Here's my situation:
I've known this girl for 3 years now. We've argued consistently off and on as if we've been a couple since day 1. About a year and a half back, after one of our arguments, she told me "I did like you, for the record. But you ruined it."
We would stop talking for weeks, to even months, after each argument we've had. She would always be the one who comes back and initiates any form of conversation afterwards.
More recently we seemed to have grown closer. Due to a few things happening in her life because of an ex (which I will not disclose because of the personal issues she already faces about it as it is.) Needless to say, once I found out what he had done, I immediately wanted to be the first person to be by her side. Even though, at this point, we hadn't talked in a month or so.
We've been hanging out a lot. She says she comes over to see my niece; because she loves kids. My mother has met her and thinks that she uses that as an excuse, but really comes just to be with me. Any time I mention it to her, she tells me she doesn't want to just tell my mom "no" that it isn't the case. Apparently, while they were outside smoking, she asked my mom "why do you have to read people like that?" and left me confused even more.
She has stayed the night and we sleep together. Nothing has happened, not even the simplest move has been made on my part. I'm nervous because I don't know if she's playing hard to get and has her walls up because of her ex messing her up, or if she genuinely doesn't have interest in me.
Another issue with this is:
She will tell me when she finds a guy attractive. When we're out, she constantly tells me to go find a girl to talk to. I, of course, do not make this attempt. What if it's a test? But it's hard to keep turning down an opportunity to do this when she says to, when she will tell me details about her ex's that I don't want, or need, to know.
I finally break down and tell her how I feel last night. She replies back with something I've heard often from many girls: "I just don't want anyone right now." By her actions, however, and previous conversations, she gives me a hint that she does. Like when she complains about being ugly and how no guys will talk to her. How she won't ever get a boyfriend. But when I make that attempt to throw myself out there, she turns it down. Meanwhile, calls me on a nightly basis.
I hang on to hope that she will like me again one day. I just hope, if she does, she will admit it before it's too late again. So my question here is, if you made it this far through the story, what do I do? Do I continue to go on with my failed attempts to be something she does want? Do you think, with this minor bit of information, that she's actually into me; or should I move along and leave her behind?
A few tips on changing her mind and bringing down these barriers she seems to be putting up would be greatly appreciated as well. I feel like I've put too much into her to just give up, but I don't want to go too far and leave with nothing gained but more self-esteem issues and a higher fear of rejection.