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  1. #1
    shakobe33 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default She says she's not girlfriend material?

    Little bit of a back story here. I have never been single my entire adult life. About 6 months ago I broke up with my girlfriend of 8 years.

    I have not attempted to get in the game since as I knew I had a lot of catching up to do to compete with with true PUA's. The amount that I have learned since discovering these forums has been amazing.

    Recently a new girl joined my team at work. Although she is an HB8 I had no intention of gaming her. Of course it is my job to help train new hires so I worked personally with her a lot.

    She started by asking me a lot of questions via instant messenger. She slowly started mixing in casual conversation. Finally she gave me her number and told me to join her at a pool party one weekend. I didn't go to the party but we have been texting, talking on the phone, and have spent a lot of time together outside of work.

    We flirt quite a bit but I honestly haven't escalated as much as I should (I've been undecided about getting involved with a coworker).

    One night we were at her friends house playing some drinking games and she got really drunk. When we were leaving she was going to get a ride home with a friend but said she wanted to walk me to my car. We talked for a moment and then we leaned in for a kiss. It didn't feel right since she was so drunk so I pulled up and just hugged her.

    She texted me the next day saying she was really hung over and didn't remember much from the night before. I told her what happened and at first she denied it happened. Then I just laughed and said I couldn't believe she was so freaked out about something so minor. She said she wasn't freaked out and that she was glad that it didn't happen because she would have wanted to remember it.

    Then she hit me with the confusing part. She said "You are boyfriend material and I'm not girlfriend material. I'm trying to protect your feelings."

    I think I may be interested in making her my girlfriend but I have no idea what she means by that. I know she casually dates and hasn't had a long relationship in the past. Am I completely friendzoned at this point? I don't know how to proceed from here.

  2. #2
    bp_patriot is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: She says she's not girlfriend material?

    Well in reading this (and this just my 2 cents) it seems like you may have made it a little awkward, one in not kissing her, but two for telling about it in text afterward. I did something very similar one time (except not a co-worker) and it kinda spooked the girl. By not taking action you gave her time to think about the possible problems it would cause at work. Girls over-think stuff A LOT. She was then protecting that awkwardness by saying that she didn't remember it (typical). Then you went and said she was "freaked out" by it; this is not a good move =/.

    So of course what she said wasn't surprising. Since she works with you, and you didn't let the kiss happen and then told her about it afterward, shit got awkward real fast. She may have liked you prior, but honestly any girl who straight up says shes not gf material is a pretty big red flag. I wouldn't make any other effort unless she does. Cut your losses, I would have just let the make-out ensue.

    But that's just me, do whatever you want.

  3. #3
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: She says she's not girlfriend material?

    I try not to work with absolutes. So I'll give you two options of what it could be.

    A. She's genuine about her comment and really feels like things would get out of hand and she'd hurt you.

    B. She's bsing because she wants you to pursue. Basically, a shit test.

    Now it doesn't really matter which one it is. What matters is what you want and go for it. Don't spend too much time analyzing or you'll drive yourself crazy.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  4. #4
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She says she's not girlfriend material?

    Red flag came up for her since you seemed to come off too strong via your overall energy.at least you are coming from a long term relationship.remembe r with girls that are typically single you could have the Mindset off being in the moment, running game whilst looking out for signals.try to avoid treating them like you were your past girl.this is a new start.next time don't allow yourself to miss out.


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