts the convo and it goes on for the majority of the day. She's going out of the country this weekend for 3 weeks, and shes saying things like "youre going to miss me while im gone" and turn it on her making it seem like shes going to miss me.

    I can't take it anymore. I'm 22 and I have never been this attracted to a girl in my life. I know there are plenty of women out there, but she is seriously everything I could ever ask for in a girl, and I want to do something about it before she leaves the country. I know I have the ability to get her, but at this point my emotions are too strong. Im trying to hang out with her before she leaves but she says she's super busy with school and then packing for her trip, but she will let me know. I'm tired of waiting and I just don't know what to do anymore. I know we would be great together, but as much as I don't want to, I should maybe move on. If we do end up hanging out before she goes I wouldn't even know what to do. I've never been in this position before.

  2. #2
    metalmulisha is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I have oneitis badly, need advice

    seems like shes playing hard to get, you should try flirting with other girls to get your mind off her for a bit and by the time she comes back she'll get a little jealous to see that she has competiton with other girls. try texting to keep you in her mind try to display some mystery with short responses and drop texting before she does. or you freeze her out for those 3 weeks and get her to miss you.you should switch the tables and play hard to get as well,challenge her and she'll chase you.

  3. #3
    mackdaddyjacK's Avatar
    mackdaddyjacK is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I have oneitis badly, need advice

    Don't know if you are still going through this bud and I read pretty much all your post so wanted to say what you could do for next time or for this situation if you are still dealing with it. First off you got oneitis bad bro like you want to settle down with his broad, firstly slow the fark down bro. I don't know what's the big rush but I empathize with you because I used to be the same way and have many examples of oneitis way worse than this.

    But onto the thread. You first need to stop thinking like a chump and start thinking like a champ. You need to get out there and approach women to forget about this broad but keep her in your texting rotation. You're only 22, I'm 30 and I remember when I was 22 girls confused the ever living snot out of me so I feel ya. But stop getting so hung up and clingy and just keep your options open until you have women begging to be with you then when they are wrapped around YOUR finger it is safe to say you can go exclusive with her at that point. You are thinking about her too much and the only way to stop that is to go approach more women on the weekend, get more numbers, and meet more women. You are already thinking like a married man and you are a PUA and too young to know what love is. Think bro this girl knows the rules and she is playing you good. She has got you by the balls. My best advice is to keep freezing out, ignoring, but also display levels of strong interest to confuse the heck out of her and get the power shifted back in your direction bro.

  4. #4
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    rs5096 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I have oneitis badly, need advice

    I agree with mackdaddyjack.

    She's got all the power here and its gonna drive you insane. You gotta take back the control and the only way to do that is no contact. As hard as it is and believe me I know, no contact. you got to concentrate on your other interests. You'll have a sore heart and a soft spot for her, but it seems like she has a very strong personality and she is honestly not worth the fight, you'll lose if you play it her way. Take back your control. There are tons of gorgeous women out there to meet.

    After no contact she'll contact you again, I'm pretty sure of that. Make sure it's her the makes contact. This time make sure she understands that she'll be lucky to be with you. How do you do this? Have other options. Be busy. Respond haphazardly. Be unpredictable.

    rs5096

  5. #5
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have oneitis badly, need advice

    I echo what was said in the above posts.

    I use to have major oneitis back when I was 18-25 and can hung up on a single girl for years. Til this day, I still kinda do but it's only because it's the kind of person I am as an artist. When I'm passionate about something, I'm really focused on it whether it's an artistic endeavor or w/e. I'm a poor multi-tasker. So I know the feeling.

    Being a venusian artist teaches you however to keep these emotions in check and not let it best you. Women are attracted to the perception of status. Since that is contextual, it translates to how we perceive ourselves and we need to look at ourselves as high status/value men. You can't do that if you let your emotions run unchecked because you lose your sense of self-awareness.

    A temporary solution, as hard as it is, you need to thin out your emotions and meet other women. That was the hardest thing for me to do, but once you do it, you will feel a hell lot better. With more than one woman, you will feel like a high status man and not a one woman man.

    I don't know what your hobbies are, but it is important to meet girls within your demographics. So if you don't like dancing, drinking, loud music, don't go meet women at the nightclubs. If you are the nerdy type, find women who value intelligence.

    Also I suggest on focusing on self-improvement/career. Keep yourself busy and your mind busy, because the moment you sit idle, the first thing that's going to enter your mind is her. Then you start feeling those 'emotions' of need. Go to the gym, workout, etc. Once you feel confident, then it's the women who should be qualifying to you.

    Truthfully, the girl should be a source of inspiration for you to improve yourself and not as a means for making you feel complete. Or else you handling this the wrong way.

    Right now you need to work on your confidence. It's compromised. From my experience, even if the girl is attracted to you, there are times she is going to want to do something else. If she is busy, she is busy. Unless she is crazy in love with you, she is going to have to take care of her priorities such as her trip. Let her go do her thing. You both got honest and revealed your cards. She already told you she is interested in you. THAT IS ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW. You let doubts best you and your 'need for her' smother her, you will lose her and I would worry a hell lot more about that. If you like a girl, you have to set her free and be ready to lose her.

    It's very highly likely that IF things don't work out between you two, then years down the line, you will look back and say 'what a idiot I was for feeling the way I did." I will guarantee you that and that's coming from someone like me.


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