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  1. #1
    AnonymousSeeker is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Stuck and confused. Known her 3 years.

    Here's my situation:
    I've known this girl for 3 years now. We've argued consistently off and on as if we've been a couple since day 1. About a year and a half back, after one of our arguments, she told me "I did like you, for the record. But you ruined it."

    We would stop talking for weeks, to even months, after each argument we've had. She would always be the one who comes back and initiates any form of conversation afterwards.

    More recently we seemed to have grown closer. Due to a few things happening in her life because of an ex (which I will not disclose because of the personal issues she already faces about it as it is.) Needless to say, once I found out what he had done, I immediately wanted to be the first person to be by her side. Even though, at this point, we hadn't talked in a month or so.

    We've been hanging out a lot. She says she comes over to see my niece; because she loves kids. My mother has met her and thinks that she uses that as an excuse, but really comes just to be with me. Any time I mention it to her, she tells me she doesn't want to just tell my mom "no" that it isn't the case. Apparently, while they were outside smoking, she asked my mom "why do you have to read people like that?" and left me confused even more.

    She has stayed the night and we sleep together. Nothing has happened, not even the simplest move has been made on my part. I'm nervous because I don't know if she's playing hard to get and has her walls up because of her ex messing her up, or if she genuinely doesn't have interest in me.

    Another issue with this is:
    She will tell me when she finds a guy attractive. When we're out, she constantly tells me to go find a girl to talk to. I, of course, do not make this attempt. What if it's a test? But it's hard to keep turning down an opportunity to do this when she says to, when she will tell me details about her ex's that I don't want, or need, to know.

    I finally break down and tell her how I feel last night. She replies back with something I've heard often from many girls: "I just don't want anyone right now." By her actions, however, and previous conversations, she gives me a hint that she does. Like when she complains about being ugly and how no guys will talk to her. How she won't ever get a boyfriend. But when I make that attempt to throw myself out there, she turns it down. Meanwhile, calls me on a nightly basis.

    I hang on to hope that she will like me again one day. I just hope, if she does, she will admit it before it's too late again. So my question here is, if you made it this far through the story, what do I do? Do I continue to go on with my failed attempts to be something she does want? Do you think, with this minor bit of information, that she's actually into me; or should I move along and leave her behind?

    A few tips on changing her mind and bringing down these barriers she seems to be putting up would be greatly appreciated as well. I feel like I've put too much into her to just give up, but I don't want to go too far and leave with nothing gained but more self-esteem issues and a higher fear of rejection.

  2. #2
    Zeus101's Avatar
    Zeus101 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Stuck and confused. Known her 3 years.

    There can be numerous reasons in your situation. She could be using you as a comforter for the past she has had as she feels safe with you etc. however this isnt favourable for you as you will have trouble moving things forward without breaking the delicate barrier of trust and comfort she has with you, and this i think is the most likely scenario, so tread carefully. If she has had a bad past she isnt going to be rushing into another relationship anytime soon, you want to be the guy that restores her faith in guys, so comfort her, and keep it fun, make her laugh and take her out places, show her that you care for her and arent like the guy who she had a bad past with.

    If however she is just playing hard to get, then beat her at her own game.. dont reject when she tells you to go talk to a girl, but at the same time dont just do what she says whenever she says it, if she tells you to speak to some hot girl, say no and pick a different hot girl to speak to, chat to the girl and even flirt, make your target jealous.. The one thing you can be sure on is that her coming over to see your niece is the biggest load of tosh you've heard, whatever the case, she comes over to see you..

    -Zeus
    Wise men don't need advice, Fools wont take it - Benjamin Franklin

    Stick a 50 note onto your forehead and talk to a stripper.. If you can get her to not think about the note, you are gold.

  3. #3
    AnonymousSeeker is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Stuck and confused. Known her 3 years.

    Thank you for your input. I heard from her tonight... Didn't bother calling her. She called me three times before I answered. I answered on the third in which we had the normal conversation as I spoke about earlier. I wanted to make it seem like I was too busy by not answering.... Which, I was... but.... I ended up answering the third time around and giving her the attention she wanted.

    I'll take into consideration what you said and hope it turns out like you anticipated yourself. I feel like you're right, and I really hope so too. Do you think there's a better way to find out, other than being better at her game itself?

  4. #4
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Stuck and confused. Known her 3 years.

    Anonymousseeker for the record she likes you on some level..
    you are looking at the whole thing with a wrong frame of mind.you have tools available to you to get almost any woman why are you stuck up on this.you are suppose to focus on seduction.Period.
    all your approach should be built on seduction as the end goal.ignore her past and then make the move.
    have you kissed her at least.how about escalation.
    the next time she come onto you start Kino and move things forward.Be safe!!

  5. #5
    hyp
    hyp is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Stuck and confused. Known her 3 years.

    She says she comes over to see my niece; because she loves kids.
    could be legit, a friend of mine is like that

    She has stayed the night and we sleep together.
    not even cuddling or a kiss?

    Any time I mention it to her, she tells me she doesn't want to just tell my mom "no" that it isn't the case.
    if you don't want her around, keep mentioning that she only comes over to see your neice, if you want the opposite, well do the opposite

    also why don't you go talk to some random chicks when she tells you to, call her bluff :>

    How she won't ever get a boyfriend. But when I make that attempt to throw myself out there, she turns it down. Meanwhile, calls me on a nightly basis.

    go distant, it works both ways, people say tid for tad isn't good but when it's unfair in the beginning then you can do it imo


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